Are Christians Tossing Out Prohibitions Against Pre Martial Sex (radio show)

Are Christians Tossing Out Prohibitions Against Pre-Martial Sex (radio show)

Radio show you can listen to online:

(Link): Hour 1- Glenn Stanton from Focus on the Family discusses evangelicals and pre-marital sex [with host Janet Mefferd].

Mefferd and some Focus on the Family guy named Glenn Stanton talk about this article on the Atlantic (which I have not read and don’t know if I will or not):

(Link): “Why Some Evangelicals Are Trying to Stop Obsessing over Pre Marital Sex”

On this radio show, Mefferd and Stanton explain, as I have previously on this blog, that sexual purity and pre-marital sex teachings are under attack by liberal Christians, some feminists, and emergents (they mention Rachel Held Evans by name), mostly because women who have pre-marital sex feel guilty or ashamed by sexual purity teachings.

My reasons for giving up on pre-marital abstinence teachings (I remain a virgin at 40+; I was waiting until marriage to have sex, I never got married but had hoped to be) is in part because the church does not support Christian never married virgins past age 30.

We older Christian virgins and our particular struggles are left alone, are ignored, especially the females: if you are not a wife and mommy, churches will not permit you to serve.

We older Christian virgins are ignored by the larger Christian community. We get no support to hang on to chastity, we get no other kind of support (married couples don’t invite us to their homes for holiday dinners and the like). All the focus goes to teens and 20-somethings and supporting them with friendships and support in fighting sexual struggles.

So, I no longer see the point in waiting until marriage to have sex.

I’ve already decided that when I begin dating again, I will have sex before marriage, provided I esteem the guy I’m dating enough. If he’s an idiot, I won’t bother – I’m not giving it up for just any chump to come along. I’ll still have standards, don’t get me wrong, but not the lofty, “I’m waiting for a Christian Prince Charming to marry me first” unobtainable kind of standard. (But by the way: sex outside of marriage is still a sin, even if I do it. I’m at least honest enough to admit it.)

Contrary to what Mefferd and Glenn say on the radio show, there are indeed segments of the Christian community, usually the fringe kook types, but sometimes by mainstream, well- meaning- but- idiotic clods, who do indeed tell fornicators they are dirt and ‘used goods’ if they have sex outside of marriage; RHE and other emergents, as well as some feminists and liberals, are not entirely making this up, as Mefferd and Stanton claim.

Mefferd and Stanton, on the radio show, discuss a book by some guy entitled “Unclean,” about sexual issues as taught among Christians, a book that maintains that the sexual purity lectures are sexist because they always focus on the female’s sexuality and virginity. I agree – it’s something I’ve noticed that is frequently done, even by FEMINISTS who discuss this topic. HOWEVER, the solution is not to toss out sexual purity teachings because they focus on females, but to hold males up to the same standards, because the Bible does.

The male host, Stanton, though, says there is something “special” about a woman’s purity – what the hell? He adds that sex and boyfriend-girlfriend breakups, is a more emotional ordeal for females. Maybe or maybe not, but this is getting back into the sexist, lop-sided expectation and viewpoints that purity standards are really not equally applicable to males.

The Bible nowhere says that sexual purity, or ‘virginity- until- marriage,’ are more important for females to practice because females are supposedly “more emotional” or have “more unique hearts” than men. The Bible doesn’t get into the psychology of men and women and how, when, or if one gender is more damaged by or sensitive to sex than the other – the Bible just expects both genders to save sex for marriage, period, end of story.

The Bible nowhere teaches that women are more dainty, emotional and ergo more heavily damaged by pre-marital sex than men are – even if it could be proven they are, so what? The Bible does not use that as a rationale for why people should abstain. I’m not saying it’s not a point females should not consider before boinking a man, BUT I am saying it AIN’T IN THE BIBLE.

Anyway, you can listen to the interview yourself at the link I provided above.

Related posts this blog:

(Link): No, Christians and Churches Do NOT Idolize Virginity and Sexual Purity

(Link): Why So Much Fornication – Because Christians Have No Expectation of Sexual Purity

(Link): Douglas Wilson and Christian Response FAIL to Sexual Sin – No Body Can Resist Sex – supposedly – Re Celibacy

(Link): Christian Response FAIL to Sexual Sin – Easy Forgivism

(Link): Never Married Christians Over Age 35 who are childless [and Celibate] Are More Ignored Than Divorced or Infertile People or Single Parents

(Emergents, Sexual Abuse Victims, some Feminists, and Liberals attacking sexual purity teachings and virgin until marriage teachings mentioned in the following post):

(Link): Emergent Christian Guy Says Christians Need to “Celebrate Pre Marital Sex” (Fornication)

3 thoughts on “Are Christians Tossing Out Prohibitions Against Pre Martial Sex (radio show)”

  1. “HOWEVER the solution is not to toss out sexual purity teachings because they focus on females but to hold males up to the same standards, because the bible does.” Want more guys to wait? Let those who are know they are appreciated and make your standards clear. I’ve expressed that to Christian girls hundreds of times. Yet in my 52 years, I can recall hearing it twice. I’ve heard the same from other men who are waiting.

    1. I’m just one “Average Jane” blogger. I don’t have a huge following at this site. I am just venting here.

      The people who need to get these messages out there are people with big platforms like Mefferd whose radio show reaches hundreds or thousands, I would guess. She ignored my last e mail to her about these issues. (See previous post or two where I mention I e-mailed Mefferd.)

      The Focus on the Family weenies (who have a large online presence) need to address the existence of older virgin Christian people on their blogs etc but they are obsessed with teens and 20 somethings.

      Nobody gives me (a woman) any kudos for being a Christian virgin at age 40+. Nobody.

      Female virgins get no support either, not from liberal Christians, not from emergents, not from conservatives, not from churches, not from secular culture.

      I think it’s more than telling the already-virgin dudes past the age of 25, “hey awesome for you, good on you.” (Good lord knows female virgins don’t get pats on the back like that. It would help both genders a little bit to hold on if they got “atta boy, awesome job!” type comments and support, but that’s only part of it.)

      What we need more of in Christian lectures about sexual purity to teens, kids, and adults:
      “The Bible expects men to remain virgins until marriage too, NOT JUST WOMEN.”
      But only female sexuality is discussed in this area. Men get told things like, “No dirty magazines! Don’t leer too long at a woman in a bathing suit,” but never, or hardly ever, “Stay a virgin until marriage.” Women are expected to hold on til marriage but not really men, for some reason.

Comments are closed.