Editorial at Christianity Today ActuallySuggests that It Takes Motherhood To Make A Woman Become Mature / Also: Homeless Mother Stays In Hotel Room and Makes Her Toddlers Sleep on the Street
My standard disclaimer (for any newbies of this blog):
- I am NOT anti-motherhood, nor am I “anti traditional family.” If women choose to have children, that’s fine, that’s their right.
I am, however, opposed to the situation where Christians elevate parenthood (and marriage) to the point they have turned it into an IDOL, a biblical command, or imperative for all women, and exclude or shame women who are child free or infertile (and/or not married).
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A lot of Christians like to harbor stereotypes that childless or child free women are cold, heartless, not as godly and mature as mothers.
Yes, there was recently an editorial at Christianity Today by a mother who went on about how she wasn’t truly grown up until she had a child.
As one commentator on the editorial noted, that view flat out contradicts another editorial on the same site (which I wrote of (Link): here).
But I present to you another news story that shows a mother who neglected or mistreated her own children (link to that farther below).
I have, over my childless, never-married life, shown more compassion to homeless and/or injured animals I’ve come across on the streets than this woman did to her own children-
Yet Christians have the nerve to suggest that women like me who never have children are not as “mature” or “loving” or compassionate as this woman who merely had sex and used her vagina.
Big, hairy, freaking deal. Any woman can reproduce (excluding ladies with health problems, which leaves them infertile, obviously). It takes another sort of woman entirely to be responsible for someone smaller and weaker than herself.
First, here is the editorial which I found nauseating, as it is once again in the Christian ethos suggesting that maturity is impossible unless one marries and has a child:
(Link): I Didn’t Grow Up Until I Became a Mom
Excerpts:
- by Amy Julia Becker
I thought I was a mature adult, and then I had a baby
…But in our late twenties, my husband Peter and I started inching towards pregnancy. Three kids later, it turns out I was right to be worried. Becoming a mother has made my life harder. It has unraveled me. And it has started to grow me up.
…I used to sometimes choose to be “selfless.” I would bring meals to people who were sick.
…Then I had a baby. And I had no choice but to give of myself to her. She offered very little, other than more needs, in return. Even eight years later, with kids who are out of diapers and rarely wake up in the middle of the night, I still have no choice but to help them a lot.
…I don’t serve my kids because I’m making some beneficent choice to do so. I serve them because I have to. Because they need me. Because I’m their mom. And those acts of involuntary service have helped me let go of my self-importance, at least a little bit.
Next, by comparison, we have this story:
(Link): Homeless Woman Leaves Her Toddlers in Bushes While She Sleeps in Motel
- By DAVID MCCORMACK
PUBLISHED: 09:53 EST, 7 May 2014
-Chardenea VanRooyen, 27, faces child endangerment charges after admitting to leaving her two young children to sleep in bushes
-The mother said she stayed in hotel rooms in Modesto, California, for almost a week while the children stayed with their father in the bushes
-She told police that she came to meet her family for dinner but that her boyfriend had then left
-Her 3-year-old daughter and 1-year-old son have been placed in the custody of child protective services
(Link): Modesto woman arrested after children found sleeping in bushes
- BY ERIN TRACY
May 5, 2014
A Modesto woman was arrested Saturday night after officers say she admitted that her two young children had been sleeping in bushes along McHenry Avenue for a week.
Officers were called to a parking lot shared by Wendy’s and Denny’s north of Coolidge Avenue on a report of a baby left alone in a stroller about 11:15 p.m., said Modesto police spokeswoman Heather Graves.
Officers located Chardenea VanRooyen, 27, sleeping in the bushes with her 3-year-old daughter and 1-year-old son.
Graves said VanRooyen told officers that the children had spent about five nights sleeping in the bushes with their father while she stayed in other people’s rooms at two McHenry Avenue motels.
“She said she can’t stay there because she can’t see her children staying in the bushes,” said Graves. “When officers asked why she doesn’t take the children with her to the hotel, she just says again she doesn’t want to see her kids sleeping in the bushes.”
Graves said officers offered to take VanRooyen and her children to a homeless shelter, but she refused.
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Related:
(Link): Is The Church Failing Childless Women? by Diane Paddison
(Link): Un Happy Mother’s Day – universal church continues to worship parenthood, family
(Link): Mother Charged with Three Murders (her own kids) – in London, April 2014
(Link): Mother’s Day Ain’t A Happy Holiday For Some
(Link): Family as “The” Backbone of Society? – It’s Not In The Bible
(Link): Sorry, but being a mother is not the most important job in the world by Catherine Deveny
(Link): Loving the child-free people in your church by S. Burden
(Link): Don’t Judge Me, I’m Childless (from Today’s Christian Woman)
(Link): In terms of childlessness, US ranks near the top worldwide
(Link): Bearden: Staying childless right decision for many women
(Link): My Secret Grief. Over 35, Single and Childless by Melanie Notkin
(Link): The Fruitful Callings of the Childless By Choice (editorial)
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