Divorce. Unpardonable sin? (from CWO) / How Churches Fail the Divorced (article)
I’ve never been divorced, as I’ve never been married, but I see some overlapping in how churches treat the never-married with how they treat the divorced (which is like crap). So here’s a post about divorce and how Christians treat divorced people like crap too.
This is written by a Christian woman who got a divorce [correction: the author said she’s not been divorced but was referring to some of her friends who have been]:
(Link): Divorce. Unpardonable sin?
- It wasn’t too long ago I rode the high horse of judgment towards divorces. It was my contention that IF ANYONE got divorced it was completely selfish; if you got divorced well, you weren’t trying hard enough. Oh, and also, that God hates divorce. I was pretty good at lobbing these opinions at people, or in public forums. Then someone close to me got divorced. It was very clear that in order to protect her family she did the best thing for them by leaving a man who refused to repent of issues that would/could damage her children.
- She was, first of all a mother protecting her children. How can that be wrong? And, turns out, from her ex’s actions and lack of action since the divorce, it was the absolute right thing to do.
- Her church did not help in any way, there was no compassion, support, encouragement, certainly none of Jesus’ grace, mercy or love anywhere. But what was not lacking? Judgment. And plenty of it.
- Including from her Pastor. When I saw myself reflected in mean self-righteous people acting the way I once did, well, my fall of the high horse was short but painful.
- Since then, God has lead me to beautiful women whose husbands were chameleon Christians at best and abusive at the least. These men seemed to hate their blessings: their wives and children.
- By their actions it’s clear thy have no understanding of what a husband or father is supposed to be, it seems they want only something to control, or display
- The fact that I see this happening more than once is disturbing and I ask myself, is a wife compelled to spend her life in these ungodly conditions? Is this what God would intend for the lives of His children?
- …A woman whose husband is serially unfaithful, emotionally distant, abusive with anger and feeding a wicked hunger for pornography, a man who refuses to get help because he so narcissistic he cannot see the problem is his, has been abandoned or if you will: divorced.
- Sad things is, I’ve met many women who have lived this same tragic scenario. How sad God must be when one of His children destroys the very gift God had chosen to bless him with.
- How do we account for God’s family who should be in place to help, love, care for the bleeding wounded and yet do nothing but righteously judge ‘em and kick ‘em. When we’re down, trapped, lost we need need HIs grace, mercy and love the most, instead this seems to when Christians judgment is most vehement.
- …The empty chair beside me is a reminder that single people; moms and dads who once had a marriage relationship and participated in church together, must initially, be painfully lonely, coming to a place where they once were two and now sit alone. My friend tells me that even when she was single, never having had the experience of the marriage relationship in church yet, she felt outside, not included.
(Link): Read the rest