Why Some People Become 30 Year Old Virgins (Article/Study)
That would be the newspapers’ headline, not mine. How does one “become” a virgin?
You are born one and “lose” your virginity when you have sex with someone. I don’t know why they worded their headline as they did.
You don’t “become” a virgin at age 30. You are either a virgin at that age or you are not.
One of the assumptions in the study is that people who are virgins past 30 may be so because they could not attract a partner.
That was not my problem. I was engaged at one point. My ex did want to have sex with me, but I told him up front, nope, there will be none of that.
About the only thing that idiot (my ex fiance’) would remark upon was my looks: he thought I was hot. Idiot boy never took an interest in me for me, my career, or anything.
Men have come up and flirt with me in bars, at school (in my college days, in high school), men have seen my photos at friend’s homes, said I was sexy, asked my friends if they could they meet me in person for a date, yada yada.
The reason I mention all this is that, sadly, it is a nasty assumption I see on blogs or sites, if a single woman (or man) says, “I’d like to be married (or get dates), but can’t seem to find anyone,” that it must be because she (or he) is overweight or ugly.
Even Christian bloggers make this assumption: if you write a comment to say you can’t seem to get a mate, some of them dole out the advice of,
“You need to lose weight, grow your hair long, and start wearing make up, sweetie.”
They say all this despite having no idea what you look like, you did not post a photo of yourself; that in reality, you are are 5’7″, 130 pounds, utterly gorgeous, and have been likened to a brunette Jayne Mansfield or Marilyn Monroe.
Nope, those sorts of bloggers and relationship advice gurus just assume you must have frizzy, ten foot high hair with birds nesting in it, acne pits all over your face, green skin, and you’re missing your two front teeth.
The study also cites “Lower cognitive performance” as another factor. No again, not for me; I maintained a GPA above 3.5 all during college, and made almost all straight A’s while in high school.
One of the positive things about this study is that it notes that older virgins DO in fact have SEX DRIVES. Up to half of the ones they studied.
In other words, it is false to teach, as Christians commonly do, that older virgins must have had their libido erased by God, who magically “gifted them” with celibacy. There are plenty of virgins over 30 who have a libido.
Here’s the link:
JAN. 31, 2014, 5:02 PM
by CHRISTINA STERBENZ
The longer you wait to have sex, the less likely you are to actually do it.
Of people who don’t have any sexual experience at age 18, 3% still didn’t have any sexual experiences by age 24 to 32, a new study, published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, found.
The study was the first of its kind to delve into the reasons why these people stay virgins into adulthood.
We traditionally think people “wait” to have sex later in life for religious reasons. Previous research has shown that’s true. But other reasons lead to extended virginity, too. Sex might not interest many adult virgins, potentially identifying them as asexual. Or they just can’t attract partners.
… Prior analyses have conflated two important terms: “technical” or “vaginal” virgins and actual virgins. The former may have abstained from vaginal sex to avoid potential negative consequences, like pregnancy or disease. But “actual” virgins have never engaged in any kind of sex — vaginal, oral, or anal.
… “Among those individuals who reported no sexual experience as adults, only half of both males and females reported never having experience a sexual attraction to either sex. These results were consistent with prior research indicating that asexuality and sexual inexperience are not one and the same,” the researchers wrote.
Many reasons cause people stay virgins, but the main factors “may have been [inability] to attract sexual partners or … little interest in sexual involvement,” the authors write.
In other words, they can’t get any or don’t want any.
Lower cognitive performance, obesity, lower alcohol use, lower parental educational levels, and lack of sexual attraction may have contributed to individuals’ sexual inexperience, as well.
… Late onset of puberty, however, only affected males. Non-Hispanic Asian males were also more likely to have sexual inexperience after age 18 than white male respondents.
Related posts this blog:
(Link): Why Are Young People Having So Little Sex? America is in a Sex Recession – by K. Jullian – via The Atlantic
(Link): Weak Argument Against Celibacy / Virginity / Sexual Purity by the Anti Sexual Purity Gestapo – Sexual Compatibility or Incompatibility – (ie, Taking Human Beings For Test Spins – Humans As Sexual Commodities) (Part 2)
(Link): Virgins and Celibates are Sexual – Not Asexual and Androgynous – You don’t have to have sex to possess sexuality – Duck Dynasty TV Show Star Phil Robertson Says Men Should Marry Girls ‘when they are 15 or 16’
(Link): Asexuality and Asexuals (which are not the same thing as celibate virgins)