Christian Teachings on Relationships: One Reasons Singles Are Remaining Single (even if they want to get married)
I’ve discussed this before, but it’s worth mentioning in its own post:
Many Christians say they are concerned that more and more Christians are not marrying at all, or not marrying until later in life. They don’t understand why.
One of several reasons single Christians are remaining single is due to typical teaching about dating and marriage from most conservative Christian preachers, bloggers, and authors.
Because many Christians remain terrified of other Christians possibly getting involved in fornication, most of their relationship advice, even to unmarried Christians over the age of 35, comes down to: stay away from the opposite sex.
Telling females to stay away from males and vice versa, will only result in keeping Christian singles single.
Other approaches, such as “courting” and telling Christians to “date in groups” doesn’t work, either.
I can understand the group dating approach for teens or maybe blind dates, but for adults over the age of 25?
Evangelicals and Baptists guarantee prolonged or life long singleness by making the dating process convoluted and making singles paranoid of the opposite sex, or acting as though each and every meeting between the genders can and will end in sex.
If Christians want Christians to marry, and they keep saying they do, they need to stop advising Christian singles to stay away from singles of the opposite gender.
That should be obvious, but in many areas of American Christianity, it’s not.
–Some Christian Women Shy Away From Marriage Due to “Biblical Gender Complementarian” Teachings–
On another note, I’ve seen several younger Christian ladies say on other blogs that one reason they stay single is that they are afraid to get married.
They are afraid to get married because many churches teach ‘biblical gender complementarian’ garbage.
These young ladies are being told that being married to a Christian guy equals giving up your choices, your identity, and that you became a maid and a slave to a guy.
Which is, let’s face it, exactly what biblical gender complementarianism boils down to, all charges by those who believe in it to the contrary. It’s not a straw man.
(I know what I’m talking about, because up to my mid-30s I (Link): was a gender complementarian myself, so I am quite familiar with their teachings).
Christians who are more honest and consistent about biblical gender complementarianism admit it – they say it’s more accurate to say they into full-blown patriarchy.
It is all so ironic when one considers that most biblical gender complementarians assume it is secular feminism that is turning women (and some men) off to marriage, when, in reality, it’s biblical gender complementariam that is the culprit, in some cases.
Related posts, this blog:
(Link): “Who is my mother and who are my brothers?” – one of the most excellent Christian rebuttals I have seen against the Christian idolatry of marriage and natalism, and in support of adult singleness and celibacy – from CBE’s site