Cheating Married Christian Women and Lessons I Take Away – and Being a Virgin aka Sexually Pure Does Not Guarantee God will Send You a Spouse
This post touches on two or three subjects I’ve raised before.
First, the erroneous assumption by many Christians (usually married) that singles are sleazy sleaze buckets with excessive libidos who fornicate all over the place, while married Christian couples are always sexually pure and never sexually sin.
Secondly, there’s an idea floated around in some Christian material (usually books about dating and marriage, but at times, in sermons) that having pre-marital sex (or committing other sorts of sexual sin) will prevent a Christian from getting married (or from staying married).
It’s usually murky on whether or not the Christian author or speaker means to imply that God is (A.) directly punishing you for your sexual sin by with-holding a spouse from you, or (B.) if they mean to say it’s a natural consequence of your sexual sin. I usually assume they mean it’s A., rather than B.
However, I’ve not seen evidence of A. Well, not even of B, really.
On the contrary, I keep seeing televised testimonies on Christian programs such as “The 700 Club” or “Praise the Lord” by spouses who say their Christian spouse has a history of cheating, but they stayed with the spouse anyway. It’s sometimes a male who admits to cheating on a spouse, but every so often, one will see a female confessing to adultery.
I suppose such testimonies are intended to make the viewer think about forgiveness and grace, that we can see from this the grace God extends to sinners.
I walk away with the opposite impression. Here’s the lesson I get from these testimonies: it does not matter if you stray from a spouse and/or engage in sexual sin prior to marriage, because you can still get a spouse (including a Christian one);
Or, the other side of the lesson I take away is,
If you are already married and cheat, your believing spouse will not divorce you over the cheating.
In summary: There is no penalty for pre-marital sex or for cheating, or it’s not a large one, or sexual sin does not prevent one from getting a spouse, or not every one who engages in sexual sin suffers a negative penalty from it.
And hence (flip side of coin), there is no incentive to remain sexually pure and chaste.
Then you have Christian virgins past the age of 30 who desire marriage, but God has not permitted them, or sent them, a spouse. These are people who have remained sexually pure but who have not received a spouse. This reality of life also flies in the face of “sexual purity as commodity in exchange for marital partner from God” teaching.
I don’t care what the Bible says about sexual sin, for in practice and reality, when I look around me and see people talk about their lives after sexual sin, it looks like God does not give a flying rat if you stray on your partner or engage in pre-marital sex.
The Christian show “The 700 Club” once ran an interview with a husband and wife in their 40s where the wife had an affair with a 25 year old Hispanic guy from their church, she got pregnant by the guy, and the husband forgave her, and they now raise the “love child” as their own. I may have posted that story before.
Here’s another example similar to that of a cheating woman whose Christian husband forgave her and did not leave her:
Lastly, of course, that married Christian women are having extra-marital affairs goes to show that:
1. Married Couples are not above sexual sin; they too commit sexual sins, not only some singles….. and….
2. Women have sexual desire and libidos. It is not true that only men want or enjoy sex (as is usually taught from church pulpits or in Christian blogs about dating/marriage)
3. One does not have to achieve Godly perfection, total sanctification, or work out all one’s character flaws and remove them, to merit a spouse from God, or to attract a partner
Related posts this blog:
(Index Topic Link): Married Christian Couples Engage in Sexual Sin (examples, editorials)