Letter to Advice Columnist: Husband Upset That Wife Masturbates – Marriage Doesn’t Guarantee Hot Regular Sex For Both or Either Partner
Christians like to tell teenagers that they should stay virgins until marriage, because, if they do, married sex will be great and frequent.
The problem is, this is a lie.
Plenty of people, even people who were virgins at marriage, end up having crummy sex lives with their spouses, or none at all, or there is some other sexual issue going on that bothers one or both partners.
By the way, I do not consider masturbation a sin (the Bible does not discuss the topic at all, except in the case of the guy in the Old Testament who did it to avoid the Old Testament/Middle Eastern duty of getting his dead brother’s wife pregnant), but as some Christians do consider it selfish and sinful, I have included this post under the “married selfish people” tag category, and “married people sexual sin” category.
Also notice from this example that MARRIED women want SEX. They may not always want it with their spouse, but they do want it, contra to the Christian stereotype that married women are sex-less and only want cuddles and romance poetry.
Here’s another example that counters the Christian claim that married sex is always great and satisfying for both partners:
- Jan 2014
- A young woman asks E. Jean for tips on flying solo in her new marriage.
Dear E. Jean:
My brand-new husband of two weeks has a serious issue with me. He doesn’t approve of me— this is a delicate subject, so I am going to use one of your phrases— “strumming my own banjo.”
He’s truly God’s gift, everything I could wish for in a man and more, but he feels that because I sometimes pleasure myself, he’s not satisfying me.
Worse, he thinks it’s a form of cheating—an infidelity!
Is there a way to talk some sense into this otherwise intelligent man? Or am I doomed to secrecy?
my adorable moron: Doomed? Dang! If this isn’t the most deliciously dopey question I’ve received in 13 years.
A bride in particular requires frequent practice upon her instrument, yes, but you must never discuss banjo rehearsals with your husband. Never.
Unless he’s one of those amusing lads who like to be entertained with lusty confessions (but I don’t think he belongs to this league).
Indeed, I’m concerned by your hub’s rabid insecurity. Next he’ll be asking to read your e-mails and meet every man in your office. Take a stand now. Or those banjo pluckers will be snapped into steel cuffs.
(Link): Why Christians Need to Uphold Lifelong Celibacy as an Option for All Instead of Merely Pressuring All to Marry – vis a vis Sexless Marriages, Counselors Who Tell Marrieds that Having Affairs Can Help their Marriages
(Link): Rebound Guy and No Sex