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by N. Cottrell / Ally Spotts
Here are a few items from the list:
1. Please don’t tell us that as soon as we become “content” being single, we’ll meet “the one.” It sounds nice, and I get the point, but I know plenty of people who have gotten married before achieving perfect contentedness with single life. Not to mention, I’ve been content being single for awhile now – and I’m starting to wonder if it isn’t precisely this attitude which sometimes keeps us stuck.
2. Please don’t stop inviting us just because we’re single. We get it. You’re “married” now or whatever. But you’re still you. And we still want to be friends. Fifth wheel. Ninth wheel. 301st wheel. Whatever. We’re used to it. Just invite us to come.
3. Please don’t tell us how “easy” we have it being single. There might be some truth to that statement, but you know what? We get this a lot. And don’t forget that when life gets rough you have someone to share the load with you. Remember to be grateful for that.
4. Please don’t act like, since you’re married, you have it all figured out. Especially if you never dated much before you found your husband. Especially if the last time you dated, your age ended in “teen” (thank you, Shannon). Yes, your story is a beautiful story, and we love to hear you tell it. But we are living out our own beautiful story, and it’s okay that it doesn’t look like yours.
9. Please don’t tell us that if only we did/said/wore/ [fill-in-the-blank] then we’d be sure to find a husband. You’re over-simplifying and you’re asking us to be someone we’re not. More often than not, we’ll probably do the thing you told us to do and end up attracting someone who doesn’t fit with us at all.
10. Please don’t tell us that we must have something else that “God wants to teach us” before we can get married. Marriage is not the prize you earn when you learn everything God has to teach you. I’m sure God has more that he wants to teach me. And he probably has some things he still wants to teach you, too.
11. Please don’t ask us why we are still single. Like we have an answer to that question. And if we did, we’d probably be working through whatever it was, so we could join the ranks of married folks like you.