Part 2, The Parable of the Neglected Unmarried Christian
(Link): Part 1: The World Does Not Need Another Marriage Sermon
The end of Part 1 read:
While the conservative Christians remain fixated on giving yet more marriage sermons, and bemoaning the liberal attacks on “traditional families” and “traditional marriage” they continue to ignore the needs and problems and mere existence of people over the age of 30 who are not married or who have never been married.
–The Parable of the Neglected Unmarried Christian–
Jesus Christ told the story of the Good Samaritan. In that story, several people, including a priest (on his way to temple – “church” – services, I take it), walked on by the guy who was bloodied, beaten to a pulp, and on the ground and didn’t help the guy.
How many pastors and Christian organizations today keep on walking past the bloodied, bruised, hurting, scared, lonely, frustrated or confused, un-married adults over the age of 30, and do not stop to help them?
Cliches and platitudes, lectures, and un-solicited advice hurled at un-married Christians who desire marriage (such as “serve more!,” “read your Bible more!” “Jesus is all you need, He is sufficient!,” “be content in your singleness,” etc.) are not help, by the way. Nor are those approaches helpful.
Most of the Christians walk on by the bloodied, hurting older Christian singles (and other sorts of hurting Christians, such as those who are grieving over the death of a loved one) because they are in a rush to attend their church services to give (or to listen to) another sermon on marriage and parenting, or the threats of liberalism on “traditional family values and the American constitution.”
(Don’t forget the sermons about tithing and how to be financially successful, pastors love those too.)
So imagine that there is an un-married Christian who was attacked and left for dead on the side of the road, and she keeps getting passed by other Christians who notice her, but who do nothing to truly help.
To put another twist on this story, if we were running it parallel to that of Christ, who made the ‘much- hated- by- the- Jews’ Samaritan Guy the “hero” of His version of the story, it would probably be a homosexual, liberal, atheist, pot-smoking, long-haired Democrat who would stop and offer actual and practical assistance to the bloodied, wounded, un-married Christian on the side of the road.
Yes, contemporary, conservative Christianity’s greatest enemy would be the hero of this version of the Good Samaritan story, which most conservative, American Christians would likely identify as a homosexual, atheistic, Democrat (and, for those pastors still ten years or more behind culture trends, an enemy who also plays “Dungeons and Dragons” and reads “Harry Potter” books).
I can see that scenario happening.
I can totally see an evangelical Christian pausing to tell the wounded, and possibly dying, un-married Christian on the road side,
- “Lady, I’m sorry you’re hurting and beaten, but I’m on my way to baby sit in the church’s nursery and write another book about the importance of children and the horror of legalized abortion!
Children are so important to the church, more so than any hurting un-married adult.
Children are the future of America and the Christian church! They are our only hope for spreading the Gospel!
I’ve decided to ignore the Bible passages where Christ says that one’s spiritual family is to take precedence over blood relations, and the parts that talk about converting Non Christians outside my family. Who needs any of that?
The homosexuals and liberals are trying to destroy the traditional family and traditional marriage, and Muslims are out-breeding the Christians; that will never do.
I simply must care for Christian youth first and foremost and really shout about the urgent need for Christian pro-creation.
Wish you well, but I gotta go now!”
Next, I can see Southern Baptist president Al Mohler stopping for a bit, but only to offer absolutely no practical help to the injured, un-married Christian woman, but only to give her a condescending, judgmental lecture
(please click the “Read More” link to read the rest of the post):
- “Oh wow, sorry to see you’re banged up, Miss, but it’s your own fault. I’m sure you must have gotten 200,000 marriage proposals by the time you were 25 years old but turned every single one of them down!
You should have married by age 20 at the latest!
Either you snubbed a lot of proposals, or you are too bitter to attract a man, or you have “too much baggage.” Married people never have baggage, flaws, or make mistakes.
Or I bet you were too consumed with your career to put marriage on the front burner.
Being single past the age of 22 is a sin, and you deserve your plight now! It doesn’t matter that Jesus Christ died at age 33 with never having been married or had kids, that’s irrelevant!
So I’m not going to offer you any practical help. I’m too disgusted with you to even dial the 911 emergency number.
I need to write more blog pages telling Christian teens to marry by the time they are 19 years old, and tell Christian women to submit graciously to their husbands!
I’ll be on my way now. I have another lecture to give at a university on the evils of biblical gender egalitarianism, too. See ya!”
I can also picture well-meaning, too- perky and sun shiny, “Average Jane Christian” pausing only long enough to offer meaningless platitudes, insulting advice, to the beaten un-married person:
- “Well hey there! You look bad. Someone sure beat you up pretty good. Your nose looks broken.
You should be content in your singlessness!
Think about serving God more, and less about yourself!
I’m sure if you “serve” more, you will just happen to bump into the right guy!
Remember, Jesus is sufficient for you, and marriage isn’t all that great anyway! My husband can be a real jerk sometimes! A husband can’t meet all your emotional needs!
Oh hey, Jesus was single too, you know! And Paul. The apostle Paul was single.
Hey, have you thought of growing your hair out longer? You are sure to get a husband that way, men LOVE long hair!
Don’t forget that the Lord is your husband!
Stop feeling sorry for yourself! You could have life so much more worse! Stop the pity party.
I’m on my way with this food basket of rice to mail to starving, orphaned African children. They need my help and compassion more than you ever will. So good-bye now!”
And, should the nearly dead un-married Christian female on the roadside be approached by “Average Joe Christian,” here is what would happen:
- “Hey, I’m on my way to church to hang out with other married guys at the coffee bar and shoot the breeze about cage fighting.
I can’t tell underneath all the blood on your face from the beating you took from you attacker exactly what you look like, but here’s some advice for you, if you want to get married…
I am going to assume that you are hideous-looking, even though I can’t really make out what you look like. And fat. I’m going to assume you are fat.
The reason you are single is because you are ugly and fat.
You should start dieting, lose a lot of weight, wear make-up more often, and you must never, ever age. You can’t get wrinkles or anything.
And long hair! Men LOVE long hair, so grow your hair longer!
I would stay and talk longer, but Christian men and women cannot be platonic friends or help each other.
All the pastors and Christian dating advice blogs and books say that you un-married women are sexual temptresses.
If I’m alone with you for much longer, I know you will want to jump me, dis-robe me and make wild, passionate love to me.
Or my wife might start suspecting there’s something going on between us.
So I’ll just leave now.
But here’s a Christian pamphlet with Christian dieting and beauty tips I’ll leave before I go. Bye!”
Come to think of it, all those scenarios are played out all the time in Christian material (books, blogs, etc) for un-married Christians and in churches and in conversations between Christian singles who want marriage and married Christian people. It’s not just a parable, it’s daily reality for un-married Christians.
Oh, but I’m sorry! You don’t care or have time for any of this, because you are about to….
Order another self-help book about how to have a better marriage, donate rice to starving African orphans, or,
if you are a pastor, you’re about to pen another sermon about the “blessing of children,” or
how Christians can have better married sex lives, or how American Christian teenagers are being corrupted by liberals and Harry Potter books, or how liberals and homosexuals are out to destroy “traditional marriage and traditional and biblical family values.”