Christians Are Following Secular Trends in Premarital Sex, Cohabitation Outside of Marriage, Says Dating Site Survey (survey/article)
“Christians Are Following Secular Trends in Premarital Sex, Cohabitation Outside of Marriage, Says Dating Site Survey”
You don’t say! *feigned shock*
Not only are many Christians no different from Non Christians in the divorce, shacking up, and pre-marital sex departments, but many Christians today are telling the wider Christian culture to stop preaching about sexual purity and virginity, while preachers are admitting that they don’t want to preach about or against sexual sin, since it may offend or hurt the feelings of folks in the pews, some of whom have engaged in sexual sin.
Here is a long excerpt (if you want the rest, you can you the link above):
- BY TYLER O’NEIL , CP REPORTER
January 27, 2014|8:45 am
A new study on Christian attitudes toward dating and marriage reveals a broad acceptance for cohabitation, premarital sex and a rejection of traditional gender roles. Experts believe that many Christians are following cultural trends over scripture when it comes to sex and marriage.
“Christians are perhaps more influenced by the culture than they are by the teachings of scripture or the church,” Peter Sprigg, senior fellow for policy studies at the Family Research Council, told The Christian Post in an interview on Friday.
According to the “2014 State of Dating in America” report published by Christian Mingle and JDate, 61 percent of Christians said they would have sex before marriage.
Fifty-six percent said that it’s appropriate to move in with someone after dating for a time between six months and two years.
Fifty-Nine percent said it doesn’t matter who the primary breadwinner of the family is.
And 34 percent responded that while it would be nice to marry someone of the same faith, it’s not required.
Interpreting this data, Sprigg shared his warning to Christians about dating sites. “Those who are active, committed Christians who believe in biblical values need to be cautious in using sites like Christian Mingle and not assume that others on the site share their values.”
Rachel Sussmann, a licensed psychotherapist and relationship expert, agreed with Sprigg that even those who consider themselves strong Christians make unbiblical decisions about sex.
“Oftentimes couples find this as something personal between the two of them,” Sussman explained. “Even if the church frowns on this behavior, they take it upon themselves to make an educated decision between the two of them.”
Sussmann paraphrased a common expression she hears from religious patients: “I practice what the church teaches me, but this is something personal between me and my partner.” The therapist commented that, in many ways, churches are “fighting an uphill battle because this is nature.”
According to Sprigg, “there may be a weakness on the part of churches” that explains the gap between sexual behavior and biblical standards. He described “a vicious circle,” where a pastor welcomes people regardless of their past sins, and then fails to preach biblical morality due to a fear of being considered too harsh.
“I would encourage pastors to speak bluntly and boldly about sexuality and a biblical view of sexuality and marriage,” Sprigg declared. He urged religious leaders to “not shy away from challenging the values of the culture.”
Rather than stressing biblical values, Sussmann focuses on communication, empathy and mutual understanding. “If one person wants to be abstinent and one doesn’t,” her job is to reconcile the two, no matter how difficult that might be.
Besides the natural desire, Sussmann explained that couples choose to cohabit and have sex before marriage in order to test what marriage would be like. “Everyone knows how high the divorce rate is, people are afraid of divorce, and a lot of people need to know if there’s a sexual spark,” she added.
Sussmann told CP she hasn’t seen research that shows premarital sex or cohabitation lead to divorce, although she admitted that studies on cohabitation are not conclusive.
Related posts, this blog:
(Link): False Christian Teaching: “Only A Few Are Called to Singleness and Celibacy” or (also false): God’s gifting of singleness is rare – More Accurate: God calls only a few to marriage and God gifts only the rare with the gift of Marriage
(Link): Being Equally Yoked
(Link): Pastor charged in wife’s murder was headed to Europe to marry boyfriend, prosecutor says – Single Xtian Ladies: Kick that Be Equally Yoked Teaching to the Curb! Also: Marriage and Parenthood do not make people more godly or mature or loving or ethical