Unmarried Women Perceived as Threats – Married Women Won’t Let This Myth Perish

Unmarried Women Perceived as Threats – Married Women Won’t Let This Myth Perish

The old stereotype or fear that all unmarried women are predators of married men, or that married people cannot be friends with singles without things turning sexual, is still around.

Not only are there plenty of unmarried women who would never have an affair with a married man, but married people need to remember that sometimes married men have affairs with married women of other husbands.

That point is never factored in.

At least some secular sources recognize this takes place (anyone catch last night’s episode of AMC’s Mad Men, where married ad exec Don Draper had sex with the wife of a doctor neighbor in his apartment building?) And of course, I’ve seen this happen in real life, I’ve read about it and have known it to happen.

Here’s another example, from a married woman (who is apparently age 35+) in a latter to “Ask Amy,” who perceives unmarried women, especially ones in their twenties, as being extra-marital affairs waiting to happen:

Ask Amy: Even if it’s true, don’t resort to trashing sons’ lecherous father

I discovered that my husband of more than 20 years is carrying on an “emotional affair” with another woman. As far as I know, the affair is not physical. He has begun meeting female “friends” for after-dinner drinks and posts pictures of himself with the young, attractive women he works with on his Facebook page.

He constantly discusses what these 20-something women are doing and saying with our teenage sons. I’m finally at the point where I can’t take it, and I’m seeing a divorce lawyer.

My question to you is, when my sons ask why we are getting a divorce, do I tell them that their father is a liar? And that he has disrespected their mother by carrying on with other women while married?

Or do I let their father explain? I am so angry that I want to explain to them that real men don’t cheat on their wives or lie to them. And real men don’t flirt with other women and make comments about how attractive other women are in front of their wives. He does this all the time, even when our sons are with us.

[Signed,] Fed Up in California

I do not think a married man should be oogling other women, always flirting with others, or constantly mentioning to his wife that so-and-so is real sexy, but this woman is maintaining the perception that unmarried women are threats, competition, and all of them want to jump her husband.

I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again, but most husbands of these types of women are not worth looking twice at. They’re fat, out of shape, balding, or missing a few teeth.

What could possibly cause you to think any unmarried woman would consider your spouse a catch or a temptation? A lot of married women are in denial about this. I’ve seen them on forums and blogs, and they really think, “Oh no, my husband is different, he really is a strapping hunk of sexy man all women desire!” -No, he’s really not.

I’m one of those unmarried women who would not sleep with a married guy for several reasons (yes, we exist, not all single ladies want to steal married men away), one of which being: if he’s already willing to cheat on his wife (with me), he’s more than willing to cheat on me too, so he’s shown himself untrustworthy.

But anyway. People need to stop carrying this myth along, that single women all want to sleep with married men, or cannot be trusted alone with one, relying on one, or confiding in one. We single ladies wind up very socially isolated because of these unfair perceptions.

I also found it interesting and ageist that the woman who wrote the Amy letter only seems to find 20-something females threatening. Married men have been known to have affairs with 30-, 40-, and 50-something women, both single and married ones. But keep deluding yourself that certain classes of women are “safe,” lady.
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Links to Related Posts on This Blog:

The ol’ Christian myth that married couples are impervious to sexual sin but singles have lots of sexual sin

Index: More examples on this blog of married people engaging in sexual sins, infidelity

Index: Stereotypes About Un-Married People, About Marriage, How To Get Married, etc

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