Sex and Never Married Single Christians / Virginity Virgin
(Link): No One Wants to Talk About It
By Julia DuinWhy are evangelical singles sleeping around?
Three decades later, virginity is under such withering attack, you would think it was child abuse. It is associated with words such as ‘frigid,’ ‘prideful,’ ‘judgmental’ and ‘holier-than-thou.’ “Virginity” was on the Washington Post Outlook section’s 2010 list of the year’s top 13 things to “throw out.” There are now books out with titles like “The Purity Myth: How America’s Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women” by Jessica Valenti.
….The nay-sayers seem unusually ferocious these days in their zeal against the ideal of virginity. I am surprised at how would-be defenders in the religious community are doing such a poor job of striking back.
In January, Christianity Today’s women’s blog, Hermeneutics, reviewed WeWaited.com, a singles site for virgins seeking other virgins. The writer suggested the idea was unrealistic, moralistic and “poses problems” in terms of exalting a potential partner’s virginity rather than his or her Christian commitment. Yet, now as in previous eras, virginity is a major test of one’s Christian commitment.
Agree with the Bible or not, Scripture is clear that sex is to be abstained outside of marriage. It is the job of the church – likewise the mosque and temple and other traditions that at least on paper aspire to purity at the marriage altar – to hold the line. The church has surrendered its teachings on chastity, so it’s no wonder that even among the devout, the virginity percentages are dismal.
The most recent studies conducted by National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health in 2009 and a 2010 study of Southern Baptist young adults from Texas, both estimate the population of non-virgins in churches as about 80 percent. That is four out of five kids in the typical church-going youth group.
….Despite abstinence rings and pledges, the evangelical abstinence subculture is not sticking. Why? There is no support for it.
….We tend to hear more on marrying early, meaning that if the highly sexed cannot stay off the cot, at least tie the knot. No one credits the abstinent with trying to follow some very unpopular precepts.
Virginity may not say much about sexual compatibility, but it does say a lot about character.
This past spring in Touchstone, a conservative Christian publication, Russell Moore, a Southern Baptist minister who is dean of Southern Seminary’s School of Theology in Louisville, penned “Like, A Virgin?”
His essay criticized a chaste female who wanted her husband to be a virgin like she is. He hinted she was being unrealistic and judgmental for judging a potential mate on his sexual history rather than his Christian commitment.
This hapless woman resisted the spirit of the age and yet, her Christian leader denigrated her values. So much for seeking out a pastor’s advice.
….I call it the discouragement of the virtuous; the wearing down of the virgins in our midst who are told non-stop how old-fashioned and out-of-step they are.
Related posts this blog:
(Link): Link Round Up: Christian gender double standards on sexual purity, More Craptastic Relationship, Sex, Marriage Advice by Christians for Singles, Lousy and Abusive Mothers, Roman Catholics on Priest Celibacy, Male Fertility – Other Topics