Woman Partner Competes with Porn for Her Boyfriend’s Attention (Ask Amy)

Letter to Ask Amy, Nov 2014

And Christian sociologist Mark Regnerus was recently advising Christian single women to date and marry porn users (see link to a post about that at the bottom of this post).

Also notice that the woman who wrote this says she wants to have sex more than once a month. I often see Christian and Non Christian commentators assume that only men want sex, but that women are not interested in sex – not so.

This is another example that blows the lid off the falsehood that women don’t like sex or don’t want it. Here you have a relationship where the woman is bothered because the couple is not having as much sex as she would prefer. She wants more sex, the boyfriend (or spouse, whoever this guy is), wants less.

Letter:

(Link): Ask Amy: Partner Competes With Porn for Attention – Idaho Statesman

(Link): Partner Competes with Porn for Attention – TMS Features

  • Dear Amy:
  • I met my boyfriend in my first year of college. No other man had ever treated me with such respect. At first our physical relationship was great!
  • We’ve been in a monogamous relationship for five years. We own a home together and for the most part get along great. Unfortunately I am sexually unsatisfied (for about two years now). I try to initiate sex regularly but nine times out of 10 he pushes me away.
  • The sexual side of our relationship has fizzled out and it’s affecting other aspects of our relationship.
  • We’ve talked about it many times and he swears it has nothing to do with me. He says he’s happy in our relationship, but he’s just not into sex.I occasionally catch him pleasuring himself to online porn after I’ve gone to bed. I’ve asked him what I can do to make him attracted to me like he is to the women in his videos.
  • He says I should dress up in lingerie. I’ve done this but it’s actually made it worse, because when I do and he still rejects me, it really hurts.
  • We are both in our late 20s. I am not satisfied with having sex once a month, but he is! Friends of mine have said the honeymoon period is over but it doesn’t mean we should break up.Does every physical relationship fizzle out like this? I feel like I can’t be my best self when I’m holding in all this anger. What should I do?
  • — Lonely Partner

Reply by Amy:

  • Dear Lonely:
  • Let’s refresh. Your guy is not into sex, except when he’s alone with his laptop — and then he is.
  • He claims his lack of interest has nothing to do with you, except it would be great if you dressed more like a porn star. You comply and he rejects you.
  • Sexual relationships are bound to fizzle if one partner finds a sexual outlet that interferes with the connection between the couple. Perhaps your guy would be willing to share his porn with you so you could (at least) have parallel pleasures.
  • You seem to be making all of the effort to have an experience with him that he does not want to have with you. Sexual relationships are not universally destined to fizzle. It doesn’t have to be this way. A relationship counselor would help, but if he won’t make any effort, things will not improve.

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Related:

(Link):  Male Christian Researcher Mark Regnerus Believes Single Christian Women Should Marry Male Christian Porn Addicts – another Christian betrayal of sexual ethics and more evidence of Christians who do make an idol out of marriage

(Link): When Women Wanted Sex More Than Men and How the Stereotype Flipped

(Link):  Christian Stereotypes About Female Sexuality : All Unmarried Women Are Supposedly Hyper Sexed Harlots – But All Married Ones are Supposedly Frigid or Totally Uninterested in Sex

(Link): Groundbreaking News: Women Like Sex (part 1, 2) (articles)

(Link): Letter to Advice Columnist: Husband Upset That Wife Masturbates – Marriage Doesn’t Guarantee Hot Regular Sex For Both or Either Partner, Contra Usual Christian Claims

(Link): Ramifications of Pre Martial Sex – Sky Diver Husband; Also: Stereotypes About All Men Wanting Sex Constantly and Being Visually Stimulated Disproven Again

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