Southern Baptist’s New Sexist “Biblical Woman” Site – Attitudes in Total Face Palm of a Site One Reason Among Many This Unmarried and Childless Woman Is Saying Toodle-Oo to Christianity

Southern Baptist’s New Sexist “Biblical Woman” Site – Attitudes in Total Face Palm of a Site One Reason Among Many This Unmarried and Childless Woman Is Saying Toodle-Oo to Christianity

There are several reasons I am closer and closer to saying bye-bye to Christianity, but the continued insistence upon Southern Baptists, Neo Calvinists, and other Christian groups, on pushing sexism and codependency for women – under the headings of “gender complementarianism” or “biblical womanhood” – is just one more reason.

I am now blogging about a new site by Southern Baptists about “Biblical womanhood.” (Link to that site, with screen captures from it, is farther below.)

First, a preface: IT’S NOT JUST A WOMAN’S ISSUE

If you are a male, an unmarried male, you need to be concerned about this pushing of gender complementarianism to women. It impacts you as well, oh yes it does.

If you are a male, do not make the deadly mistake of thinking, “Aw, this is just about ladies, it is of no import for me, I am a dude!”

No, no, you couldn’t be more wrong because 1. (Link): this page and 2. they equally oppress, pressure, shame, and hound males who do not live up to their narrowly defined list of rules of what constitutes “biblical manhood.”

Just as gender complementarians limit and enslave women to following a very narrow set of 1950s- American- culturally influenced, un-biblical rules of what constitutes a godly woman (which often includes being married, submitting to a husband, and cranking out children), they do the same to men.

For example, and depending on what type of breed of gender complementarian we are discussing, they usually define “biblical manhood” to mean ‘MAN WHO IS MARRIED TO A WOMAN AND FATHER TO BIOLOGICAL CHILDREN.’

Some Christian biblical manhood advocates further tack on additional qualifiers of what constitutes “biblical manhood,” such as, “spiritual leader of wife,” “steadily employed with a big paycheck, so the wife can stay home all day,” and “manly man who drinks beer, belches loudly and often, and who watches cage fighting with great enthusiasm.”

Yeah.

So, if you are a single male, or you have never been a daddy, and if you do not care for American stereotypical manly man pursuits (e.g., football, NASCAR, copious amounts of beer drinking) and you even prefer artistic pursuits, such as painting and opera, and…

If you find yourself unable to support more than yourself on your pay check alone, you will be treated like a second-class citizen in most Baptist and Neo Calvinist churches.

You will be deemed a failure for not being biblically mannish enough by a host of gender complementarians.

I do find it telling that the Southern Baptists and other gender complementarians seem to expend more effort and time at talking about women’s roles, though.

They seem to crank out more books, sites, and so on, to convince women that being submitted doormats is really honest- to- gosh biblical and not the least demeaning, than they do in cranking out as much material convincing men to be Biblical Tough Guys.

Occasionally, they do, however – about a year ago, preacher Mark Driscoll and other preachers hosted an “Act Like Men” conference (link to that) which emphasized the idea that Christian men should be manly leader men, but it is my impression that conservative Christians are far more obsessed at keeping women in line more so than the males.

Even so, if you are a single, childless, un- or under- employed, or non- football obsessed male, you have a stake in this topic as well.

THE BIBLICAL WOMANHOOD SITE

The Southern Baptist “biblical womanhood” site, as of this writing (Apr. 2014) is a white and pink combination.

Yes, the web pages have a white background, but there is liberal usage of pink-colored fonts and headings all over the place.

Even their “biblical womanhood” logo contains pink. Screen capture of their site’s mast head:

Biblical Womanhood mast head screen shot
Biblical Womanhood mast head screen shot

Enough with pink already. I am a woman, but I have never liked pink.

Historically, by the way, pink was for boys and blue was for girls. Read (Link): this and (Link): this for more on that.

I am a woman. I have never liked pink. Even as a child, I did not find pink attractive, and it annoyed the piss out of me that companies and manufacturers went default pink on any product made for girls (and they would toss in rainbows and unicorns on the packaging, too. I’ve nothing against rainbows or unicorns, but I was never a horse or unicorn crazy girly girl, and I resented the notion, even at age ten, that I am SUPPOSED to like both just because I’m a girl.)

Anyway, leave it to a Southern Baptist site that is pushing “gender complementarian” roles to use pink as one of the site’s main colors. They couldn’t break the stereotypes and go with muted teals, greys, or dark red with gold, or other unexpected colors for a woman’s site, oh no, gotta stick with pink because PINK = GIRLY FEMININE! *Sigh.*

Where in the Bible does it say God defines the color pink as a biblical color for expressing womanhood? If that verse is in there, it must have escaped my attention, and yes, I have read the Bible all the way through.

Leave it to a Christian biblical womanhood, or gender complementarian, site that is intending to dispel the notion that gender complementarianism is sexist by… are you ready for this? by… upholding sexist stereotypes! – they do, right there on their site, examples to follow in this post.

First, you can read a page about the site here:
(Link): Seminary website lists aspects of ‘biblical womanhood’

Excerpts:

    By Bob Allen

  • A Southern Baptist seminary has released a statement by women and for women to counter misunderstanding and negativity that the authors say abound on what they call biblical womanhood.
  • Biblical Woman, online home for women’s programs at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Fort Worth, Texas, posted a 12-point statement March 27 outlining “the counter-cultural convictions that guide us as we strive to live out [God’s] wisdom for our world.”
  • An accompanying article introduces the Biblical Woman Statement as “a positive value statement about the 12 aspects of womanhood that impact us most.”

Another excerpt:

    The Biblical Woman Statement affirms “that every woman has been created in the image of God and is infinitely valued by and significant to Him.”

No, no, allow me to finish that statement to say what they really mean:

    The Biblical Woman Statement affirms “that every woman has been created in the image of God and is infinitely valued by and significant to Him….

  • to wash dirty dishes”
  • to be barefoot and pregnant through much of her life”
  • to never learn to be totally independent and make her own choices in life for herself and about herself”
  • to vaccum the carpeting while wearing a pearl necklace”
  • to allow a man, her husband, to totally define her identity and life for her”
  • to never serve in a teaching, leading, or pastoral role, even though there are examples of women in the Bible doing that very thing, and even though a woman may be more suited, gifted or talented at a particular duty than a specific male also contending for that spot”
  • to feel like a second class failure in life if she never marries and/or never had children”

In the past year, I have made the rounds on visitor comment sections on various sites and blogs pointing out that one, big gaping weakness in gender complementarism is that they only consider married female parents.

I then noticed one or two other women bloggers picked up my observation how women who do not fit the “married with children” demographic are usually ignored by gender complementarians, and they blogged about the issue as well.

Biblical Womanhood advocates never, or rarely, acknowledge that some women never marry and never have children.

Then, also, some married women are infertile; they never have children. Some women experience the death of their husbands and are single once more. Some women end up divorced, and hence, also single again. Do biblical womanhood advocates ever write material for women in these particular situations? Nope – or it’s pretty rare.

Apparently, some gender complementarians noticed my posts (or someone else’s) about how their position ignores single or childless women; this is another excerpt from the article, by Southern Baptist Biblical womanhood supporters:

    “We believe that God has given women and men distinctive roles within the family and the church; that these roles were intentionally created and given prior to human sin; that according to God’s design, these roles are interdependent but not interchangeable,” the statement says.
  • “Women are called to honor God in marriage by submitting to their own husbands voluntarily and purposefully,” the statement says.
  • It also affirms women who are unmarried, “that by their chaste and set-apart lives they may especially devote themselves to service in the Kingdom of God during either their season or lifetime of singleness.”
  • “We believe that every woman is called to make her home a place of service and that such service is ultimately to Christ,” the document says. “We believe that investing in the next generation is every woman’s task; that women are uniquely gifted to nurture, teach and train children; that children, as blessings from the Lord, are the most worthy investments for a woman’s energies whether as biological, adopted or spiritual children.”

The problem is, they are still downplaying single and childless females, even in this very statement where they claim to affirm women who are not married or who are not mothers!

Notice that in the remarks both before and after their comment where they say they support adult, single women, they are still defining a woman’s godliness or femaleness by whether or not she “gracefully submits” to a husband, and by defining her role as being “in a family” (i.e., if she is a wife and mother) and how “joyful” she is about playing the roles of wife and mother (if not in this particular case, I have seen the “how joyful a woman is” used as a barometer by complementarians on other sites or other contexts).

Gender complementarians (in reality, and to be more accurate, they are male hierarchists) have no real standard of measure for “biblical womanhood” for un-married and childless women, apart from the “chaste” one.

But we’re right back to the fact that groups such as this, and most churches, while they give “lip service” to chaste singles, do not really value singlehood or chastity (see this link), as most churches and gender complementarian groups emphasize teachings about and for, and fund, married couples and children’s programs, but do nothing to help, support, fund, or encourage adult singles, and certainly not celibate singles.

Most churches either cut funding for adult singles ministries altogether, or only toss paltry sums of money at them to meet their needs.

Southern Baptist proponents of biblical womanhood: if you truly believe in adult singleness and celibacy, then prove it by devoting as much time and money to both as you do to braying about wifehood, motherhood, and marriage. Put your money where your mouth is.

Another excerpt (again, from (Link): this page):

    The statement says “women are indispensable” to the life of the church, but their Christian service must be “according to biblical guidelines,” specifically “that women are exhorted to instruct and mentor other women.”

In other words, they expect women to bully other women into being churchy doormats.

Nope, no way, I won’t participate in sexism against other women like that, and certainly not under the claim it’s “godly” and “biblical” and has God’s support.

If I still went to church, I would be distributing free copies of gender egalitarian books to the young ladies and teaching them all the inconsistencies that reside in gender complementarianism. That would be my form of mentoring.

Here is a link to the site proper:
(Link): Biblical Womanhood (Southern Baptist site)

My thoughts about their site:
Oh geeze. Not only is the home page of their site currently illustrated with a woman sitting next to folded laundry and an iron, but the heading next to the photo is something like, “Did all my work really matter if nobody noticed.”

Screen Capture from Southern Baptist Biblical Womanhood Site
Screen Capture from Southern Baptist Biblical Womanhood Site

Unless they intend on balancing this image and story out next week with a similar piece, but illustrated with a photo of a woman in business attire in a professional office, behind a desk with paperwork on it, they are again implying that a woman’s only, or most suitable, role is stay at home wife -n- mom, which excludes ladies like myself who don’t fit either scenario.

I understand wanting to counter militant, secular feminist propaganda which tends to “talk smack” about and against SAHMism (Stay at Home Wife And Mother) as a choice for ladies, but these “biblical gender complementarian” guys go the other extreme direction with it.

You have one side of the debate insisting women should be nothing but a wife and mommy, while the other side thinks women should never marry, never have kids, and be obsessed with career.

Looking over the rest of the “Biblical Womanhood” site, I see it is meant to appeal to married mothers.

I see little to no material on the site for older, single, childless women, and for career women.

Here is a screen capture or two, with examples of what I mean:

Southern Baptists Claim to Support Single Women But All Their Material on Their Site is About Motherhood and Marriage
Southern Baptists Claim to Support Single Women But All Their Material on Their Site is About Motherhood and Marriage

Here is a screen capture of a Tweet from the site’s Twitter feed, with a link to one of their site’s articles – note that it’s about motherhood:

Screen shot from Twitter feed off Southern Baptist
Screen shot from Twitter feed off Southern Baptist “Biblical Womanhood” site

In spite of their spokesperson’s comments that they also support single, childless women, you can see in fact from their “biblical woman” website, they are again ignoring the needs and particular struggles of childfree, childless, and un-married ladies.

Much of their “Biblical Woman” site’s content assumes the woman reading it is married with children, or even wants to be married or wants to have children.

BIBLICAL WOMANHOOD = HANDICRAFTS AND SOUPS? WHAT ABOUT MOTORCYCLES?

I am not saying there is anything wrong with a woman being into cooking and crafting, but that this “Biblical womanhood” site contains only, or predominantly, June Cleaver-ish, stay at home wife and mother, stereotypical feminine pursuits – where they seem to assume all women are interested in handi-crafts, sewing, using glue guns to paste together pipe cleaners to pine cones, and making various soups – is insulting, and yes, rather sexist.

I’ve been interested in motorcycles since childhood and was considering saving up money eventually to buy myself a motorcycle at some point in life.

I enjoy watching the television program “Counting Cars,” especially where the guys on the show work on motorcycles or talk about them. I like watching Mike on “American Pickers” find antique motorcycles and talk about them.

Evel Knievel
Evel Knievel

I loved Evel Knievel back in the day. As a kid, I wanted to be like Knievel and ride a mororcycle over rows of cars. I did not want to wear a pink, frilly dress and bake cookies as an adult.

For me personally (I said me personally, I am not putting down women who do like to bake cookies and be mothers):

    -Jumping cars on motorcycle = cool and exciting

-Being stereotypical wife and mom who bakes cookies all day = lame and boring

Will this Southern Baptist Biblical Womanhood site ever publish a blog post for women such as, “Ten Tips To Consider When You Are Considering Purchasing a Motorcycle,” “Photos and Information About Twenty Awesome Motorcycle Models,” or, “An Essay on the Life of Evel Knievel”? Probably not.

They think that all women only want to bake casseroles, knit mittens, and sip tea by the fireplace.

Even if they did publish such a post, it would be a token; it would be out-numbered easily by fifty thousand soup recipe pages, or eye liner tips.

WREATHS, JAMS, AND SOUPS = BIBLICAL WOMANHOOD?

Currently on their “DIY” (do it yourself) pages are these headings:

    • DIY Wednesday: Blackberry Freezer Jam
    • DIY Wednesday: Custom Coasters
    • DIY Wednesday – Martha Stewart-Inspired Wintery Wreath
    • DIY Wednesday: Cute Christmas Gift Ideas
    • DIY Wednesday: Autumn Leaf Garland
    • DIY Wednesday: Pumpkin Pancakes
    DIY Wednesday: Roasted Corn, Turkey and Poblano Chowder

I don’t comprehend. Not only are there women who are not into what some might think of as girly pursuits, such as canning jam, or making drink coasters and “Martha Stewart wreaths”, but where in the Bible does it say God Himself defines womanhood as being “women who are totally into handi-crafts and making wreaths”.

Who is really defining Biblical Womanhood here, the Southern Baptists, vis a vis American 1950s culture, or God? I don’t think it’s God.

BIBLICAL WOMANHOOD ADVOCATES PUSHING BEAUTY TIPS – NO DIFFERENT FROM COSMO MAGAZINE

For all the gender complementarian insistence that we women should care about our “inner” beauty and how God sees us, they oddly pursue making women insecure about their physical appearance, and at that, usually to attract or keep a man. I wrote about this before, in posts such as: (Link): Gender Complementarian Product for Females: Don’t Base Your Value on Your Looks, but Wait, Yes, You Should

If you visit the Biblical womanhood site right now, currently on their home page is this (screen capture is below):

Fit Tip Tuesday: To Snack or Not to Snack? (the link to the page – they changed their site around; the link is now here)

Screen Shot From Southern Baptist Biblical Womanhood Site
Screen Shot From Southern Baptist Biblical Womanhood Site

Why are they doing this? Why are they providing dieting tips, and under the heading “Fat Tips?” They could not even bother to title this “Health Tips,” but have to label it “Fat Tips.”

Secular culture already inundates women enough to be insecure about their looks and obsessed about their bodies and weight, why is this “Christian” group playing into this? What is “biblical” about causing women to dwell even more on being fat or not being fat or how not to be fat? That is a topic that consumes secular women’s magazines.

Where in the Bible does God define “biblical womanhood” to mean “be skinny, ladies.”

Telling women on the one hand that they are valued by God for simply who they are or that Jesus loves them (as gender complementarians often do), but then turning around and giving them “fat articles” and beauty tips sends a conflicting message that at least part of their worth and value resides in their physical appearance.

I could explore their site even more – there is an “About” page, an essay talking about Sarah Bessey’s “Jesus Feminist” book, something called an “Equip” page and other pages, but I do not have the fortitude to wade my way through any more of their site. Their site reminds me of typical sites for Christian singles, similar to what I wrote about here:
(Link): The Cloying Annoying Nauseating G-Rated Wholesome Saccharin Sweet Tone of Articles by Christians For Christian Singles – Christian Material For Singles is LAME

Anyway, the Southern Baptist “Biblical Womanhood” site is a big sexist fail. The attitudes and opinions conveyed in much of the material is also an embarrassment to Christianity.

May 2015 Edit. I have added a few comments or critiques about the Southern Baptist’s “Biblcal Womanhood” site’s page about sexual purity on this other blog post of mine:

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Related posts this site:

(Link): The Irrelevancy To Single or Childless or Childfree Christian Women of Biblical Gender Complementarian Roles / Biblical Womanhood Teachings

(Link): The “Feminization” of the Church by K R Wordgazer

(Link):   Pastor Actually Questions, in the Year 2017, If It’s Acceptable for Mothers to Work Outside of the Home

(Link): Never Married Christians Over Age 35 who are childless Are More Ignored Than Divorced or Infertile People or Single Parents

(Link): The Netherworld of Singleness for Some Singles – You Want Marriage But Don’t Want to Be Disrespected or Ignored for Being Single While You’re Single

(Link):  Depressing Testimony: “I Was A Stripper but Jesus Sent Me A Great Christian Husband”

(Link): Isn’t It Time the Church Gave Singles a Break? (editorial from another blog)

(Link): Singles Shaming at The Vintage church in Raleigh – Singlehood Shaming / Celibate Shaming

(Link): Christian TV Personality ( Jimmy Evans ) Says You Cannot Meet God’s Destiny For Your Life Without A Spouse = Anti Singleness Singlehood Singles Bias Prejudice Making Idol out of Marriage

(Link): Population Decline and Bay-bee Obsession – Patriarchy, Quiverfull, Traditional Family, Christian Gender Complementarian Nuts

(Link): Why I Now Reject “Be Equally Yoked” – and on Becoming More Agnostic

(Link): Why Unmarried – Single Christians Should Be Concerned about the Gender Role Controversy

(Link): A Grown-Up, Not Sexed-Up, View of Womanhood (article) – how Christian teachings on gender and singlehood contribute to raunch culture and fornication etc

(Link): Why Stay-at-Home Moms Are More Depressed Than Working Moms (article) -Intersting- yet Christians hold up Motherhood (especially SAHM – Stay At Home Mommydom) as Being a Woman’s Only Godly, Worthwhile, or Legitimate Calling In Life

(Link): Southern Baptists (who don’t TRULY support sexual purity) Announce 2014 Sex Summit

(Link): Christian Gender Complementarian Group (CBMW) Anti Virginity and Anti Sexual Purity Stance (At Least Watered Down) – and their Anti Homosexual Marriage Position

(Link): Christian Gender Complementarian Group Teaching That There Will Be Marriage in Afterlife and That Women Must Submit To Males in Heaven (post at Spiritual Sounding Board)

(Link): Additional Rebuttals to CBMW Gender Complementarian Heresy and Travesty That Declares All Females Must Submit To All Males In Heaven

(Link): Modesty Teachings – When Mormons Sound like Christians and Gender Complementarians

(Link): Gender Complementarian Advice to Single Women Who Desire Marriage Will Keep Them Single Forever / Re: Choosing A Spiritual Leader

(Link): When Mormonism Sounds Like Gender Complementarian Christianity – Also: Man Shortage in Mormonism Just Like Christianity

(Link): Christian Gender and Sex Stereotypes Act as Obstacles to Christian Singles Who Want to Get Married (Not All Men Are Obsessed with Sex)

(Link): How Christian Teaching on Gender Roles and Sex Can Mess People Up in Adulthood (from Wine and Marble blog, post by a former Christian guy)
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Related material on other sites:

(Link): Preacher Mark Driscoll: Single men “cannot fully reflect God”

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7 thoughts on “Southern Baptist’s New Sexist “Biblical Woman” Site – Attitudes in Total Face Palm of a Site One Reason Among Many This Unmarried and Childless Woman Is Saying Toodle-Oo to Christianity”

  1. I can so understand your position…this has been my life the last 25 years…trying to reconcile who I KNOW God to be(from years of experience and prayer…and common sense) and the things taught in the conservative Christian church regarding women. I am 48 now, was not raised in the church per se but my parents were (also raised in the south- another whole layer of sexism). My mom and dad taught me to think for myself, work hard and be honest. I worked hard to earn two degrees from a top notch university and I am a now professional and have a challenging career. But along the way I’ve had some major life questions and crises that led me to seek God and learn about Christianity personally and intimately. I spent the last 25 years in and out of the conservative PCA denomination, similar to SBC, but a little more polished in there sexist theology. I have finally come to a place of knowing that Gods true character is, first of all, love…love for God (Jesus as paragon/model)…love for others and love for self. God sees both genders as totally equal…it is a man-made paradigm, based on the inherit “sin nature” or some might say the animal nature ( I now call it the “inner ape” that we are all born with). Just like in chimp society, the most dominant and aggressive male is the alpha male. If humans have not risen above their nature (animal or sin nature) and discovered God’s higher purpose for us, they will still live by this low nature. Jesus never dwelled on gender roles and, as you said, their are MANY examples of women doing extraordinary things in the bible that “modern” Christians seem to completely ignore. This is a perversion of the true nature of Jesus and of God.,

    1. Thank you for your comments.

      I do agree Jesus did not seem quite so obsessed with gender roles – and he actually broke the gender cultural norms of his day. He treated women as equals, not as ignorant, not as sexual temptresses, not as delicate little weak flowers – which is so unlike a lot of Christian churches and denominations today.

  2. I agree with most of your points (could be all, but I’m neurotic about precision and don’t have a whiteboard at hand!) and used to feel as angry as you do. Now, 7 years after I left a non-denominational conservative church that believed about half of the things that the southern baptists teach and started worshiping with an inclusive, egalitarian, Jesus loving group I can say that I am mostly healed. Leaving Christianity is not an option for me, mostly because I don’t believe that the SBs believe what God does. I am all about leaving complimentarians behind, but it would be much too high a price to leave the faith that makes me whole. No amount of sexism should be given that power over my spiritual life.

    1. I hope to be able to be in your shoes one day. I don’t want to leave my faith behind either, yet I’m starting to think that a nondenominational conservative evangelical church is not my thing. I’m still on a journey to find a church that makes me feel as healed as you do today.

  3. I am a female clergyperson who is not at all good at crafts, dislikes pink, and HATES the whole discussion that seems to have taken over the church in the last few decades about what is “many” and what is “feminine” and how to measure up. I just want to applaud this post, tell you that I am wincing, groaning, and sometimes nearly in tears about these issues–and to say that Christianity is about much more than this kind of SBC drivel. Don’t give up. And if you never have, take a look at the website for Christians for Biblical Equality at http://www.cbeinternational.org

  4. Good write up and I agree with you. The SBC has been taken over by the Young, Restless, Reformed movement, and as a result they have become very legalistic. This is the same group that pushed courtship with SGM. In fairness, there is at least 1 SBC megachurch in my area (I don’t live in the Bible belt) and the pastor is very friendly and his sermons hit home. He totally rejects the YRR movement. But the SBC as a whole is moving in this direction.

    It appears that you have a background in the SBC, and there are many more churches that represent Christianity besides the SBC. For example, Calvary Chapel, Narazene, Wesleyan, Church of God. These are some of the churches I visit and have met some really wonderful people and really been inspired by the messages. Have you considered visiting some of the larger churches in your area as a visitor and observing the things that you like and don’t like. I grew up in a very legalistic environment, and it was not until I began seeing how people live in “the real world” that I could get a hold of how God wants us to represent him. You might also check out the Lee Strobel video “The Case For Christ” on YouTube. The book and movie completely changed my view of Christianity.

    I like Evil Knievel as well (I remember him jumping buses nearby at Kings Island when I was a child). You might want to check “Hour of Power Evil Knievel” on YouTube and you will hear the decision he made before he died. I am not saying that you have to agree with it, but I think you will find it challenging. A life lived in the world is not all it is cracked up to be.

  5. Hello Pundit. We chatted a while back, I used the name Godsviking, do you remember? Anyway I left that church I was going to and I’m glad I did. Being single got me volunteered a lot and God forbid I sleep in on my day off. The final nail in the coffin was being asked to pick up a stranger and bring him to church, a stranger that was an ex-con and the pastor was “Pretty sure he killed someone while he was locked up”. I refused because I felt unsafe, he accused me of judging the man, I wouldn’t budge on my decision, and left. I don’t regret it.

    I’m becoming more and more “done” with church. I’ve been visiting a friend’s church for a month, the only reason is that the pastor and his wife didn’t meet each other until he was 28 and she was 33. They’re in their 40’s now. He’s actually empathetic towards my situation. I’ve never had empathy from a pastor before. He told me singleness to him was a plight and didn’t water it down or talk about it being a blessing in disguise. Even so I’m not seeking to join a church or be part of it in any way that is at all significant.

    Right now I’m trying to do something I’ve never really done which is living my life the way I want, within my means of course. I’ve actually gone on a few dates since we last messaged, sadly it didn’t go anywhere but at least it was SOMETHING. Better than sitting on my ass that’s for sure. Being assertive works! Who knew? Granted I average 1 “yes” for every 9 “no’s” so there’s still rejection but it’s getting easier to deal with.
    I no longer only date other Christians, not sure I want to date a Christian honestly unless I met a woman as disillusioned as I am. I still believe in the divinity of Jesus, that’s the only thing that’s making me a Christian right now. I actually find myself getting along with non-christians better, enjoying their company more. I’m tempted to delete almost every married Christian woman on my Facebook because I’m so tired of Instagram photos of Bibles and coffee. I’m glad I’m putting myself out there but it can be emotionally exhausting at times.

    I wanted you to know that I have a cousin in her mid 40’s, single all her life, finally has a boyfriend and they’ve been together 2 years. It’s encouraged the hell of me, I hope it does you too. I think about you time to time wondering how you are. I still hope you meet someone great. I really, really do.

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