“You’re not a real man until you have children” – childless, childfree women should be able to relate to this too

“You’re not a real man until you have children” by G. Proops – women should be able to relate to this too

The audio in this contains the “F bomb” a lot, but what he says is true.

He starts out focusing his discussion on childless men, but it becomes generic enough, so if you are a CF or childless woman, you should be able to relate.

Among other things, he talks about how parents today whine about having to take care of their own kids. He tells them to shut up, because it was their choice to have kids, and having a kid becomes your job.

He talks about how parents act as though single, childless people are nothing – parents can be very condescending to singles, childless, or childfree people.

(Link): Greg Proops On Having Children – The Smartest Man In The World



Related post:

(Link): Childfree By Choice: How Women are Redefining Tomorrow’s Family

Baby Making Fixation at Christianity Today Magazine Online – Shaming Women For Not Procreating, or For Delaying Motherhood, or For Limiting the Number of Children

Baby Making Fixation at Christianity Today Magazine Online – Shaming Women For Not Procreating, or For Delaying Motherhood, or For Limiting the Number of Children

I am not going to provide links as is my custom, because I find this so obnoxious. (The URL to the excerpted piece is below).

Within about a week long time frame, CT (Christianity Today magazine) published two very “pro motherhood” type articles on their site.

I am not an opponent of motherhood. If a woman chooses to have babies, that is A-OK with me.

What I find appalling is how Christians either rain guilt down upon, or else shame, women for

  1. choosing not to have children at all, or
  2. for choosing to use birth control to delay when to have kids, or
  3. using birth control to limit the number of children they have, or
  4. to assume all childless women are childless by choice

On occasion, some Christian males, such as Al Mohler and Rev. Mark Driscoll, have screamed at young men to run out and get married immediately, but it seems to me that about 98% of the time, Christians and social conservatives are yelling at WOMEN to hurry up, get married, and crank out kids.

I do not think either gender should be pressured to marry at all or soon in life, but I am tired of the sexist double standard.

Women get more shamed and pressured to marry, marry young, and have children, and have children young, more often than men do.

I come across these “marry and make babies young” editorials by Christians and sometimes conservatives, aimed at women far more often than I see them directed at men.

Christians often teach adult singles that if they want a mate, they must achieve perfection, because God will not gift them with a spouse so long as they are flawed.

But then these same Christians, or others, like the lady below, assume if a woman wants a husband, all she has to do is “choose” one. I see. So if I want to get married, I can just “choose” a man, and get married?

But how does that view square with the Christians who tell me the reason I am unmarried is that God is “sanctifying me” and “cleaning me up” before he will send me a spouse?

How is it that I am told on the one hand by some Christians that God is requiring me to fix myself before he’ll send me a spouse, but at the same time, these other Christians are saying I can have a husband if I just “choose” to have one? Which is it?

Here are the editorials I am talking about – these were published under the women’s section of Christianity Today online, and are chock full of sexism, assumptions, and guilt trips:

Have Babies, Just Not Yet – published on Christianity Today, Aug 18 2014, by Courtney Reissig 




“How Natural Family Planning Shaped My View of Sex” - published on Christianity Today, Aug 25 2014 

Note: I have revised this post to remove most of the direct quotes and have instead summarized most of the author’s points; what follows, and under FAIR USE, are excerpts, and NOT the full articles / editorials.

Even before this revision, I did NOT reproduce the entire editorial, contra the claims of the Christianity Today employee who contacted me over this via Twitter.

Excerpts from (and I have some remarks below these excerpts, farther down the page):

  • Have Babies, Just Not Yet – published on Christianity Today, Aug 18 2014, by Courtney Reissig
  • There are a number of reasons for the delay of childbearing on the part of women, who increasingly find themselves pursuing higher degrees, working full-time, and taking on leadership positions.
  • [snip many comments by author about how women are, she feels, choosing to pursue a career, or obtain a college education, over having children]
  • [snip further comments where the author cites studies that the average age of a woman having her first child is age 30, and she notes that she thinks that Christians believe that any woman who has a child around age 20 is wasting her choices and opportunities] Continue reading

Want To Grow Your Church? Advertise Sex (Story via A Little Leaven Blog)

Want To Grow Your Church? Advertise Sex. (story via A Little Leaven blog)

A church put up a billboard with the words, “I Love Sex – God” (with a heart symbol where it says “Love”)

You can watch the news report about the billboard here (the blog has an embedded video of a news report about the church’s billboard):

(Link): Want To Grow Your Church? Advertise Sex.

The preacher of the church says since culture is so obsessed with sex, why not the church? He thinks talking about sex from the pulpit will get his church more new members.

Meanwhile, you have Christian adult celibates who might from time to time like to hear that God loves celibacy and/or adult singleness, but churches keep right on ignoring them to chase after the married couples and to tell the married couples how much God supposedly wants them to have sex.

(Link): Church Puts God and Sex on BillBoard

  • Aug 28, 2014, 2:18 PM ET

(Link):  Church Uses Racy Billboard to Attract New Visitors

To even the score, here are some images confirming that God is not a sex crazed, sex obsessed weirdo, and that he values singles and celibacy too:

"I Love Singles - God"

“I Love Singles – God”

"I Love Celibacy - God"

“I Love Celibacy – God”

"I Love Virginity - God"

“I Love Virginity – God”

Related posts:

(Link):  Preacher: ‘They Will Know We Are Christians By Our Hot SEX Lives’ – and once more, never-married celibate adults and their experiences, wisdom, and input are ignored

(Link):  Never Married Christians Over Age 35 who are childless Are More Ignored Than Divorced or Infertile People or Single Parents

(Link):  No Christians and Churches Do Not Idolize Virginity and Sexual Purity – Christians Attack and Criticize Virginity Sexual Purity Celibacy / Virginity Sexual Purity Not An Idol

(Link):  Resident Christian Marriage Advice Writer at Christian Mag Admits Some Christian Marriages are Sexless

(Link):  Strange Anti Masturbation Billboard by Religious Group
(Link):  Southern Baptist Russell Moore Admits That Christians Have Sexless Marriages

(Link):  Pastors avoid ‘controversy’ to keep tithes up, author says – Confirms What I’ve Been Saying All Along, Re: Churches: Contrary to Progressive Christians, Churches / Christians Do Not Support or Idolize Sexual Purity, Virginity, or Celibacy – they attack these concepts when not ignoring them

(Link):  More Married Couples Admit to Sexless Marriages (various articles) / Christians promise you great frequent sex if you wait until marriage, but the propaganda is not true

Ashley Madison, Site For Married Cheaters, Admits to Spying on Users and May Require a Deactivation Fee

Ashley Madison, Site For Married Cheaters, Admits to Spying on Users and May Require a Deactivation Fee

Some Christians, especially some Baptists and conservative evangelicals, fundamentalists, and Reformed, frequently teach that marriage makes people more sexually pure, in that they assume married people do not commit sexual sin.

By contrast, these same types of Christians assume that un-married adults are harlots with insatiable sexual appetites who sleep around with 100 people per week. When in fact, some singles (such as myself) are more chaste than some married people.

Also, Christians often teach that “married sex is mind blowing, so you should wait until marriage to have sex.” If that were the case, why do so many married people have affairs and turn to sites such as Ashley Madison which help them find affair partners?

(Link):  Ashley Madison Draws Complaints Over Profile Deletion Fee
(Link):  Do you really need to pay $20 to delete your Ashley Madison profile?  

  • Cheaters are pushed for money to delete profiles, but don’t have to pay..
  • ..Of course, Ars couldn’t resist the urge to look into a story involving sordid extramarital dealingsand alleged extortion. As it turns out, however, the issue is a bit more nuanced. Ashley Madison doeslet users delete their profiles for free, but directions on how to do so can be confusing to the point where they appear misleading.

(Link): Dating website spied on its cheating users

  • It wasn’t the spouses of cheaters that were doing the spying.  A dating website for people looking to secretly cheat spied on their users.
  • Eric Anderson, the “chief science officer” at Ashley Madison, a dating website for affairs, spied on more than 4,000 conversations from 100 women had with potential flings.
  • …The study claims that women look to cheat before they need more passion. The research suggests that women would rather cheat than divorce because they usually still love their husbands. 

(Link):   Cheaters’ Dating Site Ashley Madison Spied on Its Users

  • A service for people seeking affairs secretly analyzed its members’ conversations

Continue reading

Response to Various Cranky Critics Who Have Left Nasty Posts At This Blog From June to August 2014

Response to Various Cranky Critics Who Have Left Nasty Posts At This Blog From Around June to August 2014

If you have even bothered to glance at the heading on this blog, it says,

  • this is a blog for me to vent; I seldom permit dissenting views. I don’t debate dissenters.

This disclaimer doesn’t stop cranky people, the occasional troll, or idiot from leaving nasty, vulgar, or negative remarks.

I do not usually read the negative posts that closely. I generally scan the first few lines of a new post, and if I ascertain quickly it’s a troll post, that it contains vitriol, snark, or a rant, I send it to the trash.

In the past two months, I’ve gotten a handful of nasty grams. I sent those posts to the trash can.

Here are summaries of the various nasty grams I have received, and my responses.

In this post, I will be discussing,

  • 1. The Bitter Lady
  • 2. The Grouchy Be Equally Yoked Lady
  • 3. The You’re An Intolerant Homophobe Guy
  • 4. The Immature I Am a 40 Year Old Man Who Likes to Pork 20 Year Old Women Lying Creepster Troll

-among others

Continue reading

Why Christians Need To Divorce The Topic of Sex From “Family” and “Marriage”

Why Christians Need To Divorce The Topic of Sex From “Family” and “Marriage”

Why Christians Need To Divorce The Topic of Sex From “Family” and “Marriage”

In my estimation, Christians are mistaken in how they address sexual sin in today’s culture.

I am pretty conservative myself. I am not opposed to traditional values, hetero/traditional marriage, or the family.

I am in disagreement with the attitudes and preoccupation by Christians and conservatives with these things, however, and to an extent, with how they choose to address these issues.

I repeatedly see conservative Christians make complaints such as:

  • Ever since birth control pills came along and widely available in the 1960s, people divorced sex from procreation.
  • Therefore, Christians feel birth control should be banned or discouraged, or people should return to viewing sex as a baby-making vehicle only, or primarily.

(This is also a faulty argument when one considers some married hetero couples are infertile or may choose not to have children. I see no strong grounds for such couples to stop having sex merely because they are unwilling or unable to procreate. I believe there are other reasons or purposes for having sex other than procreation.)

Christians will go on to make other, similar arguments and complaints such as:

  • Ever since no-fault divorce, people jettisoned the idea of marriage- as- duty, to hold the mindset, “does this marriage please me.”

These Christians feel that the idea that “marriage is a duty and obligation, not a means of fulfilling my personal happiness” should be pushed instead.

Here is an except from an article I was reading today (source):

  • Last year, one of the church’s sermon series was called “Family Under Attack.” It discussed topics that included homosexuality, divorce and couples living together out of wedlock. Moore recalled one churchgoer being disappointed with the series.

In the aspect in which it’s being discussed here by Christians, “family” has nothing to do with sex, homosexuality, couples living together prior to marriage, and so forth, but they sadly think that it does.

You will notice that Christians are more concerned about their pet idol, “the family” being damaged, than they are with sexual purity in and of itself.

Christians are more concerned that their idol, the “nuclear family” still resemble the 1950s sit com show “Leave It To Beaver,” than they are with celibacy, virginity, and sexual purity, for their own sakes.

Christians and social conservatives are not concerned about adult singlehood. Despite the fact the Bible teaches that God respects adult singleness, Christians remain obsessed with “the family” and do not care at all how adult singles over the age of 30 cope with the pressure to remain sexually pure in our sex-saturated culture.

There is nothing to indicate in the Bible that the word or concept of “family” should be used as an all-encompassing code phrase to mean “only heterosexual sex between one man married to one woman, marriage is to be permanent, and marital sex is for baby making only or primarily.”

I am over 40 years of age, have never married and am still a virgin. For Christians to keep using the words “marriage” and “family” or “family values” and all assorted, associated terms and rhetoric (such as, “family under attack,” “the traditional family,” “oh my gosh, what about the children,” etc) does not speak to my specific situation.

It also doesn’t offer a sound rationale for why I should not be having sex as a single woman.

The fact is, some people are single and may never marry – and they do want to get married but have been unable to find a spouse (see (Link): this post).

There are some singles who are not choosing to stay single – they remain single in spite of wanting to be married.

Some people divorce mid life, or their partner dies, or their partner divorces them, or their partner joins the Marines and gets sent to serve in Afghanistan for twelve months.

Why should any of these people in these situations remain chaste? Do Christians have a good answer? Telling them to “wait until marriage to have sex, because sex is meant only for marriage” is not a good answer.

I’m not quite sure how to convey my thoughts on this, but there are situations in life where a person does not have a spouse, cannot get a spouse, and they are left single and alone.

Telling a single celibate who wants to be married that she should marry if she wants sex is a Catch-22. It does nothing to address her situation or why she should be celibate while she remains single and may never marry, because she will never meet a “Mr. Right”.

Yet, Christians keep repeating the refrain at singles, “Wait until you get married to have sex.”

Therefore, constantly framing sexual topics under the rubric of “family,” as Christians and social conservatives are wont to do, offers little to no philosophical underpinnings or justifications or compelling reasons for an adult single, or a married person separated geographically from her spouse, to stay celibate.

I am single. I am not married. I do not have a husband or children. I do not have a ‘nuclear family,’ so why should I not be having sex? By emphasizing “family, family, family” Christians have no reasons to give me. 

Continue reading

Southern Baptists Pushing Early Marriage, Baby Making – Iranians Pushing Mandatory Motherhood – When Christians Sound Like Muslims

Southern Baptists Pushing Early Marriage, Baby Making – Iranians Pushing Mandatory Motherhood – When Christians Sound Like Muslims

 (Link): Blogger Guy,  John H. Morgan, Who Accused Me Of Being Untrustworthy Apparently Finds My Blog Trustworthy Enough to Use As A Resource

I first saw mention of this via (Link): Defend The Sheep’s Twitter feed (Julie Anne of SSB blog).

From The Christian Post, August 20, 2014:
(Link): Southern Baptist Leaders: Christians Should Make Themselves ‘Marry-able’ Younger

And today, I saw this on my Twitter (via a Childfree account I follow, (Link): Childfree Agent):
(Link): Iran’s Plan for Population Growth: Mandate Motherhood

I have blogged before (see links at bottom under “related posts”) about the conservative Christian concern that Christians are not marrying at all, or not until later in life – but their real fear seems to be that Christians are not reproducing – and at that because they are afraid the Non Christians will “out breed” them.

Some of them may also be adhering to this unbiblical notion that America’s morality can be restored only if Christians adhere to strict gender role views, which includes the very unbiblical idea at woman’s only godly, or most high calling, is to marry and have babies.

I should pause here to mention a few other things.

First of all, most Christians seem oblivious to the fact that most Christians are not marrying, or not until they are age 30 or older. The fact that there are many Christian women who want marriage but who cannot find a mate well into their 40s and thus remaining single against their hopes is eluding most of them.

Secondly, some conservative Christians are honestly unaware that other Christians are advocating early marriage, such as radio host Janet Mefferd – see this previous blog post of mine, (Link): Mefferd Guest Focus on the Family Spokesperson Stanton Incredulous that Preachers Push Kids To Marry Early.

If I remember her reaction correctly, and her male guest’s, I think Mefferd and her guest both thought the idea of pushing kids to marry before college (or during) was a very strange one, or legalistic – but yet, yes, some Christians are in fact guilting or lecturing young Christians to marry prior to their 25th birthday, and they’ve been on this kick for at least the past 3 or 4 years now, maybe a bit longer.

If self-professing Christians are repeating some of the same doctrines or views of Non-Christian groups, this ought to give them strong pause. Here you have a predominantly Muslim nation, Iran, mandating motherhood, and a lot of evangelical Christians and Baptists doing the same thing to American Christian women.

If you think the salvation of America or individual souls or the church relies upon whether or not American Christians marry and have babies, you are following Islam. You are not following Christianity.

The propaganda of “Marry and make babies to save the world, save the church, and to lead people to Christ” is not the Gospel.

Continue reading

Relationship Virgins by B. DePaulo

Relationship Virgins by B. DePaulo

I have a few internet friends who made it to their early 30s and never had a boyfriend, never been on a date. A few of them found this embarrassing.

We do live in a culture that seems to assume everyone has lots of dates as teenagers, but a lot don’t.

Hollywood and TV shows certainly perpetuates this. Almost every show I ever watched had teens on it who were dating. I didn’t start dating until I got out of college, so I never related to the teenybopper crud I saw on TV.

(Link): Relationship Virgins

    Perceptions of romantic relationship virgins are not all bad.

Published on April 5, 2014 by Bella DePaulo, Ph.D. in Living Single

I just learned that there is a name for people who make it to their 20s or beyond without ever having had a romantic relationship. They are called “relationship virgins.” Relationship is a big, inclusive word. It encompasses friendships, family ties, bonds with neighbors and mentors and more, in addition to romantic links. So by my definition, there are no “relationship virgins.” But okay, let’s talk about “romantic relationship virgins.”

Continue reading

Should Christian Women Marry Non Christian Men? (discussed at another blog) Be Not Unequally Yoked Dangerous Teaching to Single Christian Women

Should Christian Women Marry Non Christian Men? (discussed at another blog)

All right, here’s a topic that is recurring on my blog here. It’s being discussed at SSB, Spiritual Sounding Board here:

(Link): Learn to Discern: Who would you choose to marry, an abusive Christian or a kind and gentle unbeliever?

Yes, Christian men can be abusive, or negligent, or raging porn addicts – even ones who work as preachers.

I routinely blog such examples, many of which can be found in these two posts (both threads contain examples of Christians who abuse, murder, molest, etc):

(Link): Marriage Does Not Make People More Loving Mature Godly Ethical Caring or Responsible (One Stop Thread)

-contains examples of news stories of Christian men who murder their wives, molest kids, rob stores, etc.

(Link): Parenthood Does Not Make People More Loving Mature Godly Ethical Caring or Responsible (One Stop Thread)

-contains examples of news stories of Christian men arrested for rape, molesting, etc

I have been to blogs for Christian women who divorced their abusive husbands.

I seriously doubt that any of these Christian women intentionally wanted to marry a fraud, a man who claimed to be Christian but really was not.

I doubt these women sought to marry a self-professing Christian who would abuse them, or turn out to be a pedophile or whatever.

I’m sure these women probably prayed before they married, “Lord, show me your will, is this man the one? Should I marry this one or not?” – etc.

They probably prayed about it, felt okay about marrying the guy, the guy appeared to be Mr. Nice Christian, he attended church weekly, carried a Bible under one arm, and gave sandwiches to homeless people and rescued kittens from trees… yet, after marriage, these women saw that the guy was not the same behind closed doors as he was in public.

He was abusive, or hooked on porn, or was a serial adulterer.

No Christian woman knowingly wants to marry a guy who has those issues.

Christian women who believe strongly in “be equally yoked” don’t want to marry a pervert or an abusive man, but devout Christian women end up marrying these jerks all the time. I have seen it time and time again on forums and blogs the last several years.

I’m sure these Christian women have nothing wrong with their discernment skills. I don’t know why, if there is a God, he permits these trusting, faithful women to end up with perverts or abusers for spouses.

I started out a wide-eyed, sincere, devout Christian and remained fully on board with all things conservative Christian until about a year or two ago, where I’ve been working through the faith, thinking do I want to stay in it or not.

Now, growing up, I heard from preachers, or read in Christian books, that Christians should only marry other Christians, and the “be not unequally yoked” verse and the like was repeatedly tossed at me. So I sat around, praying and asking God to send Mr. Christian Right into my life.

I was engaged at one stage to a Christian guy but broke things off with him. I dated a guy who may have been marginally Christian – but that he wasn’t a committed Christian enough (if at all; I was unsure -I had met him years prior to meeting my ex-fiance and was much younger at the time) I did not pursue things with him.

So, I find myself still unmarried and in my early 40s. I had wanted to marry by 35 years of age at the latest.

One factor of several that kept me single this long is precisely this dippy “be not unequally yoked teaching.”

For one thing, it is notoriously difficult for a single Christian woman to find single Christian men in churches, and the ones who claim the faith on dating sites tend to be perverts. The ones who do show up at churches tend to be obese or weird.

As so many Christian men are pornography addicts, turn out to be wife abusers, pedophiles, or to seek out prostitutes or have affairs, I see absolutely no sense in Christian single women maintaining the “be equally yoked” teaching.

If you visit the link to the SSB above, you can see a couple of Christian women say they started out married to Christian men, but their Christian spouses turned out to be abusive or jerks, and they married later to Non-Christian guys who treat them a million times better. Proof is in the pudding: you can be just as happy – if not more so – married to a Non-Christian guy as to a Christian one.

Continue reading

The Hope Of The Pharisees by Ty Grigg (Re: Platonic Male Female Relationships)

The Hope Of The Pharisees by Ty Grigg (Re: Platonic Male Female Relationships)

If you are an un-married woman, you will be isolated in churches, due to evangelical and conservative Christian paranoia that single women are sexual temptresses, and that all men are supposedly incapable of controlling their sexual behavior.

If you are a single woman, you will not be invited over by married couples, if you so much say “Hello, nice weather” to a married man, his paranoid Christian wife will march right up and protectively drape her arm over his to send you the signal “back off hussy, he’s taken.”

The stereotypes about single women being overly sexed harlots (and ones who are particularly anxious to boink married men) exclude them.

(Link): The Hope Of The Pharisees by Ty Grigg (Re: Platonic Male Female Relationships)


    In the conversation about how men and women relate to one another in the church, our imagination for sin and disaster is much stronger than our imagination for God’s reconciling love and holiness. We are still taking our cues from the old age, not the new. The moral failure story triumphs over the transformation now available in the death and resurrection of Christ.

    If our vision for life in Christ is focused on protecting ourselves from external temptations to sin and our internal evil impulses, then by all means we should adopt the posture of the Pharisees, and defend against all threats – including relationships with the opposite gender.

    Continue reading

Married Father and Baptist Preacher J D Hall – Another Example of How Marriage and Parenthood Does Not Make a Person More Godly or Mature

Married Father and Baptist Preacher J D Hall – Another Example of How Marriage and Parenthood Does Not Make a Person More Godly or Mature

(There is an update at the bottom of this post).

This involves a lot of back story I don’t want to get into because this blog post would be ten pages long.

I am blogging this primarily for adult singles who have felt marginalized or hurt by Christian denominations or churches that treat adult singles as though they have cooties.

I have a somewhat different motivation for blogging about this than other blogs do. There were a few other blogs who addressed the child abuse aspect of the story, that we have an adult (Hall) badgering a teen kid (Braxton Caner) on the internet.

J D Hall is a Calvinist preacher with a blog called “Pulpit and Pen,” a Twitter account, and a group of fan boys who follow him around online who actually refer to themselves as “Pulpiteers.”

At one time, Hall’s groupies were using the #pulpiteer (or “pulpiteers”) hash to follow each other around Twitter. I’m not sure if they still use the “Pulpiteer” label or not. I will continue to refer to them as such.

This group, and a few other people, have a long standing hatred of another guy named Ergun Caner.

Continue reading

Women in Sao Paulo Must Provide Proof of Virginity to Be Hired as Teachers

Women in Sao Paulo Must Provide Proof of Virginity to Be Hired as Teachers

I’m over 40, still a virgin, because I wanted to wait ’til marriage to have sex but find myself still single. And yet even I, who would pass their stupid virginity tests should I take one, find this bizarre… (And how come the men applying for jobs don’t have to provide proof of virginity?)

Note that one woman, who is 27, said she felt “ashamed” to admit she was still a virgin at age 27 (she did not want to admit to a doctor she was still a virgin).

Lady, you should not feel ashamed for being a virgin at age 27, or 37, or 47, or 57, or 67 or until your death. You express your sexuality any damn way you please, and if that means choosing never to have sex, then that is your right.

And what about women who are not technical virgins because they were raped when younger? I wonder if this nation’s weird, sexist ruling didn’t take that into account? You’re not going to give a woman a job because some pervert raped her previously? Because that sounds like that would be the implication of this rule.

I’m also not clear why people in this country thought this was an appropriate rule? Is it a religious-based thing (is this a predominantly Roman Catholic influenced nation?), or are they just naturally sexist types, or what?

(Link): Anger in Brazil at obstetrics tests for jobseekers

    Aug 2014
    SAO PAULO — Women seeking education jobs in Brazil’s most populous state should not be required to submit to gynecological exams or prove their virginity in order to work, according to women’s rights advocates who denounced the practice on Friday.

    The education department of Sao Paulo state requires female prospective teachers to undergo a pap smear in order to prove they are free of a variety of cancers, or to present a doctor’s statement verifying they have not been sexually active. Until recently, it also required women to have a colposcopy, a type of visual examination used to detect disease.

    The department since at least 2012 has required the exams to show that candidates for long-term teaching positions are in good health and would not take extended or frequent absences to attend to health matters. Critics, however, decried it as an invasion of privacy.

    “It violates women’s rights. It’s very intimate information that she has the right to keep. It’s absurd to continue with these demands,” said Ana Paula de Oliveira Castro, a public defender of women’s issues in Sao Paulo.

    …The public management department for Sao Paulo said that all tests ordered follow the standards and recommendation of the country’s Health Ministry for public servants as well as state law.

    ….While the department requires other health exams, such as a mammography for women and a prostate test for men older than 40, the gynecological exams were criticized as especially invasive.

    The issue came to light this week after a news site interviewed a 27-year-old woman who said she was ashamed to ask a doctor for a note declaring she was still a virgin to escape the other tests.

    Last year, a similar incident sparked anger in the state of Bahia, in northeastern Brazil, when female candidates for police jobs were asked to take the tests or prove their hymens were not torn. The government subsequently asked that such tests be eliminated.

BTW – sometimes a woman can be a virgin and STILL have a torn hymen. Sex is not the only physical action that can cause a hymen to break, DERP. Idiots.

This goes along with ignorance about BCPs – birth control pills – many conservatives (and I am one myself, but regardless, a lot of conservatives) and many Christians, wrongly assume the ONLY reason women take BCPs is because they are having sex and trying to avoid getting pregnant. WRONG.

There are other, non-sex related, health reasons, why a woman might need to take BCP – sex has nothing to do with it. Men can be so stupid about women, women’s bodies and women’s sexuality sometimes.

(Link): Islamic Group ISIS Stones Women To Death For Not Being Virgins

(Link): No Christians and Churches Do Not Idolize Virginity and Sexual Purity – Christians Attack and Criticize Virginity Sexual Purity Celibacy / Virginity Sexual Purity Not An Idol

(Link): Christian School Fires Single Woman For Having PreMarital Sex But Offers Her Job to Her Single Boyfriend Who They Know Had PreMarital Sex Too (and similar news stories – Re Christian Employers and Sex)

(Link): I Shouldn’t Need An Excuse To Be A Virgin – (Secular Editorial Defends Virginity – More Rare Than a Unicorn Sighting)

(Link): An Open Letter to Male Virgins by Anna Broadway

Married Couple Pays Surrogate to Have Baby, They Keep The Healthy Daughter But Refuse the Down Syndrome One – Also: Cops: the Dad is a Convicted Pedo

Married Couple Pays Surrogate to Have Baby, They Keep The Healthy Daughter But Refuse the Down Syndrome One – Also: Cops: the Dad is a Convicted Pedo

And many conservative Christians routinely say or assume that marriage makes a person godly, mature, more loving, and immune from sexual sin, and that you have to be perfect and godly to even merit a spouse to start with (God doesn’t send imperfect people spouses, they say).

Hmm. Then how would Christians explain this selfish married couple who
1. won’t accept the Down’s Syndrome twin from the surrogate
2. the father is a convicted kid-diddler (pedophile)?

How is it that God rewards child molesters with spouses, but not law abiding, non-perverted singles?

(Link): Australian father accused of abandoning baby boy born to Thai surrogate mother because he had Down Syndrome ‘was jailed for sexual assault on a child under 13′

(Link): Australia investigates ‘paedophile’ father in Thai baby scandal

    Aug 6, 2014

    Australian authorities were Wednesday investigating the father at the centre of a Thai surrogate baby scandal who was exposed as a convicted paedophile, to determine whether his young daughter is at risk.

    The man, from Bunbury south of Perth, sparked global controversy for apparently abandoning his Down’s syndrome baby boy, Gammy, in Thailand and taking only his healthy twin sister back home, although he and his wife dispute the circumstances.

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Stop Telling Women Their Most Valuable Asset Is Their Youth (From Time)

Stop Telling Women Their Most Valuable Asset Is Their Youth

This was written in response to G. Rivera’s comments that women should marry young, or not waste their youth married to losers on trial marriages or whatever.

(Link): Stop Telling Women Their Most Valuable Asset Is Their Youth

    by J. Bennett

    Why, in an era when we are succeeding in so many ways, do we buy into sexist tropes about aging?

    …. Appearing on FOX to discuss the piece, Geraldo Rivera noted, to stunned female hosts, that what a woman brings to a marriage “more than anything else” is “her youth.”

    Her youth?

    Yes, “her youth,​” ​Geraldo continued. Because a woman’s youth, he explained, “is a fragile and diminishing resource.”

    Geraldo’s logic went like this: If a woman were to invest two precious years into ​a beta-marriage, and then, God forbid, have her man reject her (his words, not mine), she’ll have wasted her most valuable asset. The thing that is, obviously, going to determine not just whether a woman will have a family, but whether she’ll have a husband, and live happily ever after, at all.

    …But Geraldo’s sin was not simply that what he said was impolitic. It’s that he put bluntly one of the most insidious and persistent smears: that women come with an expiration date.

    ​It’s a concept that is still pounded into us at every turn, from media to pop culture–and not just by septuagenarian TV personalities.

    It is there, almost tauntingly, in a recent article in Esquire, which seemed to bask in its own generosity by proclaiming that a woman could still be hot at 42–as if that were a reason to reconsider their value. It’s there in the endless media blitz by Susan Patton, the “Princeton Mom,” who’s managed to create a “mini empire,“as Salon recently put it, from “one crazy op-ed” about how women need to hurry up and find a man.

    …The thing is, reality no longer conforms to those old tropes. Women now get the majority of college degrees. We have careers. We are living longer than ever. We can freeze our eggs to buy us biological time.

    And yet our conception of what makes a woman desirable and valuable in society hasn’t caught up. From every angle, we continue to hear that we need to “rush.” That we should make it easier and more comfortable for the men around us. That our youth — not necessarily even our fertility — is our most valuable asset.

((click here to read the rest))
Related posts:

(Link): Obnoxious, Condescending, Sexist, Pervy Esquire Editorial by 50-Something Year Old Man: “In Praise of 42 Year Old Women” – Condescendingly Reassures 40 Something Women He’d Sex Them Up

(Link): College Women, Don’t Listen to Marriage Concern Trolls

(Link): Men Become ‘Invisible’ And Lose Sex Appeal At 39 – Article from Daily Caller

(Link): Follow Up Part 2 – Reactions by Other Writers to Sexist, Condescending 50 Something Men Who Think They Are Final Arbiters of If Women Are Attractive Past Age of 40 (Re: Esquire Editorial by Junod)

(Link): Creepy, wrong, immature and pathetic: older men chasing after much younger women

(Link): The Annoying, Weird, Sexist Preoccupation by Christian Males with Female Looks and Sexuality

(Link): Ryan Gosling and Shirtless, Buff Cowboy Photos on Social Media – Yes, Women Are Visually Stimulated and Visually Oriented (Part 2)

(Link): Online Dating: Women Want Younger Men (article)


Mainstream Media Thinks Virginity is a Shameful Status, Not a Sacred Choice by K. Yoder

Mainstream Media Thinks Virginity is a Shameful Status, Not a Sacred Choice

Some of the criticisms the author of this piece levels at secular culture should also be applied to Christian culture – Christians too uphold the stereotypes that one does not become a full fledged adult until one gets married and has sex. Hollywood just ditches the “get married first” aspect and goes right to the sex, but neither view is biblical, true, or right.

(Link) Mainstream Media Thinks Virginity is a Shameful Status, Not a Sacred Choice by K Yoder

    SPECIES: The Virgin (Sexus Nontilnuptials)

    PREDATOR: The Media (Sexus Perpetual Obsessicus)

    METHOD OF ATTACK: Exploitation and Extinction

    Peer through a leafy curtain deep in the Amazon and you might just catch a glimpse of an elusive specimen: “the virgin.”

    Though rare, this foreign species manages to survive in some of the world’s most hostile ecosystems, constantly threatened by its natural enemy, the media. The media preys upon virgins for profit and mere entertainment – to dismiss them as soon as they conform.

    Seen through the field glasses of Hollywood’s “Very Good Girls,” or MTV’s “Virgin Territory,” the virgin differs from “the human.” Humans “come-of-age” and “find themselves.” Virgins resist the examples of oversexed celebrities and an instant gratification culture – enhancing their mysterious allure, and making them just plain weird.

    Here are the 10 ways media treat virgins as a foreign species:

    1. Virgins Never Grow-Up

    “Very Good Girls” stars Dakota Fanning and Elizabeth Olsen as best friends who make a pact to lose their virginity before heading off to college. Opening in theaters July 25, the film bills itself (with some help from the media) as a “coming-of-age” story. As the trailer revealed: “When we lose our innocence, we have to find ourselves” – sounds like a story that every adult can relate to (right?).

    “It’s a part of life,” Fanning said in an interview after stripping for her first sex scene. Boyd Holbrook, who played her partner, emphasized, “What this film’s about is going into life, this first sexual experience.”

    The media provided back-up. “It’s this coming-of-age story of two young girls” that’s “dealing with those things that are universal, that we all deal with: friendship, family, death, love, heartbreak,” HuffPost Live Host Alyona Minkovski gushed during an interview with the writer and director, Naomi Foner.

    Similarly, Wall Street Journal Live Anchor Tanya Rivero praised the “beautiful film.” “You explore that time in a young woman’s life, between girlhood and becoming a woman,” she told Foner. “As a woman, I identified so closely with the characters and that period in life.”

    Even Foner described her characters as, “serious, interesting, committed girls who are trying to make some decisions about how they become women.” Women will flock to see the film, she added, because they “don’t often see themselves with any reality on screen.”

    Missing is any acknowledgement that girls may become women without the sex act, or that it just might be a good idea wait until marriage.

    2. Virgins Occupy a Different Habitat

    …But how exactly surprising?

    Fox News’ Dr. Keith Ablow criticized how the show, “turns a personal life event into profit” while Variety’s Brian Lowry warned in his review that, “some networks will pimp kids out — under cover of sex education — to score ratings.”

    Continue reading

Adult Singleness and Virginity Ridiculed by Preacher Mark Driscoll from 2000 – and anti Homosexual and Sexist Rhetoric ( Re Driscoll Rant known as Pussified Nation )

Adult Singleness and Virginity Ridiculed by Preacher Mark Driscoll from 2000 – and anti Homosexual and Sexist Rhetoric

More anti-singlness and anti-virginity commentary from perverted, sexist douche bag and pastor Mark Driscoll has come to light. I have blogged about this creep before (see links at the conclusion of this post for more).

I am not a fan of tip toeing around people’s feelings and the extreme political correctness in today’s culture, (as I wrote of in a (Link): previous blog post here), but, I am not a supporter of this other extreme, the one Driscoll presents in the post I excerpt below.

It’s one thing to speak your mind – in a firm but respectful way, even if the majority of popular culture does not like your beliefs – but Driscoll seems to go out of his way to be unnecessarily rude, condescending, and hateful, or as obnoxious as he can be.

In the year 2000, Neo-Calvinist preacher Mark Driscoll, writing under the name “William Wallace II,” I think, wrote a bunch of inflammatory commentary on his church’s forum “Midrash.” In a book he wrote, Driscoll admitted to posting as “William Wallace II” on that forum (some sites linked to below have screen captures taken from online versions of the book that you can view).

In a series of very long posts, Driscoll ranted against women, feminists, homosexuals, men who are not manly-man enough in his view, and all this has drawn the ire and attention of many netizens after this was blogged about recently.

However, the portion of Driscoll’s post that caught my eye seems to subtly mock or ridicule adult singleness, singles ministries, and adult virginity.

Before I get to that, I wanted to mention this:

According to one source ((Link): source) in a Tweet:

    Driscoll through Wallace says women need a man to help them select a husband (p. 78). Eastern culture > Biblical example incl Ruth, then.

As I replied on Twtter in regards to that view by Driscoll:

    I’m a never married lady over 40, would still like to marry some day – Driscoll can eat my shorts

Yes, Driscoll can take his outdated, sexist views about single women and cram them up his butt.

There was also this (Willam Wallace parody account is quoting Driscoll (Link): Source):

Returning once more to the long rant by Driscoll:

(Link): Mark Driscoll’s Pussified Nation… – Matthew Paul Turner’s blog -
If Turner’s blog becomes unavailable for viewing (which it did earlier today apparently due to a stampede of traffic), you can read the Driscoll penned posts here:
(Link): Posts by Driscoll

Here are excerpts of what Driscoll wrote in 2000, under the name “William Wallace II” - with comments by me below this long excerpt (and additional links by other people about this Driscoll rant):

    We live in a completely pussified nation.

    We could get every man, real man as opposed to pussified James Dobson knock-off crying Promise Keeping homoerotic worship loving mama’s boy sensitive emasculated neutered exact male replica evangellyfish, and have a conference in a phone booth.

    It all began with Adam, the first of the pussified nation, who kept his mouth shut and watched everything fall headlong down the slippery slide of hell/feminism when he shut his the slippery slide of hell/feminism when he shut his mouth and listened to his wife who thought Satan was a good theologian when he should have lead her and exercised his delegated authority as king of the planet.

    As a result, he was cursed for listening to his wife and every man since has been his pussified sit quietly by and watch a nation of men be raised by bitter penis envying burned feministed single mothers who make sure that Johnny grows up to be a very nice woman who sits down to pee.

    Continue reading

Another cruddy Christian “Have We Made an Idol Out of Sexual Purity?” editorial (this time, from Relevant magazine) – And An Analogy For Married Christians Who Don’t Get It

Another cruddy Christian “Have We Made an Idol Out of Sexual Purity?” editorial (this time, from Relevant magazine) – And An Analogy For Married Christians Who Don’t Get It

The analogy is way, way down the page. I might put it in a separate post in the future.

First, a word about terminology. This is a somewhat minor point I make in passing, but it’s recurrent on various Christian blogs I visit, it drives me nuts, so I wanted to point it out.

Other Christians are very confused about the phrase “sexual purity.” They want to argue that “sexual purity” is not the same thing as “virginity,” but in articles like this one I link to below, they go on to equate “sexual purity” to virginity themselves.

The lady who wrote the following insists that sexual purity is not the same thing as virginity, or should not be thought of as such, but then says that you are not damaged goods, or your sexual purity is not lost, over a single act (ie, having sex, ie, which is defined as, or understood as, losing your virginity prior to marriage).

So… authors like this one argues ( the symbol != is computer coding / scripting language for “is not equal to”),

sexual purity != virginity
But that
sexual purity = virginity

Christian authors who are trying to say that virginity is not all that important in the end scheme of things cannot themselves even stay consistent on the point of whether or not to consider
virginity = sexual purity (or as a sub-set of).

They flip flop on this point a lot. If you don’t believe that sexual purity = virginity, why bother lovingly patting the heads of fornicators to reassure them that losing one’s virginity before marriage is nothing to feel ashamed about?

Why not just write a big old editorial denying that sexual purity is the same thing as staying a virgin until marriage, or why not try to argue that the Bible does not prohibit pre-marital boinking?

The link to the odious editorial by a Christian publication (I have additional comments below the long excerpt):
(Link): Have We Made an Idol Out of Sexual Purity? Why purity is so much more than virginity. BY DEBRA K FILETA


    If you grew up in church, you’ve likely heard one of these horrific analogies somewhere along the way:

    Your sexual purity, once it’s given away is like…

    “Tape that’s lost it’s stickiness.”

    “Paper that’s been torn.”

    “Gum that’s been chewed.”

    “A gift that’s been unwrapped.”

    While I get the mentality behind these messages, my problem with these analogies, and in fact, this entire discussion, is that it presents “purity” as a one-dimensional physical act.

    First you have it, then you don’t. Vanished. Gone. Over. Done with. In a blink of an eye, the prospect of being “pure” and holy has been wiped away.

    This mentality is so dangerous because it fools us into believing that our entire worth as believers and as “eligible” bachelors/bachelorettes is wrapped up on this one, single part of who we are.

    Please don’t misunderstand, I believe it is important to honor God with our bodies, but since when did our holiness have anything to do with who we are, instead of everything to do with who Christ is?

I left a few comments on that page, including:

    christianpundit commented…

    No, Christians have not made an idol out of sexual purity, not even when using analogies about chewed up gum and so forth. I’m over 40 years of age, still a virgin, because I was waiting until marriage to have sex but am still single.

    In the past several years, Christians (seemingly influenced by secular feminists and “slut shaming” rhetoric) have been criticizing virginity, virgins, and celibacy and mocking these concepts and saying they are unimportant.

    We’ve now arrived at a situation where Christians (and Non Christians) demand and expect everyone to respect all forms of sexual behavior and sexual expression EXCEPT FOR virginity and celibacy.

    Adult singleness is also under attack, from everyone from Al Mohler (who slams singleness in his interviews) to guys like pastor Mark Driscoll who blogs the unbiblical view that single people cannot and should not serve as preachers.

    Driscoll also wrongly teaches in one of his blog posts that older, adult celibate adults lack sex drives because God supposedly, magically removed their sex drive (this is false; single adults over 30 still experience sexual desire).

    Further, Driscoll holds the unbiblical, wacko strange view that if a person is still single over 30, that God has destined them for singleness, and at that, to martyr them off for spreading the Gospel in some deep jungle, in some remote nation. None of this is supported in the Bible.

    Christians are attacking singleness, virginity, and celibacy; they are most certainly NOT making an idol out of any of these things, and I wish Christian bloggers, magazines, and authors would stop arguing otherwise.

    Continue reading

Why Singles Belong in Church Leadership by L. Ferguson

Why Singles Belong in Church Leadership

(Link): Why Singles Belong in Church Leadership


    Unmarried ministers offer a unique understanding of devotion to Christ alone.

    by Lore Ferguson, guest writer

    Each time I read a well-intentioned article on how to make the most of your single years, I scan down to the author’s bio and often discover that, sure enough, he’s married to his college sweetheart, pulling advice from a brief period of singleness years ago.

    Even at 33, I’m a spring chicken to some of the seasoned single men and women before me.

    These Christians have spent their lives burning with passion, unmet desires, or unrequited love, or have committed to a life of celibacy.

    These are the clouds of witnesses I look to for wisdom in issues of singleness—not the well-meaning, but hollow three-points and a poem professor with his winsome wife and four little ones. What do I know of his life?

    The hardships of parenting, husbanding, pastoring, teaching, ministering? But what does he know of mine?

    If the life of a single Christian, as Paul admonished, is to be undistracted by the world, concerned with the things of the Lord, then unmarried ministers have a unique calling indeed. And it is one the church ought not ignore — or usurp.

    Where I live, in the Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex, young marriages are common. Younger than the national average at least. Yet few single men and women are involved in ministry.

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Our sex-obsessed culture is turning men into pigs By Naomi Schaefer Riley

Our sex-obsessed culture is turning men into pigs By Naomi Schaefer Riley

I do not know what Ms. Riley’s religious views are, or if she is a theist or not. But a lot of what she writes here can apply to Christian culture.

A preface: I know that not all men are sex-obsessed pigs (so if you’re wanting to sign up for this blog and leave a post about it, don’t bother), but I do think a huge percentage of men are these days.

I also think a large percentage of American men have been sex obsessed pigs for decades, due to a combination of factors, including, but not limited to, society telling men that the more women they have sex with, the more masculine they are. So, men grow up thinking it’s an expectation, proof of, or demonstration, of manliness if they boink around with the ladies.

Churches and Christian culture also buy into this mentality, with their own spin on it – that only “real” men are married and having lots of sex (and apparently, according to Rev Mark Driscoll, lots of kinky sex, not just vanilla sex).

Maybe if secular culture and Christians stopped upholding sexual experiences / marriages as rites of passage into adulthood, that would take pressure off people from fornication, from marrying too young, or from marrying the wrong person.

By the way, women are extremely visually oriented… one of the pigs mentioned in this article (who is around 51, 52 years old) was judging his 55 year old female lover as having a “wrinkled” body – most 50 something men are not prizes, either, in the physical attractiveness department. I don’t think idiots like him realize women are judging him for his looks, too.

(Link): Our sex-obsessed culture is turning men into pigs By Naomi Schaefer Riley


    These men and their attitudes about women and sex are not as unusual as we’d like to think. Their actions are the crude but inevitable consequence of the way we have come to view sex now — as something public and ordinary, something to be measured regularly and something that is ultimately only about individuals and their peculiar preferences. If men and women are in relationships just to have a good time, then why shouldn’t they “tell each other how they really feel.”

    Of course, these are the kind of attitudes that breed not gentlemen but something else entirely. Oink Oink.


(Link): Pouty Husband Sends Wife Spreadsheet Detailing Sex-Life Dissatisfaction

(Link): Bitter, Frustrated 22 Year Old Male Virgin and Member of Men’s Rights / PUA Groups Kills Several Women Because He Couldn’t Get Dates – what an entitled sexist doof

(Link): When Women Wanted Sex Much More Than Men – and how the stereotype flipped

(Link): Follow Up Part 2 – Reactions by Other Writers to Sexist, Condescending 50 Something Men Who Think They Are Final Arbiters of If Women Are Attractive Past Age of 40 (Re: Esquire Editorial by Junod)

(Link): Women Judging Male Physical Appearance – Body Fat Percentages

(Link): Christian Gender and Sex Stereotypes Act as Obstacles to Christian Singles Who Want to Get Married (Not All Men Are Obsessed with Sex)

(Link): Christian Stereotypes About Female Sexuality : All Unmarried Women Are Supposedly Hyper Sexed Harlots – But All Married Ones are Supposedly Frigid or Totally Uninterested in Sex

(Link): How Christians Have Failed on Teaching Maturity and Morality Vis A Vis Marriage / Parenthood – Used as Markers of Maturity Or Assumed to be Sanctifiers – Also: More Hypocrisy – Christians Teach You Need A Spouse to Be Purified, But Also Teach God Won’t Send You a Spouse Until You Become Purified

(Link): Preacher Mark Driscoll Was Not A Virgin When He Got Married – He Admitted So In Book and Blog

(Link): Hypocrisy of Left Wingers and Atheists and the #NotAll Hash Tag or Rhetoric

Why is the childfree singleton a curiosity? by V. Blackburn

Why is the childfree singleton a curiosity? by V Blackburn

(Link): Why is the childfree singleton a curiosity? by V. Blackburn


    Asked (I very much suspect not for the first time) why she never married or had children she replied that she never found anyone to wind her biological clock. Amen to that. I too never married and remained childfree and can testify that you do not know what it is to be patronised until you are a single lady of a certain age.

    I have had strangers, and I am not exaggerating here, who within five minutes of meeting me have demanded to know why I never married. Just what, pray tell, does it have to do with them? On another occasion some bloke I barely knew said and I quote directly: “But you’re lovely. I can’t believe you never married,” as if my single status didn’t actually have anything to do with my own choices.

    As it happens there were a couple of near misses but they would have been complete disasters if we’d made it to the altar. Not everyone gets married. Simple as that.

    … Society has always been deeply suspicious of single women – 500 years ago the unlucky ones got burnt as witches – because we seem to be defying what the world thinks is our biological destiny, namely having a husband and child.

    People feel apprehensive about women who don’t conform to that. “Don’t you like children?” is another one I’ve heard more than once. Of course I do. I have two lovely nephews and three delightful godsons, to whom I am devoted but that doesn’t mean I want a child of my own.

(((click here to read the rest)))
Related posts:

(Link): Southern Baptist’s New Sexist “Biblical Woman” Site – Attitudes in Total Face Palm of a Site One Reason Among Many This Unmarried and Childless Woman Is Saying Toodle-Oo to Christianity

(Link): Parenthood Does Not Make People More Loving Mature Godly Ethical Caring or Responsible (One Stop Thread)

(Link): Why all the articles about being Child Free? On Being Childfree or Childless – as a Conservative / Right Wing / Christian

(Link): Are Marriage and Family A Woman’s Highest Calling? by Marcia Wolf – and other links that address the Christian fallacy that a woman’s most godly or only proper role is as wife and mother

(Link): Never Married Christians Over Age 35 who are childless Are More Ignored Than Divorced or Infertile People or Single Parents

(Link): The Irrelevancy To Single or Childless or Childfree Christian Women of Biblical Gender Complementarian Roles / Biblical Womanhood Teachings

(Link): The Fruitful Callings of the Childless By Choice (editorial)

(Link): Misapplication of Biblical Verses About Fertility (also mentions early marriage) – a paper by J. McKeown

(Link): Christian Patriarchy Group: God Demands You Marry and Have Babies to Defeat Paganism and Satan. Singles and the Childless Worthless (in this worldview).

(Link): My Secret Grief. Over 35, Single and Childless by Melanie Notkin

(Link): Pope Francis Is Wrong About My Child-Free Life by Amanda Marcotte

(Link): Hey, Pope Francis: Some people would rather raise pets than children by C. Hall

(Link): More Criticisms of the Pope’s Anti Childless Anti Childfree Comments