Regarding the post “Abstinence is unrealistic and old fashioned” at The Matt Walsh Blog vis a vis Stuff Christian Culture Likes group
This blog post originally came to my attention via the ‘Stuff Christian Culture Likes’ Facebook group, which is maintained by Stephanie Drury.
I do at times agree with some of Drury’s views, but not always.
Based on Drury’s introductory comments of this Matt guy’s post on her Facebook group page (which are, “I’d be really interested to see how this guy’s marriage is doing in, say, five or ten years.”), she seems to take a dim view of the Christian stance on teachings of celibacy and sexual purity, which is what Matt Walsh is promoting on his blog.
It’s interesting and a bit hypocritical that Drury would assume Walsh’s marriage will suck eggs and come to a crashing, fiery end in ten years time due to his belief in biblical sexual purity teachings but that she also bristles at the guy’s view that pre-marital sex can damage a person, or damage a future marriage.
As I’ve noted before in other posts on this blog, a lot of ex-Christians, or feminist or liberal Christians, throw the baby out with the bathwater on issues pertaining to sexual purity, celibacy and virginity – because some churches have dealt with sexual purity teachings in a harsh manner, some of these ex Christians or liberals feel churches should scrap such teachings altogether.
The end result is that liberal, emergent, and ex Christians engage in something I refer to as “Virgin Shaming” or “Celibacy / Celibate Shaming.”
So keen are these folks to make sure everyone tip toes around the feelings of people who have had pre-marital sex so as not to offend them or hurt their feelings, that anyone who actually is still a virgin past their 30s, or who is celibate after divorce or widowhood and/or who still believes celibacy should be taught and encouraged, is depicted as being judgmental or out of touch; the people who are living out the Bible’s teachings on sexual purity are made out to be the ones in the wrong.
The people in these dialogues do not care about offending or hurting the feelings of Christians who have stayed virgins into their 30s and older.
This also gets back to a somewhat related topic on my blog: I’ve noticed that Christians are very selective in whom they show mercy and compassion to.
For example, if you are an orphan or homeless crack addict, most Christians will heap love and compassion on you and race to offer you help and assistance, but if you are a never married adult going through some kind of a crisis, they do not give a damn about you.
It’s rather the same thing with the feminist, ex Christian, and / or liberal Christians, who are highly sensitive to the feelings and struggles of sexually active hetero singles or homosexuals but who don’t give a rat’s ass about unmarried Christians who are celibate and don’t care at all if their sexually hedonistic, libertine views cause offense or hurt to Christian singles who are virgins or celibate.
The most baffling thing to me as a celibate (and maybe former Christian), is how these ex-Christians, Christian feminists, or liberal Christians think that most Christians today support sexual purity or virginity, because they sure as hell do not support either one.
Outside of highly naive, idealistic unmarried 21 year old Christian bloggers, and very fringe groups, such as patriarchy- type ‘Quiverfull’ groups, who have a Christian gloss, and who do things such as hold “purity balls” for their little girls, most Christian talk in support of celibacy is just that, merely talk.
There is no honest- to- God support for celibacy, or for adult celibates themselves, in main stream Christianity.
The assumption by most preachers is that all singles over 25 are having sex or shortly will be. Preachers are forever issuing reminders from pulpits when the subject is brought up that “God will forgive you of your sexual sins, you singles who are fooling around.”
I have yet to hear a preacher pause and say, “For those of you past 30 who are still virgins, I salute you; this admonishment does not apply to you.”
Adults who are single and celibate past their mid 20s or early 30s get zero, no, none, nada support from the church -and even get blamed or shunned in some churches or branches of Christianity- for not marrying and not having children.
What fairy tale land are the liberal Christians, ex Christians, and feminists living in when they actually think Christians really support celibacy and virginity until marriage? It is utterly laughable. Christians do NOT support celibacy or virginity at all.
You will also notice, if you look over the posts under Walsh’s post, he has received some hostile, condemning, judgmental posts by self professing female fornicators who say Walsh is being condemning and judgmental. They don’t seem to spot the hypocrisy there.
(Link): Stuff Christian Culture likes re: “Abstinence is unrealistic and old fashioned” by Matt Walsh
(Link): Abstinence is unrealistic and old fashioned – (from Matt Walsh’s blog)
Here are some excerpts from Walsh’s page:
- If they tell you they feel happy or neutral about the fact that they gave themselves to someone other than their spouse, you’re dealing with someone in a very dysfunctional marriage. Any honest person in a healthy relationship would tell you they’d erase those moments from their lives if they could. They can’t, of course.
We can’t live in the past and harp on our mistakes, but this all leads to an important point: the myth of “casual sex” persists, even though many of us — millions and millions — have seen it for what it is.
Marriage as an institution is in rough shape, but people still do get married in this country. That means millions have had to look at their spouse and say — probably silently in their own heads, deep in their subconscious — “I have nothing new to give to you.”
It’s a tragedy, really. It’s a shame. You deal with it and you move on, but “casual sex” has taken its chunk and you’ll never get it back.
Related posts this blog:
(Link): When Adult Virginity and Adult Celibacy Are Viewed As Inconvenient or As Impediments
(Link): No, Christians and Churches Do Not Idolize Virginity and Sexual Purity
(Link): Sometimes Shame Guilt and Hurt Feelings Over Sexual Sins Is a Good Thing – but – Emergents, Liberals Who Are Into Virgin and Celibate Shaming
(Link): Inconsistency on Feminist Site – Choices Have Consequences
(Link): Why So Much Fornication – Because Christians Have No Expectation of Sexual Purity
(Link): Virgin – and Celibate – Shaming : Christian Double Standards – Homosexuals Vs Hetero Singles – Concerning Thabiti Anyabwile and Gag Reflexes
(Link): The Contemporary Church Undervalues Celibacy / Virginity
(Link): Christians Who Attack Virginity Celibacy and Sexual Purity – and specifically Russell D. Moore and James M. Kushiner
(Link): Why Christians Need to Uphold Lifelong Celibacy as an Option for All Instead of Merely Pressuring All to Marry – vis a vis Sexless Marriages, Counselors Who Tell Marrieds that Having Affairs Can Help their Marriages
(Link): More Anti Singleness Bias From Al Mohler – Despite the Bible Says It Is Better Not To Marry