Bad News for Male Christians Over 30 Who Have Never Married – The Bill Gothard Scandal is Being Used to Stigmatize Never Married Adult Christian Men

Bad News for Male Christians Over 30 Who Have Never Married – The Bill Gothard Scandal is Being Used to Stigmatize Never Married Adult Christian Men

Please go back and see my last post ((Link): “Never Married Christians Giving Marital Advice – The Double Standard”) if you want to know who Bill Gothard is.

All I will say about Gothard here is that he’s over 70 years of age, a very famous Christian in certain circles, and he has never married.

A bunch of women who are now in their 40s or there abouts have been coming out of the woodwork to say the dude was inappropriate with them when they worked at his place when they were in their teens or 20s.

Even before I saw the “Love Joy Feminism” blog entry about Gothard on Patheos, I thought,

    • “Oh no. I bet as more and more blogs run with this sooner or later, people are going to make an issue out of the fact that the guy is over 30 and never married.

 

    This is going to be used to trot out the stereotypes that men who don’t marry past their 30s are perverts, or that singles should not be allowed to teach about marriage and sex.”

By the way, if you are a Christian and find yourself automatically assuming or suspecting a never-married Christian man past 30 of being a homosexual or child molester, you do not truly support virginity or celibacy.

In order to truly support either concept (virginity/ celibacy), that means you have to believe it is possible for adults to live by biblical ethics and to remain virgins their whole lives, even if they don’t have the “gift of singleness” (the Bible does not teach any such thing as “gift of singleness” or “gift of celibacy,” however; please search my blog to find posts about that topic).

If your knee jerk reaction is to see a never-married guy who is 45 years of age and think, “He must be gay or a child diddler!,” (or to see a never married 45 year old woman and think, “I bet she has wild sex with different men nightly”) you have just revealed that you do not believe that adult purity / virginity is a real thing, when the Bible teaches that both very much are.

I consider this knee jerk tendency by some people to assume never- married celibates are “kiddie diddlers” to be a form of Virgin- or Celibate- shaming, which is why I have tagged it as such in this post. Here you are living your life abstaining totally from sex (and if like me, wanting to get married and have sex with an opposite gender adult), but some people automatically suspect you of fondling children in the meantime.

Oh, by the way, I have read many news stories over the years of males as young as 14 or 15 raping or fondling children.

Here’s a recent news story of a male teen who was raping kids:
(Link): Tulsa Police Arrest Teen They Say Linked To Multiple Sexual Assaults

    • posted: Feb 06, 2014 10:04 PM CST

 

    • Updated: Feb 07, 2014 8:38 AM CST

 

    Ashlei King, News On 6 – bio

TULSA, Oklahoma – A Tulsa teenager is behind bars after police linked him to multiple robberies and sexual assaults.

Investigators said the 16-year-old was being held on 15 different complaints that range from kidnapping to first-degree rape.

The Tulsa Police Department said Dayquan Williams tried to run before he was arrested.

… Mears believed Williams is behind a series of attacks. He said one of the teen’s targets was the Agora Coffee House near 51st and Memorial.

I have read of men in their twenties who are serial child sexual abusers, but strangely, people tend to assume only guys over 40 fondle kids. Ergo, I have tagged this post with the words “ageist” and “ageism.”

(See also: (Link): How the Sexual Revolution Ruined Friendship – Also: If Christians Truly Believed in Celibacy and Virginity, they would stop adhering to certain sexual and gender stereotypes that work against both).

At any rate, I just knew that “OMG, Gothard has never married, of COURSE he was hitting on teen girls, I just KNEW IT!!” type attitudes would eventually start to surface.

Sure enough, from the Love Joy Feminism blog page,
(Link): “Bill Gothard, Sexual Predator”, we see these comments on the page by the blog owner such as:

    … Bill Gothard never married. In the years that I’ve been blogging, I’ve heard more than a few people comment on this. How odd that someone who makes his living off of preaching about godly family life never married!

It’s not like there would have been a shortage of picture-perfect Christian women who would have been honored to marry him, after all. Well, the reason Gothard never married is starting to come to light—and it’s very, very ugly.

[blog post then discusses allegations by females that Gothard was suggestive with them when they were kids]

… At least now we know why Gothard never married.

Now, I don’t think the lady who writes that blog means to frame the situation to say that all never-married men over 30 are pedophiles in the making, but I wish she had been a little more careful about her choice of wording. Or, one wonders, why does she find it pertinent in the first place that the man never married in the context of this story she is covering?

Gothard could have been a married man who had hit on teen girls. Remember this married preacher I’ve blogged about previously?:
(Link): Ex-mega church IFB pastor (who is married) Jack Schaap gets 12 years in teen sex scandal

We’ve seen plenty of news stories over the years of MARRIED preachers who rape or fondle teens and kids. Why do these people never look at 50 year old MARRIED men and think, “MMmmm, I bet he hits on teen girls?”

I already quoted studies in one old post on my blog that shows that there are higher percentages of child diddlers and child rapists among MARRIED men than there are singles, yet singles keep getting charged with the suspicion of being kiddie perverts. Why is that? Being married does not automatically confer godliness or sexual control on a person

By the way, a preacher – who was a married man himself- married a known pedophile off to a young woman. You can read about that (Link): here.

See, married people sometimes sin. They cheat, lie, abuse drugs, murder, abuse their wives, and some of them unfortunately like to sexually abuse children.

If all it took to keep a man free from sin was to get married, Jesus Christ would not have had to shed his blood on a cross 2,000 years ago.

If marriage kept a man out of trouble, our jails and courthouses today would not be filled to the rafters with crimes committed by married guys.

If you want to read more about Gothard:
(Link): Recovering Grace

    • And from that site, get a load of the (Link):

Dating Questions

    • adult employees of Gothard had to reply to, which reminds me of this IFB list:

 

    • (Link):

Independent Fundamentalist Baptist College Kid Friendship Permission Form – Christians lowering marriage rates due to their own stupid teachings about sex, dating, marriage, etc

UPDATE
March 1, 2014

(Link): Bill Gothard Placed on Administrative Leave After Allegations of Sexual Harassment

    Feb 28, 2014

Bill Gothard has been placed on administrative leave by board members of his nonprofit organization, Institute for Basic Life Principles, amid an investigation into allegations that he sexually harassed several women and young girls.

———————-
Related:

(Link): Stigmas and Stereotypes of Single Unmarried Men Over 25 or 30 Years of Age – They’re Supposedly All Homosexual or Pedophiles

(Link): Christian Stereotypes About Female Sexuality : All Unmarried Women Are Supposedly Hyper Sexed Harlots – But All Married Ones are Supposedly Frigid or Totally Uninterested in Sex

(Link): Christian Gender and Sex Stereotypes Act as Obstacles to Christian Singles Who Want to Get Married (Not All Men Are Obsessed with Sex)

(Link): Why So Much Fornication – Because Christians Have No Expectation of Sexual Purity

(Link):  What Happens to Men Who Stay Bachelors Forever, According To Science by L. Vinopal

Post below contains examples of married men, some Christians, who raped or molested adults or children:
(Link): Marriage Does Not Make People More Loving Mature Godly Ethical Caring or Responsible (One Stop Thread)