Brief Critique of the J. Daly editorial: Does Casual Sex Empower Women?

Brief Critique of the J. Daly ed: Does Casual Sex Empower Women?

In the midst of looking up Jim Daly’s contact information (so I could tweet him a link of my previous page), I found this linked to on his Twitter page (he wrote it):

(Link) Does Casual Sex Empower Women? by Daly

Here is the part that caught my attention:

The cultural impact of casual sex

Sadly, the cheapening of sex is having a long-term impact on marriage… which, in turn, negatively impacts parenting. It’s a tragic chain-reaction of events that work together to undermine the institution of family.

I know that Focus on the Family has a new family-centric film to promote ((Link): unfortunately), and I see the heading there says “cultural impact,” but Mr. Daly, the fact is, some women never marry and never have children, including Christian women.

The Bible does not say God promises all women a marriage partner not even the ones who pray for one and who want one.

If you see my previous post (link), you can see the stats on the number of singles in America.

Many women today are staying single these days, some against their wishes.

(That’s right, the typical conservative Christian canard that women are choosing to stay single because they hate marriage, hate men, or put career above marriage, or had tons of marriage proposals but turned them all down because they were too picky, are false).

There are plenty of Christian women such as myself (though I am half-agnostic now), who were raised in church and by Christian parents to expect, plan for, and count on marriage.

I had hoped for marriage. I still find myself single. I did not plan on being never-married into my 40s. I may never marry.

I am still a virgin. I have never had children.

The church does not support adult virginity – they ignore or shame adult celibate singles (a few links with examples of that can be found at the end of this post, and all over this blog if you search).

It makes no sense, and I see no biblical support, to suggest the only or main reason to argue against casual sex is on the basis of how it may “impact marriage and family.”

The Bible suggests that sexual sin is a sin against one’s body (that’s right, “Viking From York” guy who keeps wanting to argue otherwise on my blog), a sin against the collective body of Christ, and against God himself.

No where does Paul argue in the Scripture, that I can recall, that one should refuse to indulge in sexual sin because of the effect it may have on “culture” or “family” or “children.”

Does sexual sin have an impact on culture or the 1953 June Cleaver nuclear family model (which many conservative Christians have turned into an idol)? Perhaps… but that is not really the main or only reason to point to.

I addressed that a bit in this post:
(Link): Misuse of Terms Such As “Traditional Families” (or “family values”) by Christians – Re: Kirk Cameron, Homosexual Marriage, and the 2014 Grammys

By the way, being married does not keep people from sexually sinning.

I have many, many posts on this blog with links to news stories of married Christian preachers who were caught or arrested for raping women, having affairs, molesting children, or looking at porn. You can read examples (Link): here.

Here are a few additional posts that are related to marital sexual sins or problems (I have many, many more stories like this on my blog, these are just a couple):

(Link): Why Christians Need to Uphold Lifelong Celibacy as an Option for All Instead of Merely Pressuring All to Marry – vis a vis Sexless Marriages, Counselors Who Tell Marrieds that Having Affairs Can Help their Marriages

(Link): Perverted Christian Married Couple Wants to “Wife Swap” (For Sex) With Other Christian Couple – Why Christians Need to Uphold Chastity / Celibacy For All People Even Married Couples Not Just Teens

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Related posts this blog:

(Link): If the Family Is Central, Christ Isn’t

(Link): Guest on Christian Radio Show, Focus on the Family’s Mr. Daly, Claims Churches and Culture Don’t Spend Enough Money and Attention on Marriage and Family – Should I Laugh or Cry?

(Link): Do You Rate Your Family Too High? (Christians Who Idolize the Family) (article by Ben Patterson)

(Link): Family as “The” Backbone of Society? – It’s Not In The Bible

(Link): Christian Stereotypes About Female Sexuality : All Unmarried Women Are Supposedly Hyper Sexed Harlots – But All Married Ones are Supposedly Frigid or Totally Uninterested in Sex

(Link): When Women Wanted Sex Much More Than Men – and how the stereotype flipped

(Link): Atlantic: “The case for abandoning the myth that ‘women aren’t visual.’”

(Link): Joshua Rogers of Boundless / Focus on the Family Attacks Biblical Teaching of Virginity Until Marriage

(Link): The Christian and Non Christian Phenomenon of Virgin Shaming and Celibate Shaming

(Link): No, Christians and Churches Do Not Idolize Virginity and Sexual Purity (they attack both concepts)

(Link): Anti Virginity Editorial by Christian Blogger Tim Challies – Do Hurt / Shame Feelings or Sexual Abuse Mean Christians Should Cease Supporting Virginity or Teaching About Sexual Purity

(Link): Singles Shaming at The Vintage church in Raleigh – Singlehood Shaming / Celibate Shaming

(Link): Christian TV Show Host Pat Robertson Disrespects Virginity – Says Pre-Marital Sex Is “Not A Bad Thing”

(Link): Where Are America’s Virgins? Discouraging the Virtuous / Sex and Never Married Single Christians / by Julia Duin

(Link): Christian pastor Douglas Wilson and Christian Response FAIL to Sexual Sin – No Body Can Resist Sex – supposedly – Re Celibacy

(Link): Christians Who Attack Virginity Celibacy and Sexual Purity – and specifically Russell D. Moore and James M. Kushiner

(Link): Is The Church Failing Childless Women? by Diane Paddison

(Link): The Isolating Power of Family-Centered Language (How churches exclude singles and the childless) by E A Dause

(Link): False Christian Teaching: “Only A Few Are Called to Singleness and Celibacy”

(Link): Focus on Family spokesperson, Stanton, actually says reason people should marry is for ‘church growth’ (this is a false teaching, not biblical)

(Link): Mefferd Guest Focus on the Family Spokesperson Stanton Incredulous that Preachers Push Kids To Marry Early (they do)

(Link): Gift of Singleness Gift of Celibacy Unbiblical – Those Terms and Teachings Contribute to Fornication / Editorial About Sex Surrogates

(Link): The Myth of the Gift – Regarding Christian Teachings on Gift of Singleness and Gift of Celibacy