World’s Most Interesting Singles Discussion at Ship of Fools forum

World’s Most Interesting Singles Discussion at Ship of Fools forum

I have no idea who any of the people are commenting, but this was one interesting thread, and I found myself relating to most of the comments:

(Link): Thread: Single women treated as ‘threat to church couples’ – Ship of Fools thread about churches maltreatment of singles

I am only going to copy one or two posts. If you want to read the rest of the thread, please use the link above.

    post by Ancient Mariner
    Posted 25 April, 2013 11:25

    Interesting article in today’s Independent newspaper [Link: Isolated: single Christians feel unsupported by family-focused churches].

    Single Christians feel “isolated, alone and lonely” within their churches, according to research from leading UK Christian dating website Christian Connection. More than a third of worshippers who were not married or in a relationship said they did not feel treated the same as those that were part of conventional families.

    And what about the comment ‘Women not in steady relationship treated as threats to couples’?

    Any thoughts/ experiences to share?

By Bob Two-Owls

    Avatar image
    Shipmate
    – Posted 25 April, 2013 12:48

    Originally posted by the giant cheeseburger:
    It’s a form of misogyny that is matched by an equal level of misandry – single men are also pushed to the margins in white middle class churches.

    Yes, it seems to apply to all singletons. I have been told that “I wasn’t doing my duty to God” and that I shouldn’t work with or talk to married women in the Church community without their husbands being present. Its flattering but I’m sure that most if not all women could actually control themselves in my presence.

by Laurelin

    Originally posted by Bob Two-Owls:
    Yes, it seems to apply to all singletons. I have been told that “I wasn’t doing my duty to God” and that I shouldn’t work with or talk to married women in the Church community without their husbands being present. Its flattering but I’m sure that most if not all women could actually control themselves in my presence.

    LOL! But, seriously, what a load of judgmental, sexist crap. [Roll Eyes] Sorry you were subjected to that. [Frown] Why oh why do some churches insist on shooting their own, eh?

    Well, these findings are depressing but not surprising. Having said that, I’ve never felt stigmatised as a single Christian woman in my circles.

    However, there is an elephant in the room: sexuality. Specifically, celibate sexuality. I am currently committed to celibacy – not entirely through lack of opportunity to be otherwise, my vanity compels me to point out [Two face] – but it seems to be blithely assumed by many evangelical Christians that their fellows who are celibates (for whatever reason, there are many variables) calmly sail through hormonal waters completely untroubled by a smidgeon of lust. [Razz] (What planet do people live on? [Help] )

    We’ve moved from being a culture that once judged people harshly for NOT being virgins (actually, make that women – it was never regarded as a big deal for men). And that is a good thing, because being a non-virgin is not the be-all and end-all and people certainly shouldn’t be pilloried for it. But we’ve now become a culture where if someone actually takes biblical teaching on sexuality seriously, i.e. if they really are committed to the idea that they won’t have sex before they are covenantally bound to another in marriage … well, there is clearly something wrong with them.

    I say our culture is out of whack.

    Feminism has helped me in this regard: I can say my celibacy is a valid choice (which it is). So then, respect someone’s choice. Don’t assume they’re weird, or pathological, or have never grown up, just because they’re not having sex.

    Over the years, I’ve worked out my own praxis on these issues, because I’ve yet to hear a helpful, rounded, grounded sermon on singleness and sexuality from any church I’ve ever attended. Christian singles are, IMO, left to sink or swim on their own.

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