More Crummy Marriages Examples and How Gender Role Stereotypes Can Ruin Marriages
Yes, married people lie, cheat, and commit sexual sin. Marriage does not make people mature, act more godly, or become more responsible. No, no it really does not.
Example 1, from Carolyn Hax:
- Hi, Carolyn:
A year ago (and a year after my wedding) I found out that during the wedding planning, my spouse had an affair.
Since we had been married a year and I loved him, I wanted to stay and work on the relationship.
Recently I found out that he had been talking to some other woman and told her he was divorced and living with his ex-wife in separate bedrooms. At that point I packed my car and drove home from Colorado to Virginia, where I’m from.
He says he’s sorry, that he’s been in counseling, that he’s never giving up. We have no kids, no mortgage, no shared assets — I’m 25 and he’s 27, and my entire relationship with him has been about him, not who I want to be.
Part of me feels like I got a do-over to live my life the way I want to, but am I giving up too easily? I’m not sure I can look past the hurtful things he’s done, but I don’t want to leave without trying everything.
Next, from “Ask Amy” an example of how the stereotypes that a man and woman cannot be co-workers or friends without things ending in sex has caused an insecure husband to ruin his marriage – both Christians and Non Christians continue to peddle this false belief; from Ask Amy:
- DEAR AMY:
I have a question about marriage. I have been married for 12 1 / 2 years and am still pretty young at 33. I love my husband dearly and I think we have a pretty good life. We don’t have any big issues, just a couple of small ones.
He doesn’t like Facebook or any type of social media. He will only let me use Twitter if no one is following me and I am not tweeting.
He says Facebook brings up people or old friends from the past, and it’s better to leave it in the past. I understand this, but I feel as if we are also missing a connection with family and friends that live far away, and there are friends from the past I would like to be in touch with.
He also gets jealous sometimes of people at work. Can’t a person work with the opposite gender and get along with no hidden agenda? I have to deal with this so as to not cause a bigger issue at home. Is this just an example of compromise within marriage?
— Tired of the Insecurity