Getting Married Does Not Necessarily Guarantee Frequent Hot Satisfying Sexy Sex – Husband is Sexless for Eight Years (article)
Apparently, the problem of married people wanting sex but not getting any -because their spouses don’t want to have sex- is common enough that books have been written about the subject, including one called “The Sex-Starved Marriage” by M. Davis.
There are several different fairy tales conservative Christians hand out to Christian pre- teens and young adults to encourage them to refrain from fornicating: tell them to just hold on until they get married to have sex, or, that thought combined with the twist, “just wait until you get married, and the sex will be mind blowing!”
What happens when one partner in marriage, due to low libido, past sexual abuse, being physically exhausted, or just plain old disinterested in sex doesn’t “put out” as often as the other partner would prefer? Why, you wind up with a sex-less (or a non-plentiful sex life, at least possibly from the perspective of one spouse).
Here is an advice column that discusses the situation where a married man is not having sex at all:
Ask Amy: Sexless marriage lacking a connection
Ask Amy Man in Sexless Marriage
- DEAR AMY: I’m 56 years old. I’ve been married for more than 20 years, and we haven’t made love in more than eight years. Is our sex life over forever?
- ‘ve brought this up with my wife only five or six times in the last eight years, and it’s always the same. She says we’re not connected, not communicating. If only we were connected more, she says. What does that mean? One time we took a two-hour hike together. She felt ever so slightly more connected to me that day but not enough for sex.
- I’m like a pot of boiling pasta on the stove, boiling over every year or so, then the heat is turned down, and I find myself simmering instead.
- I love my wife. I think she’s attractive and I am in love with her. She’s put on weight in the last 20 years, and I know it bothers her, but I think she’s pretty, beautiful and sexy.
- Sex is one of the only ways I know to show my love and to show that I am loved. I do get to demonstrate my love in other ways, like making her tea when she’s sick or buying her jewelry. I’m a good husband. We share kitchen chores and carpooling. We are as equal as anyone in this department. And I never leave the seat up!
- We haven’t even kissed more than a quick peck at the departure gate at the airport or when I give her jewelry. What I’d give for a 10-minute kissing session — she’s such a good kisser.
- I cannot believe that our sex life is over. It breaks my heart.[Signed,] — Sad
So much for the evangelical, Southern Baptist, and fundamentalist Christian promise to all single people that hot sexy sex is guaranteed in marriage!
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Related posts:
(Link): Why Doesn’t Your Husband Want to Have Sex? by E. Bernstein
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