Married Youth Pastor Jailed for Sexually Assaulting Teen Girl Writes Editorial About Said Abuse for Christianity Today, Uproar Ensues On Christian Blogs

Married Youth Pastor Jailed for Sexually Assaulting Teen Girl Writes Editorial About Said Abuse for Christianity Today, Uproar Ensues On Christian Blogs
—————————————–
Don’t forget, I may not be blogging as much or as often in the future, if at all.
See this link (Link): [Blog Break] for more info.

—————————————–
There has been an uproar the last day or so, ever since Christianity Today published a long page by a jailed sex offender who preyed on a teen girl.

I don’t know the man’s name because the piece was published anonymously. I shall here after refer to the author, the convicted sex offender, as “Mr. Perverted Youth Pastor,” or “Mr. PYP” for short.

The author of the piece, Mr. PYP, is in his 30s, and he worked as a youth pastor. He was jailed for statutory rape of one of his female church students under his charge, a young lady he began to groom for exploitation when she was around 11 or 12 years old.

Mr. PYP said in his piece published by Christianity Today that he found the attention from the young lady flattering and intoxicating, and felt his wife was not paying him enough attention, and IIRC, I think he mentioned that the wife was not putting out enough (sexually), or whatever. (I only skimmed the guy’s story, I did not read all of it closely.)

The thing is, a grown man of age 30 should not be seeking validation from an 11 or 16 year old girl – that is not only morally wrong, perverted, and gross, but absolutely pathetic.

I think the editors at Christianity Today intended for this pervert’s essay to be a helpful warning to Christian men not to get too close to women (or something along those lines), and which unfortunately also plays into false stereotypes about the genders, but the guy who wrote the page, Mr. PYP, never fully and unambiguously owns his sin, moral failing, and crime, so it comes across as though he’s excusing and justifying his behavior.

There’s a bit of “victim blaming” in the piece on Mr. PYP’s part, where he uses terminology such as,
“When WE [he and the young lady he was victimizing] decided to end the affair, I felt that…”

I don’t feel like summarizing the guy’s entire story and situation on my blog, so click here to read his page (“My Easy Trip from Youth Minister to Felon”) and read it for yourself.

The aspect of this story I am interested in for the purpose of this blog is that here he is, he is a married adult (with, IIRC, a kid of his own), he worked as a pastor, and yet he also sexually exploited a young lady, and I will explain further below why this interests me.

Another aspect I am interested in regarding this story is that Mr. PYP does not take full responsibility for his actions in the piece, and he classifies his sexual exploitation of the young lady as an “extra martial affair.”

Now, I, to a point, do regard his actions towards her as an “extra marital affair” because he was a MARRIED man who was sleeping with this girl – he was in fact sleeping around on his wife, but of course, his actions are more than just a standard extra-martial affair, because he was taking advantage of a young lady.

In my opinion, his actions contain traits of both situations, sexual abuse as well as an extra-marital affair.

There are a few other writers online who disagree with my view on this; they think his actions were 100% sexual abuse and that the phrase “extra marital affair” should not even be used when discussing this case, but I never- the- less see a tinge of extra-marital affair in the situation as well (but on the man’s part only; I am not blaming the girl at all).

I am simply saying that yes, while Mr. PYP did sexually abuse a teen girl, that in doing so, he also violated his marital vows to his wife to remain faithful to the wife – which to me can categorize his actions as being an affair as well as being sexual abuse.

Why I am interested in this story:

As I have pointed out time and time again on the blog, Christians have several falsehoods and fairy tales and stereotypes about marriage, sex, dating, gender relations, and whom they feel a Christian should marry.

Many conservative Christians believe that married people are immune from sexual sin. Christians falsely believe if a man is married, he must be getting steady, regular, hot sexy sex from his wife, and he therefore will not use porn, fondle kids, or have mistresses. This is of course naive and incorrect, because even men married to sexy wives, who get regular, great sex from the wife, still use porn and have affairs.

These same Christians, meanwhile, falsely assume that all un-married adults over the age of 25 are “tom cats” or harlots who have over-sexed sex lives, who boink every person in sight.

This is not true, either.

While the numbers of Christian singles fornicating have shot up the last decade or so, there are still plenty of Christian adult singles who are living celibate lives, and it gets really old and insulting to have to put up with the stereotypes from Christian culture and from preachers that ALL, or 99% of, adult singles have sexually loose morals and are supposedly fornicating like rabbits.

Those of us singles who are NOT sexually active get absolutely NO support or acknowledgement from churches, Christian culture, and preachers. It’s simply ASSUMED we adult singles are boinking around and sewing wild oats, because doesn’t everyone?

One other point I will rehash here is that Christian single women who want to be married need to stop expecting to marry only a Christian man. I have personally jettisoned the “be not yoked to an unbeliever” teaching because it only serves to keep me perpetually single.

The man under discussion in this story, Mr. PYP, is a MARRIED CHRISTIAN PASTOR.

If you cannot guarantee a married Christian man will treat his wife by biblical standards, such a woman is just as well off divorcing him and dating Non-Christian men.

There are just too many stories of Christian men, some of whom are preachers no less, who are adulterers, wife abusers, porn addicts, and child sex abusers, for a Christian woman to bother with limiting herself to Christian suitors.

Here are a few pages by other people criticizing Christianity Today for publishing the comments of Mr. PYP:

(Link): An open letter to Christianity Today & @Leadership_Jnl : TAKE DOWN THE RAPE POST. It’s not an “extramarital relationship.” It’s statutory RAPE. @CTMagazine

(Link): Christianity Today, Church Rape, And Why We Still Don’t Get It #TakeDownThatPost

(Link): Ex-youth pastor describes felony sex crimes as extramarital ‘friendship’ in Christian journal

    By Travis Gettys
    Friday, June 13, 2014 10:06 EDT

    An online journal for Christian pastors published a lengthy account this week of one man’s “easy trip from youth minister to felon” that critics say makes apologies for rape.

    Hundreds of Twitter users have urged Leadership Journal, which is published by Christianity Today, to #TakeDownThisPost.

    Although the online journal has not removed the 2,540-word essay, it added a postscript that addresses the controversy.

    … The piece is as noteworthy for what the writer does not say than for what he does say.

    The writer, who pleaded guilty to two felony charges and is currently serving a prison term, does not use the word “rape” once in the piece.

    He does not mention the words “crime,” “law,” “statutory,” or “illegal.”

    “Leadership Journal allows a convicted child abuser a platform to manipulatively frame this as a story of personal selfishness and infidelity without one word about molestation, statutory rape, sexual grooming, or the abuse of power and children entrusted to the care of adults at a church,” writes blogger Susannah Paul, at The Smitten Word.

    The word “responsibility” appears only once – in the postscript – and he never refers to his victim using a gendered noun.

    Instead, he describes the sexual relationship he engaged in with the minor girl as an extramarital affair that he blames, at least in part, on his wife.

    “The realities of parenthood and marriage were sinking in, and I felt unappreciated at home,” the former pastor wrote. “From my perspective, I was excelling at work and at home — and this perceived lack of appreciation led me to believe I deserved more.”

    He writes that he began flirting with one of the students entrusted to his care by her parents, and they began communicating through social media and text messages.

    “Flirting led to a physical relationship,” the former pastor writes. “It was all very slow and gradual, but it was constantly escalating. We were both riddled with guilt and tried to end things, but the allure of sin was strong. We had given the devil far more than a foothold and had quenched the Holy Spirit’s prodding so many times, there was little-to-no willpower left.”

    The writer laments that he failed to properly repent for his sin, and he urges readers to do so before losing their families and jobs – as he has.

    “Not once did he mention what he did to the girl, the church, or her family,” writes an anonymous guest blogger at Redemption Pictures. “Not once did he mention the detrimental impact this will inevitably have on her for likely her entire life.”

———————————–
Related posts this blog:

(Link): Marriage Does Not Make People More Loving Mature Godly Ethical Caring or Responsible (One Stop Thread)

(Link): The ol’ Christian myth that married couples are impervious to sexual sin but singles have lots of sexual sin

(Link): No Christians and Churches Do Not Idolize Virginity and Sexual Purity – Christians Attack and Criticize Virginity Sexual Purity Celibacy / Virginity Sexual Purity Not An Idol

(Link): Christian Gender and Sex Stereotypes Act as Obstacles to Christian Singles Who Want to Get Married (Not All Men Are Obsessed with Sex)

(Link): Can Boys Be ‘Coerced’ Into Sex? (article from Daily Beast)

(Link): Christian Stereotypes About Female Sexuality : All Unmarried Women Are Supposedly Hyper Sexed Harlots – But All Married Ones are Supposedly Frigid or Totally Uninterested in Sex

(Link): Douglas Wilson and Christian Response FAIL to Sexual Sin – No Body Can Resist Sex – supposedly – Re Celibacy

(Link): Confusing Sexual Assault and Sexual Abuse with Consensual Sex and Then Condemning Sexual Purity Teachings – and other, related topics