Fatherhood Not Quite the Producer of Manly, Mature, Godly Men Some Conservative Christians Make It Out To Be
And don’t even get me started on the Andrea Yates-type news stories about women who drown, shoot, stab, suffocate, neglect- to- the- point- of- starvation, or yes, even sexually molest their own children. There are volumes of those.
I am not against parents or parenting or their importance, but I am against some factions of conservative Christianity which has placed pro-creation / fatherhood / motherhood (and marriage) on a pedestal.
Here’s a news story about a woman who says fatherhood turned her husband into a perverted, violent person:
‘Cannibal cop’ breaks down as wife readies to testify against him – By BRUCE GOLDING, February 25, 2013
The URL is (I don’t want trackbacks to this page, if NY Post uses trackbacks):
Other points of interest:
The creepy guy in this story who fantasized about killing women acted like the sort of old-fashioned biblical gender complementarian John Piper would endorse: his wife said he would open doors for her, etc.
Also note that she met this guy, who she said at first seemed “nice,” on dating site “OK Cupid.”
And what did I just finish blogging about last week? Yep, this:
*(Not that I am opposed to dating sites, only to married Christians (and Non Christians) who keep pressuring their single friends to use them. Dating sites are not an instant fix for singlehood, folks.)
Excerpts from the NY Post story:
- Fatherhood brought out the worst in accused cannibal cop Gilberto Valle, who emotionally checked out of his marriage delved into dark worlds of sexual fantasy, his heartbroken wife told jurors today.
Valle’s been charged with planning to kidnap, torture, rape and eat women, so he could bring violent sexual fantasies to life. Mangan discovered Valle’s twisted fantasies on his computer.
“I just remember it was porn and it was disturbing. I know S&M is popular with `Fifty Shades of Gray’ but this seemed different,” she said of the kinky best-seller. “The girl on the front page was dead. “
Mangan revealed the once-happy couple met through the dating Web site OKCupid.com.
“He was nice,” said Mangan. “He opened doors and pulled out chairs.”
But that all changed when she got pregnant, the wife said.
“I had a complicated pregnancy toward the end and had to go to the hospital,” she said. “I remember my friends visiting more than him.” When baby Josephine was born less than a year ago, Valle emotionally vanished. “It’s like he was gone,” said Mangan, a special education teacher.
Another site carrying a story about this guy:
New York ‘cannibal’ cop watched death porn: wife
So this guy uses a dating site, finds his future wife that way, they have a kid together, and she says fatherhood pushed him over the edge, or changed him in some way, for the worse. We seldom hear this kind of thing from the “get married and be fruitful and multiply” nuts(*).
*(“Nuts” meaning the Christians and other religious groups who make marriage and/or parenting requisite for every one, or for everyone in their group, and/or who do not equally value and respect singlehood/ childfree/ childless.)
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