Tell the Baby-Obsessed To Back Off (Letter)

Tell the Baby-Obsessed To Back Off

(Link): Tell the Baby-Obsessed To Back Off – from Annie’s Mail Box

    Dear Annie: My husband, “Scott,” and I have been married for three years, and our families keep asking when we’re going to have children. It’s all they talk about.

    I just became a licensed physician’s assistant, and Scott was accepted into an Ivy League doctoral program. No congratulations or kudos for either of us. Scott’s friends held a small celebratory barbeque, and we invited his sisters and parents. All they did was talk about how we’ll never have time for kids with such busy careers. At my sister’s bridal shower, my aunt asked whether Scott and I were having fertility problems. I pointed out that I’m only 28, and she laughed and said, “Better hurry up!”

    Scott and I have a lot of student debt. We spent a lot of time apart during our studies and are now finally able to make time for each other and start putting away for the future. I mentioned to my parents that we were going on a cruise this summer, and my mother got all excited, assuming we were planning to get pregnant. I was dumbfounded and didn’t respond. She later told her friends that we were “trying,” and several of them contacted me with congratulations.

    I do not understand this fascination with my sex life. It’s embarrassing and annoying. We have a big family reunion coming up for Scott’s grandmother’s 80th birthday, and his sisters have told me that if they don’t see a bump, they’ll lock us in the closet and not let us out until I’m pregnant. I no longer want to attend, and Scott feels trapped. I’m at the end of my politeness rope. What should I do?

    — Leave Us Alone

    Dear Leave: You have to be more assertive and less nice to these amazingly rude, intrusive people. Tell them, “We’re sorry if you are disappointed, but the topic of pregnancy is not under discussion. Scott and I will decide when to start a family.

    If you persist in bringing up the subject, we will be forced to leave.” Then ignore all angry comments in response and leave if you need to.

    Every time.

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(Link): I’m Childless, Not Child-Incompetent (editorial by G. Dalfonzo) – The Christian Tendency to Worship Family, Motherhood, and Children

(Link): Cultural Discrimination Against Childless and Childfree Women – and link to an editorial by a Childless Woman

(Link): The Child Free City

(Link): Childfree Christians / Childfree childless

(Link): Do You Rate Your Family Too High? (Christians Who Idolize the Family) (article)

(Link): The Decline in Male Fertility (article)

(Link): Salvation By Marriage Alone – The Over Emphasis Upon Marriage (and “family”) by Conservative Christians Evangelicals Southern Baptists

(Link): Family as “The” Backbone of Society? – It’s Not In The Bible

(Link): A Critique of the Family-Integrated Church Movement by Brian Borgman – Christians turning the family into an idol

(Link): If the Family Is Central, Christ Isn’t

(Link): Refreshing: Christian Researcher Disputes that Youths Are Leaving Churches in Droves, Disagrees that Churches Should Be Family Focused

(Link): Fatherhood Not Quite the Producer of Manly, Mature, Godly Men Some Conservative Christians Make It Out To Be

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