Bay-Bees – Have them, have lots of them and NOW, no matter what!, say some Christians Please see Part 2 of This Post
I was watching Pat Robertson today – by the way, I don’t always mean to single this guy out. A lot of his views about marriage, gender roles, babies, and other issues are similar to those of other male preachers and Christian talking heads.
Sooo. On a previous broadcast, Pat Robertson advised his Christian viewers to “out breed” their “opponents” (by which he meant Muslims, but I also suspect he was thinking of atheists, liberals, and other groups). You can read this post here at this blog for more about that.
Based on figures I have seen in books and blogs, currently about 50% of the American population is unmarried – this is also true of conservative Christians, 50% are unmarried. This includes never married, divorced, widowed.
It seems strange to me that Robertson and other Christian spokespersons and preachers keep insisting that Christians have more kids. About 20% of married couples do not have children, and who knows why that is. Maybe they have infertility issues, don’t want any, or can’t afford one.
When about 50% of American Christians are single, you’re asking the other 50% to crank out a lot of kids, and some of those 50% might be people over 40, 50, or 60 and don’t have the physical ability, energy, or health to keep up with a kid.
Your 50% of unmarried people technically are not supposed to be having sex. I know it’s popular to question this in some quarters – some Christians on other blogs actually argue that the Bible, and God, are fine and hunky-dory with fornication (sexual activity outside of marriage).
But no, God is not hunky-dory and okay with fornication- that fact is alluded to in many verses. In the Old Testament days, if a woman was not a virgin on her wedding night, she was to be stoned to death, if I recall correctly. She had to bring proof to the priests, via stained bridal sheets (sorry to be a bit crass, but it’s in the Scriptures), that she was a virgin on her wedding night, should her new husband claim she was not.
Obviously, since Christ, God has dropped the “stone her to death” routine, or whatever the penalty was at the time, but the fact that God called for a severe penalty at some point in history for fornication should be a huge CLUE that He is not “okay” with sex outside of marriage – HELLO.
I just find it really insulting, stupid, or unrealistic that some conservative Christians are bemoaning and fretting the decline of child birth among Christians. I can’t quite articulate it.
Maybe it’s because I’m over 40 years old and have never been married but wanted to be married that I find this annoying – that, and I also don’t think it’s anyone’s place to tell married couples when or how to have a baby. The Bible does not COMMAND all married couples to breed like rabbits, the “be fruitful” comment aside – I have never understood that “be fruitful” comment to be an iron-clad COMMANDMENT to all married couples forever, that they MUST follow or be damned by God.
These weenie TV preachers are asking Christian women to pop out more babies. I couldn’t pop out more kids if I wanted to, unless I went against biblical teachings about fornication and had a kid out of wedlock. Is that what the Pat Robertsons of the nation really want?
My other issue with the baby-mania I see occasionally brought up in Christian shows or blogs: they will tell younger Christians to have kids right away, even if they are not financially set to do so.
If you are in your 20s or even early 30s, ignore these people!
If you cannot financially afford kids and don’t feel right or secure in having them yet, then do not.
Let me tell you, if you have a baby and fall on hard economic times, Pat Robertson will not send you a check for $100,000 to help cover baby expenses.
Most Christians are dreadful about actually living out Christian teachings. I have seen this in my own life, and in testimonies by other Christian on other blogs.
Most of the time, when and if you approach another Christian, or a church, concerning emotional, practical, or financial help, they will refuse to help you!
When you are in need and hurting and approach your local church for help, you will most likely get lectured, judged, preached at, or ignored.
So if you are a young couple who just had a baby and don’t have money to buy formula, baby clothes, or diapers, and you approach your church for these staples, they will likely say NO.
There might be some churches that will help you. If you approach an older Christian woman at a church and tell her of your plight, she might go to Kroger’s for you and buy you a box of diapers, but from what I’ve seen in my own life and from other Christians, any overtures you need for help (diapers, money, rent money, food, shoes, a shoulder to cry on, whatever), will be met with indifference, lectures, criticisms, or a flat “no.”
Most Christians are not going to help you buy diapers, baby food, baby formula, baby clothes, a high chair, a car seat, or anything else.
Don’t give in to pressure by parents, Christian preachers or Christian authors to have a lot of babies if you are not ready for it.
These preachers are happy to lecture you to have ten babies, but when you need these same people to help you pay for diapers and baby food, they will turn you away. Taking care of any babies you have will fall almost entirely to you and you alone. These preachers want you to have 100 babies, but they don’t want any part in actually helping you raise them or pay for their needs.
Which is odder still, because most Christians are “pro life.” They will fight for the unborn, but for babies born to struggling Christian parents? I doubt it.
I’m not saying there are not ANY Christians who actually help people in need, but I’ve seen so many instances of Christians who refuse to provide for other people in need that it is NOT worth the risk to have a baby and hope that other Christians will help, if help is desired or needed.
And God stays quiet, too – when you pray and ask God to help pay your bills, your rent, to provide baby food, whatever you are praying for. Christians on TV like to call God “Jehovah Jireh, provider,” but in my own life, God’s answer has often been “No, I will not send or give you ‘x’.”
I’ve seen this phenomenon among other believers, too. They pray, pray, pray for financial help, a healing, whatever else, and God does not send them whatever it is they are praying for. So if you have a baby and need baby food, don’t expect to instantly get any baby food if you pray and ask for some.
You have to make choices in life that are safe and right FOR YOU. And if you don’t feel right or good about having children, then do not.