For older never married Christians – ‘Single in the Church’

Here’s an excellent article for older, never married Christians (unfortunately it is in PDF format. I prefer HTML pages):

(Link): Single in the Church – Eunuchs in the Kingdom, by Clyde Ervine (PDF)

One of the things I like about this article is that Mr. Ervine points out something I’ve noticed for a long time now: almost all material for single Christians is directed at divorced people, or for 20-somethings  who are assumed will get married at one point, but there is hardly any material, support, encouragement for those of us (like me) who are over 40, who wanted to be married, but who have never been married (and may never be married). Many churches refuse to even acknowledge the existence of people such as me, or they don’t ever stop to consider some may never marry.

5 thoughts on “For older never married Christians – ‘Single in the Church’”

  1. I am a Born-Again Christian man, age 61, but look 51! I have never-married, nor have I ever had any children. I come from a dysfunctional family, in which my father was an alcoholic, and my mother had lifelong mental health illnesses. My sister is a lesbian nurse, and an alcoholic. My brother is an alcoholic. I will not go near alcohol. I wanted to say that life alone is, indeed, quite lonely, and there are times when I’ve thought to the Lord, how wonderful would it be sometimes to have a very-best friend, that being a Christian wife. I know why I haven’t married, and it’s due to the ramifications of growing up in my dysfunctional home. Sometimes it takes decades of work by the Lord in changing one to become more normal. That’s all I wanted to say.

  2. You know, I have found that many people are even more comfortable with the topic of death than they are with lifelong singlehood and celibacy. They can discuss death…but if ever the possibility of someone not getting married comes up, you hear a crowd of people armed with lines of arguments against it – even if it’s a life that’s being chosen! I think the article you’ve posted will help other singles who are in the situation you describe. I don’t know if you are interested, but I posted an article on this topic that I found very helpful. I posted it in case anyone out there would be searching for just such an article, so if you’d like, I’ll share it with you here. God bless your journey!

    1. Thanks so much for the post and the input.

      I always wanted to be married and still do, but it has not happened, and I have no idea why not. I have many other posts at this blog about the topic.

      I was told when I was a teen that if I prayed and trusted in God for a spouse, it would happen, but it has not – so I feel let down, to put it mildly. I’m tired of the cliches and insulting attitudes I get as someone who is over 40 and never married, mostly from other Christians, but Non Christians can also be as bad.

      I’ve not been able to find a church that realizes that older never married people exist. Everything they do is for married people with kids.

      1. I can relate – I feel unsure right now, but I always had two big hopes, to find God and to find a soul mate – well, I am more than blessed to have found Christ, but we’ll see what God has in store for the rest. I think it’s good that you post – I think sometimes you never know whom you help out, who may come across some of your posts and find help or comfort.

        1. I probably come across as cranky at this blog. I kind of use it for myself, to rant when I feel upset, or just to post links about singleness I find.

          If other people find it beneficial, that’s good – I did get very short with some lady who left a post here a few months ago, wanting to bicker with me over a post I made about a TV pastor (she was not happy with my criticism of that pastor).

          I’m really not up to arguing with people at this blog, I’d rather hear from people who agree or who are going through similar experiences as mine.

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