How Can Conservatives and Christians Keep Teaching Family is Backbone of Society when there are so many dysfunctional or abusive families
I am not anti marriage or anti having children.
I am however very tired of living in a secular and Christian culture that makes it sound as though being unmarried and childless is wrong and selfish, or as though people getting married and having children is the solution to all of what ails society.
How can Christians keep repeating the propaganda that family is the backbone of society when there are families that are abusive or selfish?
Let’s be real, here. Sometimes some marriages totally suck. Sometimes children are a hassle, pain in the ass, and as adults, are failures. Here’s an example:
DEAR AMY column, Oct 26, 2013:
- My husband and I have been married for 14 years. He is 80. He developed some form of dementia about four years after we married, and I am his caregiver. He is very high-functioning, enjoys life, reads and has hobbies, though he has started to show some physical weakness and loss of stamina.
We moved to the city where his children live, at their urging, so they could ostensibly “help” with caring for him if he worsened. They seldom help and are always occupied with other things. His daughter manages my husband’s assets, which are quite substantial.
Recently, I learned they have been looking at other living arrangements for us, without discussing this with us. They have told relatives that they worry about our stress level. They hint about moving us to assisted living.
We own our home and have very little maintenance associated with it. We are happy, and both of us are financially independent. I am healthy and younger than my husband, and while I have made it clear that I need breaks to spend time with my children and grandchildren in another state, I don’t complain about care giving.
We have insurance that would pay for in-home care, if needed. My husband can afford respite care, and we have outside help. I have been very angry about his children intruding and don’t know how to handle this.
— Hates Manipulation
Your frustration is warranted. You are a stepmother in a care-giving situation; you are a hero to this family, and all of your offspring — yours as well as his — should do everything they can to be supportive.
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