Lies The Church Tells Single Women (by Sue Bohlin)
(Link):Source
Please note: I offer a link to this with a caveat: the author appears to be a ‘gender complementarian,’ and I completely disagree with the CBMW-ish type of view of “complementarianism.” I am a gender egalitarian. However, this author does get some points right, including the portion I have excerpted below.
Lies The Church Tells Single Women (by Sue Bohlin)
Lie #3: Women Can’t be Fulfilled or Spiritually Effective Without a Husband or Children.
The third lie is that women can’t be fulfilled or spiritually effective without a husband or children. Some churches teach that God’s perfect plan for every woman is to be a wife and mother. Period. Sometimes Christian women successful in business or some other professional field are made to feel unwelcome at a church, as if they are an unhealthy influence on “purer” women.
In some places, single women are prevented from leading home fellowship groups because they’re single.{8} Others have been discouraged from running for political office or pursuing a graduate education because God’s plan was for them to marry and keep house–even when God hadn’t brought a groom into the picture!
Lee Grady says, “We must stop placing a heavy yoke on unmarried and divorced women in the church by suggesting that they are not complete without a man in their lives or that a husband somehow legitimizes their ministries.”{9}
In some churches, women are routinely taught that the best way for them to serve God is to get married, make their husbands happy, and have children. They think this should be the sole focus of women’s lives.
And to be honest, when God has given a woman a husband and children, especially young children, focusing her primary energies and gifting on her family truly is the most important way she serves God in that season of her life.
Children will not be impressed with how many Bible studies their mother teaches each week. And most husbands will be less than enthusiastic for their wives to go off on several mission trips each year when it means the home is falling apart and everybody’s life is in chaos.
But women, even women with families, are given spiritual gifts that God intends for us to use to build up the body of Christ, both inside and outside our families.
When we exercise those spiritual gifts and abilities, God delights to honor us with a sense of fulfillment. And usually that involves ministry in the church or in the world, as long as it’s secondary to our family priorities.
But not all women are called to marriage and motherhood. It is disrespectful to single Christian women to treat them as second-class women because they don’t wear a wedding ring.
It’s heartbreaking and frustrating when a woman would love to be married, but God hasn’t brought her to the man of His choice; it just adds unnecessary sorrow for the church to say, “Sorry, honey, without a man you don’t have a place here.”
Other posts on this blog…
(Link): Debunking Eros: Why Romantic Love Isn’t the Only Love Worth Having by Mimi Haddard
(Link): Seven Truths About Marriage You Won’t Hear in Church by F. Powell
(Link): Celibate Christian Woman Asks Christian Host (Pat Robertson) Why God Will Not Send Her a Husband
(Link): Learning to See Your Single Neighbor by H. Stallcup
(Link): Ed Stetzer’s Marriage Article on Christianity Today and C. Allen’ s Response
(Link): Getting Married Is Not an Accomplishment by N. Brooke’
(Link): Do You Need a Partner to Have a Happy Life? by D. LaBier
(Index) (Link): Posts About Discrimination Against Christian Single Women By The Church
(Link): Marriage-Pushing Zealot Wilcox Suggests that Being Single is Immoral: National Review Article
(Link): Let’s Kiss Dating Hello – Ring By Spring Culture at Christian Campuses, by N. Sheets
(Link): Why Do Churches Treat Singleness Like a Problem? via Relevant Magazine
(Link): Facebook’s motherhood challenge makes me want to punch my computer screen by F. Everett
(Link): Check your ‘cat-lady’ preconceptions about childless women
(Link): Praying for a Child – The Catholic Church makes life impossible for infertile women
(Index) (Link): Posts about Heretical Teaching By Some Christians: Unmarried People Are Not Fully in God’s Image, are only “one half” in God’s image
(Link): Single Workers Aren’t There to Pick Up the Slack For Their Married Bosses and Colleagues
(Link): Article by J. Watts: The Scandal of Singleness
(Link): ‘Why Are You Single’ Lists That Do Not Pathologize Singles by Bella DePaulo
(Link): I Married Young. I Was Widowed Young. I Never Want A Long-Term Partner Again by R. Woolf
(Link): I’m 45, Single And Childless. No, There’s Nothing ‘Wrong’ With Me. by M Notkin
(Link): Are Single People the Lepers of Today’s Church? by Gina Dalfonzo
(Link): Please Stop Shaming Me for Being Single by J. Vadnal
(Link): Following the Usual Advice Won’t Get You Dates or Married – Even Celebrities Have A Hard Time
(Link): Depressing Testimony: “I Was A Stripper but Jesus Sent Me A Great Christian Husband”
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