Seven Bad Reasons Why Women Marry

Seven Bad Reasons Why Women Marry By Khadijah Costley White
Notice from Christian Pundit blogger: There is coming a time when I will either not be blogging as frequently or not at all. Please read more about that here in this post (Link): Blog Break – May 2014 – and List of This Blog’s Best or Most Relevant Posts
(Link): Seven Bad Reasons Why Women Marry


    By Khadijah Costley White

    Every time a woman marries a man just to get married—just to post that ring photo, wear a white dress, and feel special for one day—she’s selling herself cheap and setting a low bar.

    It’s wedding season. And if pretending that your friends aren’t being selfish jerks as they prepare for their special day isn’t enough, you’re no doubt dealing with all the folks asking when you, too, are going to tie the knot.

    On top of that, the news this past year has been full of articles aiming to (Link): shame, (Link): coerce, (Link): convince, and otherwise (Link): cajole women into marrying men.

    You know why they have to do that? Because there are so few good reasons for us to get married.

    … Fellow 21st century American women, we’ve come really far. We’re now able to do things like vote, get library cards, have sex without getting stoned (to death), wear pants, travel, rent apartments and get a job without our husband or father’s permission.

    But despite all our advances toward equality, many of us straight women continue to voluntarily marry crappy partners. And we tend to do it for even crappier reasons.

    So I’m calling for a strike against settling for marriages that lack equitability, respect, and reciprocity. We need to stop marrying men who put their needs and desires ahead of our own.

    Here’s a list of seven common reasons why good women end up marrying bad partners (and why those reasons are ridiculous):

    3) Because you don’t want to be alone /for companionship/security/etc.

    How about this? Living the rest of your life with someone you strongly dislike really sucks. And being lonely with a husband sucks even more. These kinds of households don’t shed such a great light on marriage for your kids, either.

    6) For sex.

    Bodies change, people get ill, and there’s always someone more attractive. Plus, 1 out of 5 married (Link): couples report having almost no sex at all. This is a lousy reason to make a lifelong commitment.

    Now on the health end, it’s absolutely true that being in a committed, monogamous relationship is the safest way to have sexual intercourse. But you can have these things without marriage. And experts estimate that (Link): infidelity takes place in up to 76% of American marriages.

    … Women who want to get married should be looking for partners, not just husbands. Good partners shouldn’t ask you to do anything they’re not willing to do themselves (last name changes, for instance). They should be more than their own kid’s babysitter, and they shouldn’t think having a vagina means you were born ready to use a vacuum.

    You know why these kinds of men keep finding wives? Because women keep marrying them.

    These days, we talk a lot about a women’s right to choose. So then, choose. Choose better. Choose someone who makes you laugh, someone who respects your opinion, and listens when you speak.

Staying single is also a valid choice. You don’t need a man at all – not a husband, not a boyfriend, nobody.
Related posts this blog:

(Link): Are Marriage and Family A Woman’s Highest Calling? by Marcia Wolf – and other links that address the Christian fallacy that a woman’s most godly or only proper role is as wife and mother

(Link): (Articles) Marriage Rate At All Time Low

(Link): Poll: Importance of Marriage Dropping Among Americans

(Link): ‘Why Are You Single’ Lists That Do Not Pathologize Singles by Bella DePaulo

(Link): Conservative Christian Think Tank Says: “Preach the Gospel of Marriage”

(Link): Want To But Can’t – The One Christian Demographic Being Continually Ignored by Christians Re: Marriage

(Link): Why Susan Patton Is Wrong About College Women and Marriage by S. Atteberry

(Link): Just Say No – For white working-class women, it makes sense to stay single mothers. (Not enough eligible single men for women to marry) by N. Cahn and J. Carbone

(Link): False Christian Teaching: “Only A Few Are Called to Singleness and Celibacy” or (also false): God’s gifting of singleness is rare

(Link): Unmarried / Single People Are Supposedly Bitter & Have Too Much Baggage – and that’s why you’re still single they say

(Link): Study: Got Married Sooner Than You Hoped? That’s Depressing

(Link): Are Single Women – and specifically Never Married Women – More Likely To Be Victims of Abuse? Rebuttals to this view

(Link): Over 10 Million Men of Prime Working Age Are Unemployed in the US and Experts Think It’s Causing Declining Marriage Rates

(Link): Salvation By Marriage Alone – The Over Emphasis Upon Marriage by Conservative Christians Evangelicals Southern Baptists

(Link): Jason the Christian’s Sexless Marriage – Christians promise hot regular steamy married sex but it isn’t true

(Link): Resident Christian Marriage Advice Writer at Christian Mag Admits Some Christian Marriages are Sexless

(Link): Married Woman Signing off as “Looking Ahead” Admits to Being in Sexless Marriage for TEN YEARS

(Link): Remarriage rates plunge as divorced Americans have doubts – and about Christian culture and divorce and remarriage vs singleness

(Link): Divorce Rates in America Decreasing But Divorce Rates on Increase Among Southern Baptists