Singles and the Church: Why It Sucks to be Unintentionally Overlooked (from The Sexy Celibate blog)

Singles and the Church: Why It Sucks to be Unintentionally Overlooked (from The Sexy Celibate blog)

I highly recommend this blog page:
(Link): Singles and the Church: Why It Sucks to be Unintentionally Overlooked (by Kate Hurley)

I also recommend you read the comments section on that blog page, as you will find a lot of single Christians offering testimonies that are familiar, so you may find it comforting to see you are not alone.

There are of course, and unfortunately, one or two married people (and even a couple of singles) who had to leave comments in the comment section on that page who were trying to diminish, or downplay, the hurtful experiences that people were discussing at that very blog: how the church ignores or mistreats singles who are over 30.

Some of the nay-sayers appeared to be denying that church mistreatment of adult singles is a reality, as though the original poster, Ms. Hurley, (and those leaving tales of Singles Woes), were exaggerating things, or it was all in their heads.

Still, there were one or two singles who are into that whole attitude of,

    “Meh, I’ve over 45 years old, still not married, but I’m so cool with my singleness now, I am one sassy single, woo hoo, the rest of y’all need to get over it already!”

who were also leaving posts in the comments section.

In other words, the sort of singles I’ve blogged about before (Link): here.

I’m sure these are lovely people doing the Rah Rah-ing, but sometimes, those sorts of “Yay me, I’m single and lovin’ it, so should you!,” rah- rah- cheer- leading types just rub me the wrong way.

Great for these folks for being THRILLED with singleness, but allow the rest of us who aren’t so happy with ours to sort through our issues about it, even if that means frowning about it or not being so upbeat about it.

But I related to many of the other posts there.

I find it kind of funny that some of the married people leaving comments at that blog say they found the comments by the wounded singles sad, and a few said they had no idea how bad it was for adult singles until they read through the comments.

Yes, married Christian people, it really is that hard to be single, it really is that bad to be a single in almost any Christian church.

The church does not live up to its Jesus-commanded ideal to provide community, friendship, belonging, and spiritual family for anyone and everyone, not only for the ‘married with children’ demographic.

I visited and left several comments there.

I left a link to my blog here, so perhaps we’ll be seeing more visitors here. Though I did warn them that my language can be salty at times (though the majority of the posts are PG to G rated), and I’m not one to entertain bickering here, if someone comes here to fuss and fight.

(Link): Singles and the Church: Why It Sucks to be Unintentionally Overlooked (by Kate Hurley)

Here are one or two excerpts (please read the whole thing; though. Click the link above to visit the page):

    From The Sexy Celibate blog
    by K. Hurley

    Reason #1- People underestimate the difficulties that singles face.

    … Instead of mourning over something that happened, disenfranchised grief is mourning over something that has never happened.

    … There are funny ways that church culture reflects their unawareness of our disenfranchised loss— not in what they do give us, but in what they don’t give us. The sermons that aren’t given, the prayers that aren’t offered, the books that aren’t written. As if what we are going through is not that important or difficult.

    … Reason #2- Influencers in the church are not often single.

    This brings me to my second point: the people writing the books and the people giving the sermons aren’t single. The problems singles face are far from these leader’s minds because it’s been such a long time since they have been single.

(Link): Please click here to read the rest (Singles and the Church: Why It Sucks to be Unintentionally Overlooked)
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Related posts, this blog:

(Link): The Netherworld of Singleness for Some Singles – You Want Marriage But Don’t Want to Be Disrespected or Ignored for Being Single While You’re Single

(Link): Never Married Christians Over Age 35 who are childless Are More Ignored Than Divorced or Infertile People or Single Parents

(Link): To Get Any Attention or Support from a Church These Days you Have To Be A Stripper, Prostitute, or Orphan

(Link): Want To But Can’t – The One Christian Demographic Being Continually Ignored by Christians Re: Marriage

(Link): Christian Reality TV Show Star Talks About Waiting Until Marriage to Have Sex

(Link): No, Christians and Churches Do Not Idolize Virginity and Sexual Purity

(Link): According to Pastor – Jimmy Evans – It Takes One Man and Woman Married To Equal A Whole – so where does that leave Christian singles ?

(Link): If the Family Is Central, Christ Isn’t – by John B Carpenter

(Link): Lies The Church Tells Single Women (by Sue Bohlin)

(Link): Gift of Singleness Gift of Celibacy Unbiblical – Those Terms and Teachings Contribute to Fornication / Editorial About Sex Surrogates

(Link): Church Postcards That Would Keep Me Away From Church (Re Marriage and Family Vs Singles and Childless / Childfree )

(Link): Women Are Visual And Like Hot Looking Men (Part 1) Joseph in Genesis Was A Stud Muffin

(Link): Superman, Man Candy -and- Christian Women Are Visual And Enjoy Looking At Built, Hot, Sexy Men