Are Christians Tossing Out Prohibitions Against Pre-Martial Sex (radio show)
Radio show you can listen to online:
Mefferd and some Focus on the Family guy named Glenn Stanton talk about this article on the Atlantic (which I have not read and don’t know if I will or not):
On this radio show, Mefferd and Stanton explain, as I have previously on this blog, that sexual purity and pre-marital sex teachings are under attack by liberal Christians, some feminists, and emergents (they mention Rachel Held Evans by name), mostly because women who have pre-marital sex feel guilty or ashamed by sexual purity teachings.
My reasons for giving up on pre-marital abstinence teachings (I remain a virgin at 40+; I was waiting until marriage to have sex, I never got married but had hoped to be) is in part because the church does not support Christian never married virgins past age 30.
We older Christian virgins and our particular struggles are left alone, are ignored, especially the females: if you are not a wife and mommy, churches will not permit you to serve.
We older Christian virgins are ignored by the larger Christian community. We get no support to hang on to chastity, we get no other kind of support (married couples don’t invite us to their homes for holiday dinners and the like). All the focus goes to teens and 20-somethings and supporting them with friendships and support in fighting sexual struggles.
So, I no longer see the point in waiting until marriage to have sex.
I’ve already decided that when I begin dating again, I will have sex before marriage, provided I esteem the guy I’m dating enough. If he’s an idiot, I won’t bother – I’m not giving it up for just any chump to come along. I’ll still have standards, don’t get me wrong, but not the lofty, “I’m waiting for a Christian Prince Charming to marry me first” unobtainable kind of standard. (But by the way: sex outside of marriage is still a sin, even if I do it. I’m at least honest enough to admit it.)
Contrary to what Mefferd and Glenn say on the radio show, there are indeed segments of the Christian community, usually the fringe kook types, but sometimes by mainstream, well- meaning- but- idiotic clods, who do indeed tell fornicators they are dirt and ‘used goods’ if they have sex outside of marriage; RHE and other emergents, as well as some feminists and liberals, are not entirely making this up, as Mefferd and Stanton claim.
Mefferd and Stanton, on the radio show, discuss a book by some guy entitled “Unclean,” about sexual issues as taught among Christians, a book that maintains that the sexual purity lectures are sexist because they always focus on the female’s sexuality and virginity. I agree – it’s something I’ve noticed that is frequently done, even by FEMINISTS who discuss this topic. HOWEVER, the solution is not to toss out sexual purity teachings because they focus on females, but to hold males up to the same standards, because the Bible does.
The male host, Stanton, though, says there is something “special” about a woman’s purity – what the hell? He adds that sex and boyfriend-girlfriend breakups, is a more emotional ordeal for females. Maybe or maybe not, but this is getting back into the sexist, lop-sided expectation and viewpoints that purity standards are really not equally applicable to males.
The Bible nowhere says that sexual purity, or ‘virginity- until- marriage,’ are more important for females to practice because females are supposedly “more emotional” or have “more unique hearts” than men. The Bible doesn’t get into the psychology of men and women and how, when, or if one gender is more damaged by or sensitive to sex than the other – the Bible just expects both genders to save sex for marriage, period, end of story.
The Bible nowhere teaches that women are more dainty, emotional and ergo more heavily damaged by pre-marital sex than men are – even if it could be proven they are, so what? The Bible does not use that as a rationale for why people should abstain. I’m not saying it’s not a point females should not consider before boinking a man, BUT I am saying it AIN’T IN THE BIBLE.
Anyway, you can listen to the interview yourself at the link I provided above.
Related posts this blog:
(Emergents, Sexual Abuse Victims, some Feminists, and Liberals attacking sexual purity teachings and virgin until marriage teachings mentioned in the following post):