Why So Much Fornication Among Christians and Secular Society – Because Christians and Secularists Have No Expectation of Sexual Purity
Take a look at this quote I placed in bold-face, in an article I pasted into my previous post (see comments by me below this excerpt):
I recently read a blog entry from a user that was concerned about the teachings of her pastor and if she and her husband should leave the church. My situation is very similar…only to the nth degree. Here are a few excerpts of things my pastor has said (and continues to say) in many of his sermons…and at any given time. (Note: sexual descriptions have been toned down by editors)
2. In the middle of sermons, he felt compelled to find out who in the church was fornicating. He proceeded to ask each and every unmarried member: “Are you screwing?”
At the very least, this gross, vulgar pastor at least phrased the question “Are you screwing” and not “WHO are you screwing,” but that he found it necessary to ask singles about this shows he, like many Christians, expect that most singles past the age of 25 are engaging in fornication.
Also, the pastor needs to ask his married members: “Who are you having sex with?,” because married people have affairs, hire sex workers, and look at dirty web sites. His question presumes only singles have sex outside of marriage, which is incorrect.
One reason singles are fornicating (having sex outside of marriage) is because they are expected to. Nobody in the church or in secular society expects that anyone can control his or her sexual behavior for more than two seconds.
There are Christians who are virgins into their 40s and older, ones who hoped to marry and who have NORMAL sexual drives, so quite obviously, it is a lie and distortion for pastors, Churches, and for Hollywood to keep insisting it’s abnormal, weird, strange, or too unrealistic to expect anyone past a certain age to refrain from sex.
Churches need to raise the bar higher. Stop assuming all your singles are fooling around.
Start talking as though you know they are not having sex outside of marriage, and watch as at least some segments of singledom… stop screwing around.
Singles are told constantly by preachers, churches, lay person Christians, Christian dating material, books, TV shows -and by secular society- that it’s inhumane, unfair, or impossible for them to refrain from sex longer than two seconds, so do not be surprised when singles shrug their shoulders and say, “Well okay then, even the preacher says I can’t be expected to abstain, so I’ll dive right into sex!”
One myth that feeds into the erroneous Christian view that singles (or marrieds) cannot live without sex for longer than two seconds is the misunderstanding about celibacy: it is not a “gift.” (Link): No where does the Scripture say that singleness or celibacy are “gifts.”
Not all singles choose to be single. Not all singles have been “called to singleness” or “gifted with singlehood” or “called to celibacy.”
Some singles like me had hoped to marry and have sex. I did not deliberately choose to be un-married this long.
God did not grant me any kind of special super power that removes all libido, sexual desire, nor was I granted with some supernatural disinterest in hot, hunky, muscular blue eyed dream-boats.
I’m an ordinary HETERO with normal desires for sex and married companionship. I don’t have some special gift, power, ability or “super power” or “calling” that empowers me to abstain. I don’t feel Christ giving me special grace to refrain from sex.
Celibacy is a matter of choice, self-control, and good old-fashioned self-discipline. If I, a normal mortal with a normal sex drive, can forgo sex this long, so can you.
If churches began showcasing virginity and celibacy as reasonable expectations, not as something only a few with Magical Super Powers can achieve, we might see more Christian singles avoiding sex outside of marriage.
That, and preachers need to shut up about sex from the pulpit, as in “Married sex is great!”
Singles don’t need to be exposed to the constant “married sex is awesome” sermons every other Sunday.
Preacher, would you go on and on every week about how great and yummy potato chips and chocolate cake are in front of your chubby friend who is dieting? No, you would not, because that would be rude.
So stop dangling sex in front of a room full of congregants who are single and trying not to have sex.
Some preachers are clueless idiots – they’re not “upholding” marriage with all the marriage sermons, they are un-necessarily torturing their single audience members.
Related posts this blog:
(Link): False Christian Teaching: “Only A Few Are Called to Singleness and Celibacy” or (also false): God’s gifting of singleness is rare – More Accurate: God calls only a few to marriage and God gifts only the rare with the gift of Marriage