Confessions of a 25-year-old Christian virgin (article)
This is from 1994 and mentions “True Love Waits” – and if you are early 40s like me, it waits and waits and waits and waits some more
(Link): Staking their lives on it Christian teens take their message of chastity and virtue to a mocking city
- It’s hard being one of the few not ‘doing it’
… I’m a 25-year-old Christian virgin squirming in a secular world where sex is both ordinary and essential. Even though asking about virginity is considered intrusive, the unspoken understanding is that everybody has already “done it.” Even Christians.
I’m not the only Christian young woman living in a hypersexualized culture. And it’s not just non-Christians who “hook up” regularly. It’s the Christians too—even those we would deem “strong believers.”
… Well, for one, Christians typically have to deal with the aftermath of guilt and shame.
… Yet others, while struggling with initial guilt, eventually learn to desensitize themselves from it. Mary, 23, told me she lost her virginity when she was 18 to her first boyfriend. The first time left her “crying a lot” because of the guilt.
But that didn’t stop her from continuing to have sex, and “the crying and the guilt has slowly vanished over the years,” she said. She doesn’t “lose sleep over it” anymore.
In fact, given today’s sexual landscape, she’s pretty sure her future husband will have been even more promiscuous than her––so who is he to judge? He must accept her wholly, hookup record and all.
Another Christian friend, Kim, told me she doesn’t think premarital sex is any graver than other sins because we are all sinners: “People make it a bigger deal than it really is,” she said. She then leafed through Bible verses, pointing out that the Scriptures never clearly define a stance on premarital sex. Yes, the Apostle Paul urged the faithful to flee “fornication” and “sexual immorality,” but what does that mean, exactly? And what gives Christians the right to condemn other people?
“To focus so much on the behavior and using that to define somebody’s relationship with God is legalism,” Kim said. “I think the heart is most important. Who of us doesn’t sin? It doesn’t help anybody to dwell in guilt over something that is already lost.”
(Link): Read the Rest
Related posts this blog: