Can American Congregations Learn To Embrace The Uncoupled? by E. E. Evans

Can American Congregations Learn To Embrace The Uncoupled? by E. E. Evans

One or two points I’ve made at this blog going back years, is that churches are so obsessed with married parenthood, that even if you are currently married with children, if your children die, or if they age and move out of the house, your church will not be as welcoming to you, because you no longer have young children at home.

If your spouse dies, your church will have no use for you, and the remaining married couples will no longer hang out with you; they will view you as a potential threat and “marriage wrecker,” and they will practice the “Billy Graham Rule,” so married persons at the church will shy away from you, refuse to be seen alone with you, lest other members just assume you two are having an affair.

If you’re a married person, your spouse may die young, your spouse may develop dementia, and you will go from partners to care taker and patient, or, your spouse may divorce you – you need to develop friendships outside of your marriage.

Churches will not help you out in that area – they view all single adults, whether you are never married, widowed, or divorced, as being threats; they won’t want to be seen with you or invite you out anymore.

(Link): Can American Congregations Learn To Embrace The Uncoupled?

Excerpts:

by Elizabeth E. Evans

[The article discusses what I’ve been blogging about here for ten or more years: the number of single adults is growing, more adults are either opting out of marriage or delaying age of first marriage – and yet many churches either ignore singles to fixate on married with children couples, or they shame single, childless adults for being single, childless, which will not make more marriages happen.
The article also mentions that churches continue to face declining memberships, but many churches try to off-set the loss by appealing to young, nuclear families]

… The emphasis on family ministry, however, is stuck in the demographics of midcentury America, when houses of worship were thriving. “The church model that worked in 1960 doesn’t work anymore,” said Peter McGraw, a professor of marketing and psychology at the University of Colorado at Boulder and author of the recently published “Solo.”

In an environment where churches are hoping to attract and retain members, McGraw argues, “Why do anything that marginalizes a large group of your congregation?”

…That includes, he suggests, not only creating inclusive congregational groups, but details like making sure that promotional materials such as emails and newsletters target everyone.

Evangelical churches seem to be the most dedicated to pursuing families as members — or creating families out of their unpaired members.

… Younger singles aren’t the only ones looking to be included. Lindy Dimeo, 68, a retired crisis pregnancy center director, is a member of Blue Ridge Community Church, a small evangelical church near Charlottesville, Virginia. Dimeo and her husband played in the worship band together, but after he died, she took a few months off. “At the time it was hard living a single life in a family-oriented culture.”

When Marriage and Motherhood Become Idols by J. Oshman

When Marriage and Motherhood Become Idols by J. Oshman

This author makes many of the same points I’ve been making here on this blog for years and over on twitter.

I’m a never married, middle aged conservative woman, and while I am not opposed to parenthood or marriage, I can see how too many secular and religious conservatives have unwisely sought to fight against “anti nuclear family” or “anti natalism” sentiments of progressives by doubling down on being pro-natalism, pro-marriage, and pro-nuclear family,
even if it means insulting single and childless adults for being single and childless.

And even if it means trying to fear-monger single and childless women into getting married before they feel ready to marry, or if they have not found a suitable partner (ie, pressuring them into marrying the first other  single adult to come along, even if that other single adult is all wrong for them or comes with a truck load of Red Flags).

(Link): When Marriage and Motherhood Become Idols

Excerpts:

August 1, 2022
by Jen Oshman

Our Highest Calling?

“Motherhood is a woman’s highest calling.” It was said with awe, reverence, and authority. And it was said at a baby shower I went to a couple years ago. I was in attendance along with various friends, including one deeply saddened by infertility and one who longed to be married. …

…indeed, marriage and motherhood are good gifts. You will never catch me saying otherwise.

But the Christian church—at least the church in the United States, which I love and serve with my whole heart—has a tendency to set marriage and motherhood on a pedestal that Scripture does not support….

We in the church can know we’ve made marriage and motherhood idols by the way we talk about them and frame them in our ministries and programs. Our words and church bulletins reveal, even though it’s likely subconscious, that we can’t imagine that unmarried or childless adults have really “arrived.” We doubt their maturity until they have a spouse and some kids to prove it.

I know many singles and childless couples who have been wounded, confused, or angered by thoughtless comments made by members of their church family:

• • Are you dating anyone? I know someone I can fix you up with.
  • Don’t worry; you’ll find the right person soon.
  • The real sanctification happens when you get married (or have kids).
  • You wouldn’t know; you’re not a mom (or dad) yet.

Would Jesus Shame Single Christian Women? [No, He Would Not] by G. Dalfonzo

Would Jesus Shame Single Christian Women? [No, He Would Not] by G. Dalfonzo

This single-shaming phenomenon (by Christians especially, and sometimes secular conservatives) seems to come in waves.

In the early 2000s, Southern Baptist seminary president Al Mohler began trash talking adult singleness and adult singles in radio shows and so forth, which prompted several adult, single Christians to write rebuttals of his views.

In the past couple of months, secular and religious conservatives have been shaming, insulting, and criticizing single, childless women for being single and childless – everyone from conservative and Catholic commentator Matt Walsh, to Jewish and conservative Ben Shapiro, to Christian pastor Eric Conn.

Furthermore, Christian author Lyman Stone, wrote an absolutely disgusting singles-shaming essay for “Christianity Today” last month, where he turned Motherhood into an Idol and advocates for “bedroom evangelization,” which is NOT taught in the  Bible. The Bible says the kingdom of God grows through sharing the Gospel, not through Christians marrying, having sex, and having “Christian” children.

Sorry Lutherans and other Protestants who are into “baby baptism” and so forth, but there is no “grace” conferred upon children merely for being born to Christian adults – those children grow up and eventually have to take responsibility each for their own behavior, beliefs, and choices, and either accept or reject Christ on their own.

Being born to Christian parents does not make a child “Christian.”

Some people raised to Christian parents later reject the Christian faith in their teen or adult years and become agnostic, atheist, or jettison the fundamentalism or evangelicalism of their parents to join another type of expression of the Christian faith.

The Bible teaches that the faith is grown by sharing the Gospel – not by having biological children.

(Link): Would Jesus Shame Single Christian Women?  by G. Dalfonzo

Excerpts:

Unlike some pastors today, he never suggested that the single and childless are selfish.

May 9, 2022

My friend Ruth Buchanan recounts in her recent book Socially Awkward: “I sat through a service in which the pastor characterized all single women in my current age bracket as those who, in their twenties and thirties, had not gotten married because we wanted to have fun, enjoy life, pursue careers, and ‘do our own thing’ – and in doing so, had turned our backs on God’s will for our lives, squandering our opportunities to marry and now reaping the fruit of our self-centered choices.”

As a single Christian, I could tell a few stories myself.

I’m thankful to have found a church with pastors and congregants who have gone out of their way to show support for me as a single woman. But I’ve also been on the receiving end of jokes, stereotypes, mean tweets, casual but stinging insults.

And even more common is the unintentional overlooking of singles’ needs, our situations, and our limitations: the scheduling of women’s Bible studies during work hours, for example, or conversations that consistently leave no room for any topic but families and parenting.

For readers of a Bible that goes out of its way to honor faithful single people – including its own central character! – or even to tell us that it is better to be single (1 Cor. 7:7), we single Christians seem to spend a lot of time reminding our churches that we are also part of the body of Christ. This can be exhausting and demoralizing. For some, it’s too exhausting and demoralizing to endure.

Single Christian Women Are Much More Than Their Wombs by K. Beaty

Single Christian Women Are Much More Than Their Wombs by K. Beaty

I hope that Christianity Today magazine – where this is hosted – does not lock it down in the future.

I think the following essay is largely in response mainly to Lyman Stone’s unbiblical and deeply insulting anti-singles essay on Christianity Today’s site that was published in the week of September 4th, or maybe the week of the 14th.

I’ll only be including a few portions from the essay, not the entire thing – you’ll have to use the link below to read the piece in full:

(Link): Single Christian Women Are Much More Than Their Wombs by K. Beaty

Excerpts:

The early church elevated females for their faith witness, not their fertility. We should do the same today.

September 15, 2023

Single women are having a rough go of it lately. Their growing numbers are blamed for the rise of “woke” politics, millennial selfishness, and even incel culture [link is to The New Yorker]. In some Christian circles, single women are reminded (in case they forgot) to marry and have children, even with a gender imbalance among unmarried Christians, and even though they’re discouraged from dating outside the faith.

It’s a numerical bind causing anxiety all around.

Meanwhile, the single Christian women I know are trying to make the best of a complex reality. They seek to serve God with their daily work, invest in friendships and the church, and pursue creative and educational opportunities as they arise. Many of them also try to meet Christian men, dabble with dating apps, and pray.

… They experience cycles of hope and frustration. For most singles I know, their status is not for lack of trying, or for lack of honoring marriage as such.

…Far more, people worried about the future of Christendom—or perhaps Western civilization and its declining birth rates—are called to remember the primary way the church will be preserved through the centuries.

In sum: It’s baptism, not just babies. After all, Jesus taught it’s not enough to be born. We are all called to be born again.

Woman Who Sexist Matt Walsh Attacked for Being Single, Childless Responds to His Obnoxious Comments – She Was Harassed Online by His Fan Boys

Woman Who Sexist Matt Walsh Attacked for Being Single, Childless Responds to His Obnoxious Comments – She Was Harassed Online by His Fan Boys

I honestly wonder if Matt Walsh’s wife supports his sexist rhetoric against single/childless women – if she’s aware of it?

Or maybe she’s in on it – that is, Walsh may not honestly believe half of the obnoxious stuff he spews, he just posts inflammatory content thinking his hyper-conservative audience will love it, and it will get him more engagement online, which drives sales?

I’m a conservative. I am not against marriage or motherhood, but I absolutely condemn other conservatives who idolize marriage, parenthood, and the nuclear family, and I also condemn their disgusting tendency to support marriage (or motherhood) by way of insulting singleness or the state of being childless.

It is not necessary to esteem or promote marriage by disparaging singleness and single adults.

I posted about this incident the other day:

(Link): Matt Walsh Again Insults Woman for Being Single, Childless and Enjoying Her Life

The young woman’s name is Julia – I found that out today.

Julia posted a video responding to Walsh’s video – a copy of it is embedded in the page below, from The Right Scoop site.

She says in the video that many of Walsh’s followers sent her insults and threats, which is beyond appalling and disgusting.

There is something deeply wrong with any community of believers (conservatives, Christians, whoever they may be) who so esteem marriage (and motherhood) that they think it’s acceptable to harass or insult an unmarried woman for being unmarried (and/or for being childless).

(Link): Matt Walsh retweeted a single chick commenting on her life and she responds…

by the Right Scoop
Sept 4, 2023

Yesterday Matt Walsh retweeted a single chick commenting on how she chose to spend last Saturday watching videos on how to make some kind of food and watching shows, as she’s trying to live with the fact that she’s still single and doesn’t have children at age 29.

Here’s what he said:

Her life doesn’t revolve around her family and kids so instead it revolves around TV shows and pop stars. Worst of all she’s too stupid to realize how depressing this is.

pic.twitter.com/eLRsQBF1yz

— Matt Walsh (@MattWalshBlog) September 3, 2023

Before you see her response, just watch her video. There’s nothing odd about what she said and Walsh’s comment about her being too stupid to understand how depressing her life is is just wrong.

She knows she’s still single and is just trying to look on the bright side of things, as one person suggested. She even says she reminds herself of the ease her of her life when she’s ‘hard on herself’ for not having a family and kids yet.

I don’t know if Walsh just didn’t watch the video or what, but his comment was kinda mean.

Matt Walsh Again Insults Single, Childless Woman For Being Single, Childless and Enjoying Her Life

Matt Walsh Again Insults Single, Childless Woman For Being Single, Childless and Enjoying Her Life

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Part Two:

(Link): Woman Who Sexist Matt Walsh Attacked for Being Single, Childless Responds to His Obnoxious Comments – She Was Harassed Online by His Fan Boys

(Link): Mothers Make Motherhood Look and Sound Bad – Not Childless Women. Also: Mothers Watch Television, Too

(Link): Matt Walsh’s Hypocrisy Vis a Vis the Anti Feminism Pearl Davis, Marriage, and Personal Experience – He Also Keeps Maintaining an Un-Biblical Position on Marriage

See Also:

(Link): Bizarre: Women Who Are Genuinely Fine With Being Single or Childless and Who Publicly Admit It Deeply Disturb or Infuriate Sexist Incel Types and My Fellow Conservatives, Who Want Such Women to Harbor a Victim Mindset

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Much of the below (but not all) was also pasted towards the bottom of (Link): a previous post where I mentioned Walsh’s insulting behavior towards single, childless women.

Going forward, I may block Matt Walsh and guys similar to him (such as Elijah Schaffer and Eric Conn) who semi-regularly insult singleness or adult singles for being single.

I’ve seen enough of their nauseating content over the last few years (about singleness) to know what they believe, and I’m tired of seeing their crap in my “X” (Twitter) timeline – but other people I follow on Twitter sometimes comment on or share Walsh’s or Conn’s tweets.

These excessively pro-marriage and pro-motherhood men, and some of their conservative woman allies, always target WOMEN for being single and childless and/or for having careers. I seldom, oh so seldom, see them target MEN for being single and childless or for having careers.

I have no more interest in seeing their singles-shaming tweets, and it’s always the same tired, sexist arguments, contempt, and disdain against women being single and childless.

It’s always the same Bible passages or verses that are mis-interpreted by some of these guys to uphold their sexist and ageist anti-singleness commentary.

Matt Walsh is a Roman Catholic conservative pundit who is all over X (Twitter) and You Tube. Other than being correct about some aspects of transgenderism (but also getting a few things wrong about that), he’s wrong about a lot of other things.

I’m a conservative. I am not against motherhood or marriage, but I am firmly in opposition to anyone (and it is usually other conservatives) who turn motherhood and marriage into idols – who so oddly revere marriage and parenthood to an absurd and unbiblical degree that they usually end up insulting singleness, single adults, or the state of being childless or childfree, and that is not acceptable.

Nor is it necessary to revere marriage by insulting singleness or single adults.

As to this newest development:

Walsh again insults some single, childless lady for being single and childless. (Yes, this is not the first time he’s insulted women for being single and childless; see my post about Chelsea Handler, which I think is linked to at the bottom of this post for more about that, because Walsh previously insulted Handler for being happy about being single and childless.)

This woman posted a TikTok video discussing how she’d like children some day, but in the meantime, she’s not going to “beat herself up” for “not being where society tells her she ought to be” at age 29 (no husband or children).

(I will embed the tweet below where Walsh is insulting this lady – he actually insulted her in two tweets, there’s also a negative one below the top one).

She runs through several fun tasks she wants to do that day, thanks to having more free time than the average married parent – she talks about watching a TV show, learning a new recipe, or attending a Beyonce concert.

Walsh thinks she’s wasting her time not living life on HIS terms (i.e., married with children).

Walsh thinks this young lady is wasting her time watching television or what not.

I have news for him: my mother was a stay at home wife and mom (the type of life Walsh thinks all women should live), but my Mom’s daily habit for many years was to sit on the sofa all day, sipping iced tea and watching soap operas on television.

Now, when my siblings were younger, my Mom would obviously do a lot of child caretaking (my mother did not neglect my siblings or myself when we were little kids), but as my siblings and myself got older, she did more and more book reading (romance novels) and TV watching.

Even when I was a little kid, after my Mom took care of me (fed me breakfast in the mornings), I recall her plopping me into a playpen in a den one home we lived in so she could sit on the sofa and watch “Guiding Light.”

By the time I was around age 5, I recall my mother putting me down for late afternoon nap time (I was usually out for about an hour), and she’d spend that hour sitting on her butt, in the den, watching soap operas.

My mother loved me, made sure I got adequate hugs, attention, and food, and she spent an hour or two in the mornings doing housework (e.g., folding and putting away clean laundry), but she did not spend each and every second of her “stay at home wife and mommy-hood” role watching me, cuddling me, and reading me “Little Golden Books” (which was fine with me then, and it’s fine by me now – it never did bother me that my Mom spent time each day gardening or watching TV).

My mother spent the free time she had each day (which amounted to hours each day) watching soap operas on TV, gardening in the backyard, shopping at stores mid-day (while Dad was at work), or reading romance novels on the couch.

My Mom would typically spend the first hour or two each day (after my Dad left for his job) running a load of laundry, mopping the floor if it needed it, and dusting the furniture, but for the rest of the day, she sat on the sofa watching TV (and at that, she favored watching soap operas on the CBS channel for 4 – 5 hours each day).

But here Matt Walsh is criticizing a young single lady for watching TV and telling her she’s “boring.”

What would he call my mother, then? How does my mother watching TV for hours a day, while being a wife and mother, make her more interesting than the childless woman who spends hours a day watching TV? Or how did that make my mother’s life more meaningful? I don’t see that it does.

The woman in the TikTok video Walsh shares and mocks does not insult marriage or parenthood – she merely points out how much fun she is having so long as she is single and childless.

Wagner’s Response to TGC’s Morris’s Review of “Non Toxic Masculinity” – and Morris is Incorrect About Singleness, Among Other Issues

Wagner’s Response to TGC’s Morris’s Review of “Non Toxic Masculinity” – and Morris is Incorrect About Singleness, Among Other Issues

TGC is the same group that brought us all that cringe, weird book about sex called “Beautiful Union,” whose author claimed that sex can point us all to God, which is a disaster for those of us over 30 who are still virgins and living celibately.

I had a few comments I wanted to make below this:

(Link):  A Response to Shane Morris’s TGC Review of Non-Toxic Masculinity

Excerpts:

[The review that Wagner is responding to is located here, on TGC’s site: Sexual Ethics Is More than Not Being Evil]

by Zachary Wagner

…I want to note some of my ongoing disappointment with The Gospel Coalition on their engagement with issues of sexuality, gender, and masculinity.

…For many of my friends who have left Christianity, the straw that broke the camel’s back was not merely that Christianity was sexually restrictive. It was the hypocrisy of those who condemned the culture’s sexual permissiveness while indulging in sexual sin themselves or excusing it on the part of Christian leaders and heroes.

…In particular, the juxtaposition between purity culture on the one hand and sexual scandal on the other has opened a floodgate of apostasy for Millennials in particular, including members of my family and many very dear friends. How should evangelical pastors respond to this? Morris has little to say on this point, but he seems to imply that defending purity culture and doubling down on its good intentions is the correct approach. …

This is pastorally irresponsible. Parents, pastors, and authors were the ones who should have known better, not teenagers with raging hormones and half-developed brains. The sons and daughters of purity culture have repeatedly been told that they were the problem. Any suffering or frustration or confusion they experienced was their fault, a result of their sinful and broken inclinations.

Jesus was Single and Single People Should be Valued, Says Church of England – All Other Churches, Christians, and Denominations Need To Take Direction from This Church on This Issue

Jesus was Single and Single People Should be Valued, Says Church of England

While I’m thrilled to see a church acknowledge single adults and correct the marriage-, parenthood-, and nuclear family- idolizing as committed by Baptists and other churches and denominations, unfortunately, the Church of England jumped on to the progressive ideology bandwagon by proclaiming they cannot, or will not, define “woman.”

Shame on the Church of England for enabling the sexist “transgender” movement, but they do at least correct the single-shaming views, attitudes, practices, and doctrines of so many other churches or denominations.

More Christians, more para-church groups, Southern Baptists, and other churches and denominations really do need to course-correct from the singles-shaming or singles-marginalizing they engage in, and they need to repent of worshipping Marriage, Natalism, The Nuclear Family, and Parenthood.

(Link):  Church of England Says To Celebrate Single People, Since Jesus Was Single, Too

The report is indicative of an attitude shift within the church, which has traditionally encouraged its followers to get married and have children.

(Link): Single people should be valued by the Church of England just as much as couples, new report commissioned by two Archbishops urges

April 26, 2023

Single people should be valued by the Church of England just as much as couples, a major report has urged.

The study commissioned by the Archbishops of Canterbury and York points out that Jesus himself never married, and warns that single people may feel unwelcome if churches overuse the word family.

It also admits that being in a committed couple is no guarantee of being ‘happy ever after’ – and that even Adam and Eve had strains in their relationship.

…And it warns that ‘hook-up culture’ is now presented as normal to young girls but adds: ‘Loveless sex is not empowering.’

…The report says it is a ‘point of concern’ that the Government has increased the marriage age to 18 while leaving the age of consent at 16, saying: ‘It legally implies that sex before marriage is acceptable in a way that it was not legally until now.’

…Others who were divorced felt ‘unwelcome in their church and judged for their ‘failure’, with some leaving as a result.

‘Others commented that the declining numbers attending a church is symbolic of an institution which fails to understand and acknowledge the diversity of family life today,’ the report warns.

‘We heard that the Church of England often conveys an expectation of marriage which is not present in society, and that there is too much focus on marriage and family in the church community, especially as increasing numbers of people are choosing to remain single.’

…And it recommends that the Church: ‘Honour and celebrate singleness, whether through choice or circumstance, and recognise the full place of single people within the Church and society.’

It points out: ‘We are reminded that Jesus never married and remained single throughout his life. This was unusual as it was expected at that time that everyone would marry.’ 

(Link): A Church of England report released Wednesday said that single people “must be valued at the heart of our society.”

APRIL 26, 2023 / CBS NEWS

…A Church of England report released Wednesday said that single people “must be valued at the heart of our society.”

The 238-page report, titled “Love Matters,” was the third in a trilogy of major reports commissioned by the Archbishops of Canterbury and York. The first addressed housing and the second examined care and support.

The latest report, on families and households, reflected the church’s changing stance on singlehood and single-person households.

The church’s report acknowledged that a growing number of people elect to be single as a result of divorce, separation, the death of a partner, not having found a suitable partner, or as a deliberate lifestyle choice. It said that loving relationships matter to single people just as much as they do to those who are married with families.

Conservatives With Blinders On: Upset Over Racism Against Whites, but Not Sexism; Criticizing the Woke for Ignoring Whites but Not Caring When Churches Ignore Singles and the Childless

Conservatives With Blinders On: Upset Over Racism Against Whites, but Not Sexism; Criticizing the Woke for Ignoring Whites but Not Caring When Churches Ignore Singles and the Childless

I’m a conservative, but I don’t see eye to eye with other conservatives on every subject.

I generally agree with conservative site “Not the Bee’s” takes on many, but not all issues, and I find a lot of material by their sister site, which is a parody site, “The Bee” to be amusing.

Conservative Matt Walsh is correct about the transgender issue but not much else.

I notice these conservatives are sometimes hypocritical or blind to their own double standards or insensitivities. Here are a few of them I’ve picked up on lately.

The same Babylon Bee (and its associated, non-parody site, Not The Bee) sometimes take pot shots at, or mock, transwomen.

These conservative sites don’t agree with biological men who identify as women being allowed on to women’s sports teams and so forth, which I agree with them on.

However, oddly, the rest of the time, these two “Bee” sites (and other similar conservatives) like to make sexist jokes about women or treat Women’s History Month like a joke, as does Matt Walsh.

These conservative groups will condemn sexism in very narrow situations, when it’s carried out by progressives, but then they spend the remainder of their time either making sexist jokes about women too, or spreading and defending sexist gender stereotypes – which is what the far left does.

Sandwiches, Racism, and Sexism

Take this Not the Bee tweet and article for example (their tweet for this was time stamped 3:25 PM · Mar 21, 2023):

(Link): Here’s a hilarious thread of 28 everyday things that have now been labeled racist– Not The Bee site, article by Jesse James, March 21, 2023

Here's a hilarious thread of 28 everyday things that have now been labeled racist https://t.co/TEXdfJU9fY

— Not the Bee (@Not_the_Bee) March 21, 2023

On that list is included Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches.

(Snopes will dispute that such a claim was ever made by the woke, but I read the article in which the claim first appeared, and yes, the woke were implying that PB&J sandwiches are racist. It wasn’t stated as bluntly as the dumb dumbs at Snopes would prefer, but it was in there.)

Like the Not the Bee site, I too find it laughable to classify PB&J sandwiches racist. I do think the woke go over-board with insisting we all see “white supremacy” and racism in every facet of life.

That is not where I disagree.

It’s that the writers of the non-parody site take objection to that conflation of racism and sandwiches, but their parody site, earlier that same day, made a joke  at the expense of women, using a sexist trope uttered by sexist men at women: “Make me a sammich,” or “women are only good for making sandwiches.”

Hmm, you don’t like that the woke declared PB&J sandwiches racist,
but in another recent tweet via your sister account, The Bee,
made a sexist joke in poor taste about women making sandwiches & tied that to Women’s History Month.
🤔#sexism #racism https://t.co/HdgOmlrhju

— Solo (@sololoner2) March 21, 2023

(Link): 10 Iconic Milestones In Women’s History – via The Babylon Bee

(The content of that page is very patronizing, consisting of a list of photos of sandwiches, in one, a woman’s hand can be seen spreading mayo on bread, with comments below each photo saying things like, “Behold the accomplishments of women, is there anything women can’t do.”)

I’m supposed to find that funny… and I do have a sense of humor… but no, I don’t find that funny.

10 Iconic Milestones In Women's History https://t.co/lQEhLzZCe3

— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) March 21, 2023

Their tweet for the above was time stamped 2:51 PM · Mar 21, 2023 – that’s just about 34 minutes the same day before they sent a tweet to an article on their non-parody site expressing incredulity over progressives deeming PB&J sandwiches racist.

I’m fairly sure that the non-parody Bee site ridiculed Hershey’s chocolate company for using a man as their spokeswoman for their “HERshe’s” candy bars to promote Women’s History Month. Which again says The Bee writers are fine with conservatives insulting women but not progressives.

Couples Who Marry Due to Family, Social Pressure 50% More Likely to Divorce: Study – reportage by Leonardo Blair

Couples Who Marry Due to Family, Social Pressure 50% More Likely to Divorce: Study – reportage by Leonardo Blair

And what do conservative Christians (who tend to be hyper-pro-marriage-and-pro-parenthood-and-pro-nuclear family) do BUT to highly pressure and shame single, childless adults into marrying.

I did a post here years ago about a woman who says she felt pressured to marry by her church, so she ended up marrying the wrong guy, and she regretted it, and she divorced (link to that is below, under “Related Posts”).

Christians and pro-nuclear family conservatives deify marriage (and parenthood and the nuclear family) to such an un-biblical, absurd degree that they end up alienating, insulting, and marginalizing any adult who doesn’t marry or have kids for whatever reason, and it needs to stop.

And by the way, for single adult women who had wanted to marry but remain single after the age of 30, 40, or older, getting married is not easy, but so many conservatives incorrectly assume that if you want marriage, it is easy-peasy, it’s a total snap, that if you want marriage, it will “just happen”,

(or, conservatives – and sometimes secular liberals, too – incredibly, insultingly, and unrealistically – expect single, adult women to “settle” for marrying stupid, abusive, weird, disturbed, sexist, ugly, fat, or idiot men
– of course, they hypocritically would not expect their own single adult daughter to marry a loser or weirdo (no, they advise their own single adult daughter to hold out for a quality catch),
but they feel fine advising non-family single females they run into to marry ANY GUY with a pulse who they cross paths with – it is so hypocritical and demeaning).

If one is a single, adult woman who desires marriage, it is not easy to find a decent, compatible man to marry – not on dating sites, bars, or in churches, either (most churches lack marrying-age single men, and some of the men who attend are abusive or are pedophiles who want to marry an adult woman to act as a “beard” to hide their sexual attraction to children).

(Link): Couples Who Marry Due to Family, Social Pressure 50% More Likely to Divorce: Study by Leonardo Blair

Excerpts:

Nov 2, 2022
by Leonardo Blair

Couples who get married due to family or social pressure are up to 50% more at risk of having a union that ends in divorce, according to a recent study from the Marriage Foundation in England and Wales.

The study, “Attitudes towards marriage and commitment,” published in October, asked 2,000 adults who had ever married how much they agreed or disagreed with each of 12 reasons presented by researchers for why they got married.

To ensure that the findings were relevant to today’s families, researchers then focused on 905 couples from the sample who married for the first time after the year 2000 when online dating emerged.

“What this research shows conclusively is that the reasons why people get married has a significant material impact to whether they stay together. While this might seem obvious, this has never been quantified,” said Harry Benson, Marriage Foundation’s research director, in a statement about the study shared with The Christian Post. “But the message is clear. Get married for love and your future together and not because it is either expected of you or because of family pressure.”

Marriage Counselors Share 30 Mistakes Couples Make

Marriage Counselors Share 30 Mistakes Couples Make

I have a quibble with #14 on the list. It says you’re not supposed to “keep score” in a relationship.

I think I see what they mean, but…. there are times in your life when you’re in a relationship, whether it’s dating, a work relationship, friendship, marriage, whatever type of relationship, where the other person is in fact self-absorbed, selfish, and/or narcissistic, which means, you will start to notice after so many months or years that you are definitely doing most of the giving most of the time but the other person hardly gives back.

When you’re in an imbalanced relationship, you can’t help but start to notice and feel resentful, and that type of relationship is not sustainable. It’s NOT petty or immature to start noticing and getting angry, resentful, or tired of being exploited by another person. That’s actually a normal reaction.

Point 3 below reminds me of a variation of friendships or other non-romantic relationships: when you, for example, call a family member because you’re upset, sad, stressed or angry about X, but the family member uses YOUR phone call about YOUR problem to say something like, “That sounds bad, but let me tell you about MY bad day / week / month / marriage / job problems.”

And before you know it, you end up listening to THEM talk about THEIR problem for an hour and a half, when you phoned them seeking a sounding board or empathy for YOUR problem.

I’ve had numerous friends and family over my life pull that on me, and it’s totally infuriating.

I was too bashful for years to do anything about it, but a few years ago, when one of my Aunts tried pulling something similar on me – she tried to commandeer the phone call to make it all about HER.

I listened to a moment for her to talk about her, I made a brief comment about “oh, I’m sorry to hear about that,” but then I said, “but anyway, like I was saying to you a moment ago, I’m upset lately, because blah blah blah…” (I pivoted the phone call BACK TO ME).

I didn’t let this Aunt, who is notorious for hijacking of conversations to turn it all back to her and her life, to get away with it yet again.

Here is the list:

(Link): Marriage Counselors Share 30 Mistakes Couples Make

Excerpts:

March 23, 2022
by Ieva Gailiūtė and Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Anyone in a long-term relationship can tell you it’s no easy walk in the park. Just think about the heated arguments, compromises, and misunderstandings — navigating the ups and downs is quite a task right there, especially when it comes to marriage. Well, no one is immune to the occasional blips and bumps in the road, and this viral thread is here to prove it.

Reddit user Zorra_ decided to find out what blunders happen after people tie the knot and say “I do”. They raised a question on the Ask Reddit online forum: “Marriage counselors, what are the most common mistakes couples make?” Hundreds of professionals rolled up their sleeves and typed some of the things they witnessed during their careers.

…..1. [Relationship Should Take Priority Over Marriage]

I’m not a marriage counselor but my wife posted a very meaningful and controversial article the other day and tagged me in it because I agree with its philosophy.

It was titled “Your kids should not be the most important part of your marriage.”

A Preoccupation with Romantic Love Can Limit Our Life Choices and Undermine Our Happiness by Bella DePaulo

A Preoccupation with Romantic Love Can Limit Our Life Choices and Undermine Our Happiness by Bella Depaulo

(Link): A Preoccupation with Romantic Love Can Limit Our Life Choices and Undermine Our Happiness by Bella Depaulo

Excerpts:

… Social scientists have sometimes contributed to our preoccupation with romantic love by focusing on that far more often than other kinds of love or other kinds of meaningful relationships.

Increasingly, though, researchers are documenting the potential downsides of an overinvestment in romantic love.

 They are showing the ways in which (Link): romantic themes limit the aspirations of young women.

They are also showing that adolescents who get their wish and become romantically involved (Link): end up more depressed than adolescents who spend the same amount of time without any romantic relationships.

Adults, too – women, especially – sometimes find that (Link):  their romantic relationships become more depressing over time.