How Did this Idiot Get A Wife? – ‘They’re Married?!’ Series
(Link): Things That Make You Go Hmmm …
Letter to an advice columnist, “Dear Prudence”:
I’d like to give my new love the hardly used vibrator of my deceased wife. That cool?
- Dear Prudence,
In the summer of 2011 my wife and I purchased a top-of-the-line Jopen vibrator. We used it a few times and were just beginning to really integrate it into our sex lives when my wife died suddenly of a heart attack. (The vibrator had nothing to do with that.)
- Now, more than a year later, I’ve begun to date again. I’ve met a woman with an open mind, and I’m thinking she might be interested in using the vibrator.
- But I’m not sure how, or whether, to suggest it. Is it creepy to offer a dead woman’s vibrator to someone else? And if so what else can I do with it? Sell it on Craigslist?
It’s an expensive piece of equipment, barely used, and it should be employed (and loved) once again.
All of my wife’s other major possessions found wonderful new homes with dear friends of hers. But then again, a vibrator’s got a different—well, vibe about it. Sell it, toss it, or share it?
What. The. Hell. Dude?
Ewww. Gross. And how is it that a moron like this gets a spouse, then a girlfriend… and meanwhile, I’m still single? Just wow.