Editorial at Christianity Today ActuallySuggests that It Takes Motherhood To Make A Woman Become Mature / Also: Homeless Mother Stays In Hotel Room and Makes Her Toddlers Sleep on the Street
My standard disclaimer (for any newbies of this blog):
- I am NOT anti-motherhood, nor am I “anti traditional family.” If women choose to have children, that’s fine, that’s their right.
I am, however, opposed to the situation where Christians elevate parenthood (and marriage) to the point they have turned it into an IDOL, a biblical command, or imperative for all women, and exclude or shame women who are child free or infertile (and/or not married).
A lot of Christians like to harbor stereotypes that childless or child free women are cold, heartless, not as godly and mature as mothers.
Yes, there was recently an editorial at Christianity Today by a mother who went on about how she wasn’t truly grown up until she had a child.
As one commentator on the editorial noted, that view flat out contradicts another editorial on the same site (which I wrote of (Link): here).
But I present to you another news story that shows a mother who neglected or mistreated her own children (link to that farther below).
I have, over my childless, never-married life, shown more compassion to homeless and/or injured animals I’ve come across on the streets than this woman did to her own children-
Yet Christians have the nerve to suggest that women like me who never have children are not as “mature” or “loving” or compassionate as this woman who merely had sex and used her vagina.
Big, hairy, freaking deal. Any woman can reproduce (excluding ladies with health problems, which leaves them infertile, obviously). It takes another sort of woman entirely to be responsible for someone smaller and weaker than herself.
First, here is the editorial which I found nauseating, as it is once again in the Christian ethos suggesting that maturity is impossible unless one marries and has a child:
(Link): I Didn’t Grow Up Until I Became a Mom
- by Amy Julia Becker
I thought I was a mature adult, and then I had a baby
…But in our late twenties, my husband Peter and I started inching towards pregnancy. Three kids later, it turns out I was right to be worried. Becoming a mother has made my life harder. It has unraveled me. And it has started to grow me up.
…I used to sometimes choose to be “selfless.” I would bring meals to people who were sick.
…Then I had a baby. And I had no choice but to give of myself to her. She offered very little, other than more needs, in return. Even eight years later, with kids who are out of diapers and rarely wake up in the middle of the night, I still have no choice but to help them a lot.
…I don’t serve my kids because I’m making some beneficent choice to do so. I serve them because I have to. Because they need me. Because I’m their mom. And those acts of involuntary service have helped me let go of my self-importance, at least a little bit.
Next, by comparison, we have this story:
(Link): Homeless Woman Leaves Her Toddlers in Bushes While She Sleeps in Motel
(Link): Homeless mom Chardenea left her toddlers to sleep in bushes for a week while she slept in nearby motel
- By DAVID MCCORMACK
PUBLISHED: 09:53 EST, 7 May 2014
-Chardenea VanRooyen, 27, faces child endangerment charges after admitting to leaving her two young children to sleep in bushes
-The mother said she stayed in hotel rooms in Modesto, California, for almost a week while the children stayed with their father in the bushes
-She told police that she came to meet her family for dinner but that her boyfriend had then left
-Her 3-year-old daughter and 1-year-old son have been placed in the custody of child protective services
(Link): Modesto woman arrested after children found sleeping in bushes
- BY ERIN TRACY
May 5, 2014
A Modesto woman was arrested Saturday night after officers say she admitted that her two young children had been sleeping in bushes along McHenry Avenue for a week.
Officers were called to a parking lot shared by Wendy’s and Denny’s north of Coolidge Avenue on a report of a baby left alone in a stroller about 11:15 p.m., said Modesto police spokeswoman Heather Graves.
Officers located Chardenea VanRooyen, 27, sleeping in the bushes with her 3-year-old daughter and 1-year-old son.
Graves said VanRooyen told officers that the children had spent about five nights sleeping in the bushes with their father while she stayed in other people’s rooms at two McHenry Avenue motels.
“She said she can’t stay there because she can’t see her children staying in the bushes,” said Graves. “When officers asked why she doesn’t take the children with her to the hotel, she just says again she doesn’t want to see her kids sleeping in the bushes.”
Graves said officers offered to take VanRooyen and her children to a homeless shelter, but she refused.
(Link): How Christians Have Failed on Teaching Maturity and Morality Vis A Vis Marriage / Parenthood – Used as Markers of Maturity Or Assumed to be Sanctifiers – Also: More Hypocrisy – Christians Teach You Need A Spouse to Be Purified, But Also Teach God Won’t Send You a Spouse Until You Become Purified
(Link): Parenthood Does Not Make People More Loving Mature Godly Ethical Caring or Responsible (One Stop Thread)
(Link): Is The Church Failing Childless Women? by Diane Paddison
(Link): A Grown-Up, Not Sexed-Up, View of Womanhood (article) – how Christian teachings on gender and singlehood contribute to raunch culture and fornication etc
(Link): Un Happy Mother’s Day – universal church continues to worship parenthood, family
(Link): Mother Charged with Three Murders (her own kids) – in London, April 2014
(Link): Kook Christian Groups / Individuals and Their Nutty Beliefs on Pro Creation and What Constitutes Being Unequally Yoked
(Link): Why Christians Need To Stress Spiritual Family Over the Nuclear Family – People with no flesh and blood relations including Muslims who Convert to Christianity – Also: First World, White, Rich People Problems
(Link): Mother’s Day Ain’t A Happy Holiday For Some
(Link): Family as “The” Backbone of Society? – It’s Not In The Bible
(Link): Misapplication of Biblical Verses About Fertility (also mentions early marriage) – a paper by J. McKeown
(Link): Why all the articles about being Child Free? On Being Childfree or Childless – as a Conservative / Right Wing / Christian
(Link): Sorry, but being a mother is not the most important job in the world by Catherine Deveny
(Link): The Irrelevancy To Single or Childless or Childfree Christian Women of Biblical Gender Complementarian Roles / Biblical Womanhood Teachings
(Link): Loving the child-free people in your church by S. Burden
(Link): Don’t Judge Me, I’m Childless (from Today’s Christian Woman)
(Link): Christian Patriarchy Group: God Demands You Marry and Have Babies to Defeat Paganism and Satan. Singles and the Childless Worthless (in this worldview)
(Link): Motherhood Does Not Make Women More Godly or Mature (Mother Suffocates New Born and Shoves It In Toilet)
(Link): Widows and Childless and Childfree Have Better Well Being Than Married Couples and Parents says new study (from 2013)
(Link): In terms of childlessness, US ranks near the top worldwide
(Link): Bearden: Staying childless right decision for many women
(Link): Condescending Remarks About Single and Childless Women on Christian Gender Complementarian Site: ‘Motherhood or Singleness: Which Is More Sanctifying?’
(Link): My Secret Grief. Over 35, Single and Childless by Melanie Notkin
(Link): Greedy, Entitled Mother Expects Her Childless Friend to Buy Daughter Computer, DVD Player, or Digital Tablet
(Link): The Fruitful Callings of the Childless By Choice (editorial)
(Link): Are Older Men’s Sperm Really Any Worse? (study) Also: article author assumes men single and/or childless until their late 30s and older are probably autistic, retarded, or drooling simpletons
(Link): The Isolating Power of Family-Centered Language (How churches exclude singles and the childless) by E A Dause
(Link): Southern Baptist’s New Sexist “Biblical Woman” Site – Attitudes in Total Face Palm of a Site One Reason Among Many This Unmarried and Childless Woman Is Saying Toodle-Oo to Christianity