How the Sexual Revolution Ruined Friendship – Also: If Christians Truly Believed in Celibacy and Virginity, they would stop adhering to certain sexual and gender stereotypes that work against both
If Christians really supported celibacy and virginity, they would stop maintaining and defending the idea that everyone is incapable of resisting sexual temptation.
Many Christians assume nobody is immune from having sex, except for a tiny percentage of those “gifted” with celibacy of singleness (despite the fact that Bible teaches no such thing).
Sexual self control is depicted in the Bible as being possible by everyone, not merely a “chosen few.”
Christians betray and belie their supposed support for virginity and sexual purity when they keep running around repeating and teaching cultural assumptions, such as, all single women have uncontrollable sexual appetites, seek to sleep with married men, men cannot control their desires, and a man and a woman cannot be platonic friends with each other.
Christians do not believe that sexual purity and virginity is possible.
They assume everyone and anyone is having sex outside of marriage or looking at porn, and many times in sermons and blog pages about sex, the preacher in question assumes the reader cannot keep his or her pants zipped up.
The assumption is that you are a sexual sinner and can just seek God’s forgiveness for it and deem yourself a “born again virgin,” or, the young teens are told to marry very early to avoid falling into sexual sin.
You will notice the assumption underlying all these ideas is the belief that nobody can resist sex for more than 20 minutes at a time, or past one’s early twenties.
The observations made in this page linked to below are the same ones I’ve made, and that have been made in books by Christian authors who have written about adult, Christian, single life.
One reason single adults, particularly single females, are shuffled off to the side and not included by Christians and others, is that everyone assumes single females are temptresses who cannot be trusted around married men.
People cannot conceive of adults having platonic relationships with one another. It is always assumed, even by Christians, that everyone is out for sex, and this means that singles are very isolated.
Nobody wants to invite single women out to dinner or to their homes and so forth. It’s a form of discrimination, yet I’ve seen Christians defend it on other sites.
I recall back in the 1970s when some groups began rumors about Jesus: that he was supposedly homosexual because he sure did travel alone with males a lot.
Newer homosexual propaganda tries to read homosexual erotica into every and any other relationship in the Bible, such as homosexual apologists insisting that King David and Jonathan were more than good friends, if you know what I mean.
Here are excerpts from (but please click the link to read the entire page; I don’t think my excerpts to this page does it justice)…
(Link): How the Sexual Revolution ruined friendship
- By Jonathon Van Maren
One of the casualties of the Sexual Revolution, however, is a significant one: Friendship.
It is an irony of Modernia that the secular elites believe that it is perfectly reasonable to assume that mankind has the ability to the change the climate or end poverty, but is incapable of keeping his or her pants on. We can do anything, if we put our minds to it—except, of course, stop ourselves from devolving into an irrational pool of primal passion the moment we are presented with the opportunity for sexual (mis)adventure.
That’s because “abstinence,” the Sages of the Sexual Revolution inform us from a wealth of inexperience, is “unrealistic.”
Thus, every friendship is now suspect—cross-gender friendships especially, mind you, but certainly not exclusively.
This is not merely my own observation, either.
Many of my friends, from every walk of life and varying worldviews, have made the same complaint. Friends, you say, people say knowingly if you’ve begun spending what they consider to be a significant amount of time with someone, Interesting.
Pop culture confirms and accentuates this new assumption, as well—nearly every sitcom on television has the characters eventually falling into bed with each other, as if it was simply a matter of time and the buzzer had gone off indicating that the “friends” period was over and “friends with benefits” could now ensue. In fact, the smash hit 1990s NBC sitcom Friends features nearly every character sleeping with the other at some point.
… The suggestion that “intimacy” necessarily translates into “sex”—which it certainly does not—is one that is extraordinarily reductionist in its analysis of the human person. The idea that two human beings cannot share a close, personal, and meaningful relationship with each other without any sexual component whatsoever is one that assumes human beings, in all their glorious and messy complexities, cannot be interested in someone else without demanding something—and something physical—from them. It assumes that real friends, friends who share common ground upon which to discuss life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, will at the end of the day measure the happiness of such a relationship and trade it in for fleeting physical pleasure, regardless of the cost.
…It assumes that the physical will always beat out the cerebral and intellectual in the value judgements people make. This attitude is stupid, offensive, immoral, and, I think, increasingly intolerable, as it has cast a pall of suspicion over many relationships that in days gone by would have been considered perfectly ordinary.
… And what a dreadful, reductionist assumption it is to see people enjoying one another’s company and assume that the only thing they have to offer each other is sexual favors.
Related posts, this blog (use the tags below this post, or the search field off to the right on this page to find even more related posts):
(Link): Topics: Friendship is Possible / Sexualization By Culture Of All Relationships
(Link): The Islamic Billy Graham Rule – Unmarried Muslim People Are Punished For Being Alone Together
(Link): Affairs Don’t Start with Texts – via guest authors at Tim’s blog
(Link): Reclaiming Stolen Friendships – a blog post criticizing the Sexist, Anti – Singles Christian Billy Graham Rule
(Link): The Sexualization of God and Jesus
(Link): Why So Much Fornication – Because Christians Have No Expectation of Sexual Purity
(Link): The Myth of the Gift – Regarding Christian Teachings on Gift of Singleness and Gift of Celibacy
(Link): False Christian Teaching: “Only A Few Are Called to Singleness and Celibacy” or (also false): God’s gifting of singleness is rare – More Accurate: God calls only a few to marriage and God gifts only the rare with the gift of Marriage
(Link): There is No Such Thing as a Gift of Singleness or Gift of Celibacy or A Calling To Either One
(Link): The Gift of Singleness – A Mistranslation and a Poorly Used Cliche’
(Link): Focus on the Family advice columnist perpetuates stereotypes about single women