21 YO wheelchair bound woman in abusive marriage

21 YO wheelchair bound woman in abusive marriage

DEAR AMY: I am 21 and newly married. The man I married was a good guy, but now I feel ignored and neglected.

I am disabled and use a wheelchair part time (as well as a service dog). He seems embarrassed by this and has pressured me more than once to not use my wheelchair and push through the pain, even though I feel I should use my chair so I can function later.

He gets angry a lot, and I try to placate him.

He has withheld food until I could clean the kitchen. He says I’m lazy, even though I spend most of my days at school and working. He comments on my weight, even though I am on the low end of my BMI. He makes hurtful comments about my level of physical ability, wishing that I could be “more active and be a cheerleader or something.”

I’ve even been smacked upside the head for making a silly mistake. I don’t know what to do or think anymore. I feel perpetually guilty.

Lately I’ve lost interest in him and have a hard time being intimate. I have been taking notice of other men and dreaming about being with other men. I’ve felt so hurt by the things my husband has done, even after he has apologized. Help me; I just don’t know what to do. — Upset

DEAR UPSET: You need to leave this relationship. You report that your husband is emotionally, verbally and physically abusive. This is not safe for you. This situation will not change unless your husband changes, and — even if he apologizes after he has been abusive — you cannot count on him to change.