Quivering Family Duggar Girls Write Dating Book
I’m sure these are nice girls, but they’ve had the wool pulled over their eyes with naive, twisted ideas about dating, sex, and marriage by their gender complementarian- to- partriarchal upbringing, so I don’t think young ladies should necessarily take their dating advice.
I am obviously not opposed to them wanting to remain celibate until their wedding nights, but I believe I saw a blurb here or there where they said they don’t believe in kissing until marriage.
That is certainly their right, if that is their free choice, but I feel such teachings and beliefs are drastic and can lead to sexual or relational hang ups and issues in a marriage.
I just know that when or if news of this starts getting posted on atheist, ex Christian, liberal Christian, emergent, and post evangelical blogs, these young ladies will be mocked or ruthlessly insulted for wanting to stay virgins until marriage.
The guy who wrote the page “Jessa Duggar Is 21, Never Been Kissed, And Avoids ‘Sensual Thoughts’” wrote,
- The Duggars are the archetypal Conservative Christian family.
What makes him think that? Quiverfull is not archetypal of conservative Christians.
I’m still sympathetic towards conservative Christians on some matters, and during all the years I was one myself, I never would’ve agreed with some of the Quiverfull teachings.
There are some evangelicals and Baptists who regard Quivering as lunacy (eg, having boatloads of kids, the quasi Old Testament patriarchy practiced, no kissing before marriage, etc), an aberration, unbiblical, and a distortion or misapplication of biblical teachings and topics.
At least the Duggar girls are trying to dispel the Christian and secular misunderstanding that celibate adults are asexual, uninterested in sex, and don’t want sex (see (Link): this previous post for more on that).
Concerning: Where the one Duggar girl says in some of these interviews she still has desire for male companionship, though being celibate, and she thanks God for “being normal.”
I’m not entirely clear on how she meant that comment, but I can imagine in the hours and days to follow, as the ex Christian, atheist, post evangelical, secular feminist, and liberal Christian blogs get ahold of that comment, they will assume she meant that as some kind of insult against asexuals or homosexuals – though I doubt that is how the girl meant it.
That won’t stop her from getting flamed on such blogs, though. Sometimes some atheists, secular feminists, post evangelicals, liberal Christians, and the other groups invent things to get pissed at or offended by.
They will choose to read her remark in the worst possible way and drag her over the coals for it. I will be surprised if that does not happen.
I am also expecting the post evangelical, secular feminist, and other such blogs to get into (Link): Celibate and Virgin Shaming mode, tell us how it’s so ignorant for these young ladies to remain virgins until marriage, since they need to make sure their boyfriends are “sexually compatible” with them.
One of the Duggar girls says she and her sisters avoid sexual temptation by staying away from men entirely, which is not a good solution. I have blogged on that many times before.
For Christians to teach other Christians to avoid one gender entirely sets individuals up for sexual hang ups and relationship problems later in life, and it also keeps gender stereotypes afloat (such as, all men are horny horn dog potential rapists, all married women are frigid, all single women are horny Jezebels who screw around).
These stereotypes actually keep single men and women apart, hinders them from marrying, and has other negative ramifications.
Though I find it interesting you have a group of females here advocating that women should stay away from men. Usually, Christian males teach in their literature, blogs, or sermons, that single and married men say away from women to avoid sexual temptation.
- The Duggar sisters say in their new book that in spite of their Christian upbringing they still have “have a natural physical desire toward men.”
March. 11 (UPI) — The Duggar sisters opened up about their home’s Christian rules when it comes to dating in their new book Growing Up Duggar: It’s All About Relationships.
“It’s easy to put yourself into physical and moral danger and give into those emotions or sensual thoughts that promise pleasant, but only temporary, fulfillment,” the women reportedly say in the book, according to the Daily Mail.
They add that avoiding men altogether is the easiest way to avoid sin.
“By censoring our thoughts through the filter of God’s word, we will be able to recant any wrong thoughts or temptations that try to sneak in,” they say.
In spite of their Christian upbringing the sisters explained that they still “have a natural physical desire toward men” and that they “thank God for making us normal.”
The third Duggar daughter, Jessa, announced in September 2013 that she was dating fellow churchgoer Ben Seewald. Michelle Duggar said at the time that Jessa was allowed to “side hug” her boyfriend after they “were officially courting.”
- Jessa Duggar has co-authored a new book, together with three of her sisters, which explains their somewhat unusual outlook on life in general — and sex in particular.
Perhaps it would be more accurate to say “lack of sex,” since they reveal in the book Growing up Duggar that they avoid spending time with men in case they sin and have sex before marriage.
The four eldest girls of the Duggar clan, Jana, 24, Jill, 22, Jessa, 21, and Jinger, 20, say that “it’s easy to put yourself into physical and moral danger and give into those emotions or sensual thoughts that promise pleasant, but only temporary, fulfillment.”
They even extend their belief that sex is “original sin” to controlling what is in their thoughts when they are alone. “By censoring our thoughts through the filter of God’s word, we will be able to recant any wrong thoughts or temptations that try to sneak in.”
In spite of that, Jessa still insists that they “have a natural physical desire toward men” and say they thank God for making them “normal.”
Which raises the question of how to define “normal.”
The Merriam-Webster dictionary definition is “usual or ordinary or not strange; mentally and physically healthy.” On that basis, the actions and attitudes of Jessa Duggar and her sisters don’t really comply with the norms of American Society — from a strictly academic viewpoint.
For example, Jessa is currently dating fellow church-goer, Ben Seewald, and insists they stick to traditional religious dating rules.
This means avoiding physical contact of any description. To greet each other, they “side hug” (?)
Kissing will be saved for their wedding day!
Jessa reveals in the book that, as a teenager she had her own issues to deal with. She became increasingly introvert because she felt really insecure about how she looked, dressed, and acted:
“I had friends who were really beautiful, and whenever we were together I compared myself to them and always came up lacking something.
I felt so ashamed and awkward that I couldn’t even talk to anyone about my feelings. I felt overwhelmed and stuck in that negative mind-set.”
The Duggar family’s first TV appearance was in 2008 on TLC’s 17 and Counting. The series followed the life of Jessa’s parents, Michelle and Jim Bob, and their then 17 — now 19 — children.
The family has strong beliefs about issues such as contraception, home-schooling, and not wasting time using the internet or watching TV.
The Duggars are the archetypal Conservative Christian family. They are followers of the Quiverfull movement which “teaches that children are God’s blessing and that husbands and wives should happily welcome every child they are given.”
There can be few more committed adherents to that philosophy. Once, Jim Bob Duggar responded to criticism of his family’s lifestyle by saying, “People think we are overpopulating the world [but] we are following our convictions.”
So, Jessa Duggar is 21 — and “never been kissed.”
Hopefully, she will not be disappointed with what life has to offer in the future.
- By Amanda Crum
Jessa Duggar, the third daughter of Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar, has entered into a courtship with a boy from the family’s church and talks a bit about her family’s strict relationship rules in a new book co-written with her sisters.
The Duggar girls are forbidden from dating in the sense that most of us are familiar with; they must first enter a “courtship” with a boy, which includes chaperoned get-togethers and no kissing or other touching, other than what they call “side-hugs“. The family, who rose to fame on TLC when they were profiled for a one-off special that became a hit reality series, does not believe in birth control or sex before marriage and have strict guidelines regarding their teenagers and relationships.
“It’s easy to put yourself into physical and moral danger and give into those emotions or sensual thoughts that promise pleasant, but only temporary, fulfillment. By censoring our thoughts through the filter of God’s word, we will be able to recant any wrong thoughts or temptations that try to sneak in,” the sisters say in their book, “Growing Up Duggar”.
As for Jessa and her friend Ben Seewald, mom Michelle says the two are enjoying spending time together.
“Dad allowed them to do a side hug when they were officially courting,” Michelle said.. “Jessa and Ben have said that was the only contact they would have, when they initially greet each other, when he comes to visit for their first hello, they have a quick 30 second or less side hug and a goodbye side hug and they agreed that would be the only contact they should have.”
- March 11, 2014
“Courtship is a new season of life. It’s exciting,” Jessa said. “We call it dating with a purpose and not just frivolous, really considering the person as a potential life partner.”
Jill agreed, saying, “We talk about what we’re looking for [in the book]. Not just, ‘Oh, he’s a cute guy.’ But the heart of the matter. Is he going to be a good father? Is he slow to anger? We have a list in [the book] that helps girls think deeper than just the surface.”
Update March 14, 2014.
The Duggar girls were interviewed on today’s Christian show “The 700 Club” about this book.
I still so far have not seen this book discussed (as in mocked) yet on some of the more popular secular feminist, post evangelical, or ex Christians sites, and I am surprised. They are usually the first ones to jump all over this type of stuff to attack it.
Related posts this thread:
(Link): Weak Argument Against Celibacy / Virginity / Sexual Purity by the Anti Sexual Purity Gestapo – Sexual Compatibility or Incompatibility – (ie, Taking Human Beings For Test Spins – Humans As Sexual Commodities) (Part 2)