According to John Piper, all you gotta do to have pre-marital sex is…
Off the top, I do not like Piper or most of his theology.
The guy is weird and highly sexist and issues crap advice to abused wives (off site link: John Piper: Wives should “endure” abuse “for a season”).
So, some guy called in to Piper’s podcast or radio show or whatever, and Piper’s “Desiring God” site typed up a transcript.
Guy writes in and says he plans on marrying his girlfriend, but he’s not a virgin, what to do, what to do, he inquires of Piper.
Like Tim Challies, and most conservative Christians, Piper pays lip service to the idea of virginity, (“I think the main thing I want to say is this: Virginity is a precious gift that you cannot give to your fiancé, nor she you. That is a great sadness and a great loss.”), but Piper goes on to tell the guy to tell his fiance this:
Excerpts (source (Link): Walking the Wedding Aisle Without Your Virginity)
- So what is the gift you do have to give to this fiancé with whom you have had sexual relations? What gift can you give her that God might be pleased to make so wonderful, the gift you can’t give her will not destroy?
And here it is. You can look your fiancé in the eye and say this:
I failed you. I failed God. And I am deeply, deeply sorry. I hate what I did. I hate the hurt it caused you and me. I hate the dishonor that I brought upon the Lord. I hate the disrespect I showed you in not caring for you better. And I repent.
I turn away from that sin, and sinful forces that drove it. I renounce them. And I turn to Jesus Christ my Lord and my Redeemer and I receive from him his full and blood-bought forgiveness and I cherish it with all my heart.
I tremble at the thought of despising his blood now. And by the Spirit that he has given me, I resolve in his strength never, never, never to betray him or to give my body to any woman but to my wife.
I offer you my forgiven, redeemed, cleansed soul and body in marriage to cherish you and honor you and be faithful to you.
I invite you into this new forgiven, redeemed, cleansed union with me. I know there will always be scars and the memories.
But God is merciful, and in his time and his wisdom and his way he will make these scars of sin the emblem of his mercy and the signs of his cross.
Oh, okay. That’s all there is to it.
I am a single woman. Now I can start having sex before marriage, and then, if I get a marriage proposal, tell my spouse to be,
“Honey, I failed you. I renounce that sin. Jesus forgives me of my sexual past, so should you. I know there will be scars of sin, but hey, let’s go and get married.”
I don’t agree with some of Piper’s other views on the page. He gets into a thing about how an unmarried person’s body belongs to God, and a married woman’s body belongs to her spouse. I do not agree.
(Link): Stop Rewarding People For Their Failure – Christians Speaking Out of Both Sides of Their Mouths About Sexual Sin – Choices and Actions and How You Teach This Stuff Has Consequences – Allowing Sinners To Re-Define Biblical Terms and Standards
(Link): After Pastor’s Son Comes Out as Homosexual, Southern Baptist Church Breaks With Denomination on Homosexuality – Once More Christians Allow Their Feelings To Cancel Out What God Says In The Bible on Sexual Morality – Christians worship feelings now, not God