Married Guy Convinced Monogamy For the Birds Ever Since His Wife Cheated on Him For Years – Sad Letter
This is just sad.
This guy’s wife had an affair for several years, now he thinks monogamy is a farce.
It is sad but also goes to show that the following Christian propaganda, which is very common among Christians, is false:
- 1. only singles sexually sin, marrieds never do
2. women are not interested in sex
3. married sex is “mind blowing” and/or will keep a spouse from straying
Letter to advice columnist Hax:
- Dear Carolyn:
While “happily married” to me, my wife fell in love with another man. Their affair lasted several years.
She stayed with me but was devastated when he dumped her.
I was devastated when she confessed. The damage to our marriage has taken years to heal, and it seems unlikely that we will ever reestablish the level of honesty and intimacy we previously shared.
Based on our and others’ experiences, I have concluded that our cultural obsession with monogamy is a destructive fairy tale. We can all experience love for more than one person at a time, and will likely do so over the course of our increasingly long lives. We respond by engaging in secret affairs, divorces (serial monogamy) and/or by channeling our frustrations into fantasy (pornography, prostitution).
The more honest among us promote “open marriage” or “polyamory” — difficult lifestyles to maintain, particularly in the face of religious prohibitions and community disapproval. What are your thoughts on this seemingly ageless human predicament? — J.
(Link): Why Christians Need to Uphold Lifelong Celibacy as an Option for All Instead of Merely Pressuring All to Marry – vis a vis Sexless Marriages, Counselors Who Tell Marrieds that Having Affairs Can Help their Marriages
(Link): Problems Created by Conservative Christian Teachings About Virginity, Sex, and Marriage: Christian Couple Who Were Virgins At Marriage Are Experiencing Sexual Problems – Re: UnVeiled Wife (Marriage does not guarantee great sex)