Straight women benefit from having a Homosexual Best Friend Study Says (article) – What happens when everyone sexualizes everything
Here are my thoughts about that study:
One very large problem in most cultures today – and since I live in the United States and was raised in the United States, I am commenting as an American about Americans – is the sexualization of everything, even friendship. But I have noticed that Canadians, Brits, and Aussies have the same issue.
Even among American evangelical Christians, Baptists, Neo Reformed, and maybe not so surprisingly, Independent Fundamentalist Baptists, have also bought into what started as a secular (Non Christian) concept that men and women cannot be platonic friends with one another.
The Bible does not teach a concept that says men and women cannot be “just friends” or that a man and a woman’s friendship will always end in sex.
I’ve read the Bible cover to cover before, and I studied it off and on over the years, and there is not a single verse or passage that teaches this, particularly the New Testament.
From what I’ve read in history books, the Pharisees of Jesus’s day were suspicious and paranoid of women, so fearful of they of falling into sexual sin – to the point that they would cover their eyes if they saw a woman approaching… they would cover their eyes so as not to see the woman so as not to be tempted by her, and the result was some of them accidentally walked into walls.
Sad to say that American evangelical, Baptist, Fundamentalist, and Reformed and Calvinist Christians today have these same paranoid attitudes of gender relations in general, and towards females, in particular.
In Christian thought, and in much Christian teaching and sermonizing, and especially in Christian material about dating and marriage, females are sexualized and reduced to their genitals and sexuality by Christians.
(Except in some strains of American Christian thought, paradoxically, celibate Christian women over age of 25 are regarded at times as being ASEXUAL, of lacking sexuality.
You are thought of having sexuality only if you are engaging in sexual acts, a view I covered in a previous post.
As I remarked at that time, all persons are already sexual, or possess sexuality, at least when they come of age, regardless of how they choose to express it; that is, one does not have to be practicing sexual intercourse or other sex acts to be sexual).
Females, especially single ones and even including Christian ones, are regarded by Christians, as nothing but sexual temptresses – rather than as full fledged human beings with hopes, fears, thoughts, possibilities, goals, and dreams. They are reduced to one dimensional, card board, sexual cut-outs.
The Bible instructs Christians to fellowship with one another, and Christ goes out of his way to instruct Christians NOT to dwell on their flesh and blood, family of origin: Christ warned his followers of placing their earthly families above their spiritual one, and above him.
Christians are encouraged in the New Testament to fellowship with any and all believers, whether those other believers be young, old, middle aged, divorced, married, never married, or widowed.
What often happens in a nuclear family- obsessed and marriage-obsessed culture such as the United States is that families and married couples look inwards to each other for companionship, leaving those who are unmarried, childless, without any living flesh and blood family members, all alone year long.
You can read more about that here: (Link): Do Married Couples Slight Their Family Members as Well as Their Friends? / “Greedy Marriages”
So here we have this secular study suggesting that hetero, unmarried women should consider homosexual men as best friends.
I don’t completely object to hetero people being friends with homosexual ones, but I observe it’s another outcome and sad reality that American (and I’d say British) culture has so thoroughly sexualized all relationships that straight women cannot even be platonic friends with straight men. A hetero woman should not have to look only or solely to homosexual males as best friend material.
Hetero women should be able to be friends with hetero men, both married and single, without this suspicion hanging over their heads that they are really out to “score” with the guy.
Hetero women should be able to be friends with other hetero women and not be suspected of being lesbian, but there is that perception out there, which is why some Christian women do not get close to other women.
I have read online, in blogs and articles about dating and relationships, that some homosexuals, male and female, state they have fantasies of “scoring with” a known HETERO.
I have read lesbians on the internet say in comments under such articles that they are actively trying to “seduce” some hetero women they work with that they find attractive.
I would like to think that not all homosexuals sexualize everything in this manner, but given that I have in fact seen some of them admit openly online to trying to “seduce” a hetero, I would tell women who read this to be careful.
The advice in the article below says that hetero women should befriend a homosexual guy because he can help her find her ideal romantic partner – okay, maybe, but what if he is attracted to his hetero female pal’s crush and tries to seduce the crush, and even succeeds? That will likely hurt the woman’s feelings, make her question the crush’s sexuality, question the integrity of the homo friend, etc.
I just think it is truly shameful we are living in such hyper sexed times, that it’s gotten so bad, that straight women are being encouraged to skip trying to be pals with hetero men and skip straight to being buddy buddy with homosexual ones.
- – Straight women and homosexual men are the most natural allies
– Relationship characterised by a lack of sexual competition and deception
– Straight women more trusting of gay men over women or straight men
– Study by psychologists at Texas Christian University
– Findings published in Evolutionary Psychology
By MARTHA DE LACEY
PUBLISHED: 05:49 EST, 2 January 2014 | UPDATED: 10:24 EST, 2 January 2014
Will and Grace, Karen and Jack, Carrie and Stanford, Charlotte and Anthony… four great on-screen love stories of our time. And each completely platonic because all the men in question are gay.
But these four fictional pairings between straight women and homosexual men might actually represent the most natural, mutually-beneficial, rewarding, helpful and equal human relationship that can be achieved, according to scientific research.
Especially when it comes to finding a romantic partner.
Characterised by a lack of both competition and ulterior motives in terms of searching for a sexual partner or giving advice, the gay-man-straight-woman relationship is win-win, say psychologists at Texas Christian University, who published their study in Evolutionary Psychology.
Author Eric Russell and his colleagues claim the age-old unique relationship between the homosexual male and the heterosexual female serves a ‘biologically adaptive function’.
They say: ‘Because straight women’s relationships with straight men and other straight women are often tainted by deceptive motives related to mating interest or competition, respectively, we predicted that straight women would perceive mating-relevant information provided by a gay male to be more trustworthy than similar advice provided by a straight male or straight female.’
Similarly, ‘the sexual interest and competitive motives that may taint gay men’s friendships with each other are notably absent from their relationships with straight women’, said Scientific American, reporting the study.
The teamcarried out two experiments with participants during the study, exploring ‘a potential benefit hypothesized to be uniquely available to straight women and gay men in the context of these friendships: trustworthy mating advice’.
Experiment one revealed straight women perceive mating advice from gay men as more trustworthy than similar advice offered by a straight man or woman.
Experiment two demonstrated that gay men perceive mating advice offered by a straight woman to be more trustworthy than advice offered by a lesbian woman or another gay man.
The results provide initial experimental evidence that relationships between gay men and straight women may be characterized by a mutual exchange of mating-relevant benefits in the absence of romantic interest or competition.
Related post this blog:
(Link): How the Sexual Revolution Ruined Friendship – Also: If Christians Truly Believed in Celibacy and Virginity, they would stop adhering to certain sexual and gender stereotypes that work against both