These 13 Stories About Discovering An Affair Are Heartbreaking (from Huffington Post)

 These 13 Stories About Discovering An Affair Are Heartbreaking (from Huffington Post)

This post contains coarse language.

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One of my themes on this blog is “times I’m glad I’m single,” “times I’m glad I’ve never married,” and so on. Here’s another item for that category.

Not only should you visit this page and read it, but go to the bottom of the page and read the many comments left by readers who described how and when they caught their husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend cheating.

I’m not going to include all 13 stories, here just a few.

(Link):  These 13 Stories About Discovering An Affair Are Heartbreaking

Excerpts

  • If you’ve ever been cheated on, you know that discovering a partner’s affair hits you like a punch to the gut. It doesn’t matter how sure you were about the suspected infidelity — nothing can prepare you for the initial shock of finding proof of an affair.
  • That feeling may be universal, but the details leading up the discovery — how you knew he or she was cheating on you — tend to vary. On Reddit, men and women who’ve been cheated on recently shared how they knew for sure their partners were unfaithful. Read 13 of the most heartbreaking stories below.
  • 4. Her partner told her midway through a big move.
  • “I was driving across country to move. He had moved ahead of us and chose to wait until we were 600 miles from home and about halfway there.
  • This was after I had resigned my job, given up our apartment, packed a U-Haul (that my mom and dad were driving), and become certified to teach in another state. I had the dog, cat, two mice and my child in my car. We turned around and went back after he told me.
  • He left me with an incredible amount of debt and a great deal of heartache.”

  • 6. She caught him in the act.
  • “I came home early from work and walked in on them. Yep, that’s about as cliché as it gets, but there you go. The funny thing is, I had wanted an open relationship, but he said that he couldn’t deal with that. It turns out he was just selfish.”
  • 12. His insurance agent tipped him off.
  • “My insurance agent emailed me. I was on a deployment, and my now ex-wife and my former friend drunkenly wrapped my car around a light pole. My agent (I know him from college, he was at the wedding) happened to see the two being overly familiar at a bar, the same day as the date on the insurance claim.”

Farther below: some of the comments readers left below that article.

My condolences to these people, they were treated horribly by their exes.

By the way, I  notice in a lot of these stories below from readers (and I’m not going to copy them all for you below, just a small number), that the women who were cheated on by their husbands, were either currently pregnant with the husband’s baby, or had recently given birth weeks before, or were about to give birth any week, or just had a miscarriage.

I have a special seething hatred for men(*) who cheat on their pregnant wives, or wives who just miscarried.

It boggles my mind that a man in a committed relationship, where the woman is expecting fidelity, will not keep his dick in his pants especially when his wife is pregnant with his child, or just had their kid, or is due to pop it out in weeks/months.

It takes a special kind of selfish, low life asshole of a man to cheat on his knocked up wife.

(Also: when the genders are reversed it makes me angry. There’s a story by a James M. who said his wife cheated on him with Affair #2 while she was pregnant with their child, then she got pregnant by another guy and had Affair 3 while pregnant.)

Comments by Huffington Post readers about how they found out their S.O.s were cheating on them

by Renee S.

  • I found out a year after my wedding that my then-husband was having an affair (with an 18-year-old, no less) during the wedding planning. I thought everything was great, that i was lucky to be marrying the man of my dreams.
  • Once I found out, I wanted to stay and work on it. We even got to a place where we wanted to try for a family.
  • Turns out he didn’t change his ways, even was talking to the first girl (or maybe she was the second, third, fourth, who knows) while I was recovering from an ectopic pregnancy.
  • Once I found a text back and forth to some girl saying he was divorced, I packed my stuff and left. Haven’t looked back, and I’m happily divorced. The pain is there, though.

by Kerry K

  • He told me he wanted a divorce. I asked if there was someone else. He swore up and down that there wasn’t. Refused to consider marriage counseling, he was done.
    I’d been completely blindsided and was absolutely devastated. It took me a really long time just to get through the day without feeling like someone had just died.
    Flash forward 6 months. I had just arrived at work and noticed I had a missed call and a new voice mail.
    It was the jeweler letting him know that her wedding ring was ready and that it had turned out “beautifully”. Our cell phone numbers were only one digit apart and they thought they’d reached his phone.. Turns out he’d been cheating for months before he finally told me he wanted a divorce.
    Forward three more years. I get an email from her, apologizing to me for her part in what he’d done to me. He had just done the same to her, when she was 6 months pregnant.
    He left her for her “best friend”, and they were already engaged before he was even divorced from her.

by Barbara B

  • A friend told me he was having an affair with his yoga instructor. I was floored because I always thought he was a straight up honorable family man. I held it in for a week, but I finally called his wife and told her. And I have never spoken to him again. If you’re not happy, break it off, don’t go fooling around behind everyone’s back.

by Cynthia M B:

  • I had been in and out of the hospital for about a year due to mental health issues and I knew my ex and I were having problems but nothing like what was really happening.
  • He was having an affair with a woman that had baby-sat for our daughter and worked with him. She became pregnant from their affair and when I begged him to work out our relationship, he said that he wanted a divorce, no discussion.
  • I had no idea this woman was pregnant. I found out about the child after my 4 year-old daughter told me over the phone

by Meghan

  • I found out through the girl who got knocked up by my ex.

    She showed up at my moms house, to have my mom inform my ex she was seeking child support.

by Eileen B

  • My Husband of 8 yrs, together for 13, was the first and only person I’ve ever been with.
  • I noticed something was off with him. He just seemed anxious and stressed. When he didn’t speak one word to me after a day and a half I blew up at him big time. I was 7 months pregnant with our 2nd boy at the time so hormones were a little haywire.
  • He broke down and explained he’d been having an affair, on his online game, with some bitch who lived hundreds of miles away. They’d been texting and emailing and playing on the game together for 2 months.
  • He was convinced he was in love with her and wasn’t sure he wanted to be married to me anymore. He never actually met this woman in person.
  • He continued to drag me through all this bullshit and when our son was born 3 months later I thought maybe it had made him snap back to reality.
  • A week after my son was born, he said he still wasn’t sure what he wanted.
  • I told him then I’d had enough of his bullshit and wanted a divorce. Needless to say he came crawling back a few months later and I had to control myself from not laughing in his face.

by Erika

  • I was looking for something in my purse and his phone happened to be charging right next to it.
  • A text came in and since I was standing right there, the word “cute” caught my attention.
  • I then saw that he had been telling this particular girl that he was in an open relationship (we weren’t in an open relationship) and that she should come down and he would get them a hotel room.
  • Everything unraveled after that when I discovered more texts to numerous people, ranging from girls he met on online dating sites, skeezy people from Craig’s List and even hookers!
  • I work in IT and he had the gall to say his phone had been hacked! We were about to move in together but I kicked him out that night.
  • Have not heard a peep from him since….no apology, no remorse on his part. I had miscarried our baby around 2 months earlier and we were talking about trying again in a couple of months. He really fooled me
 by Staci B
  • The day after my ex told me he wanted a divorce, I found a lovely letter he’d written to the whore. Of course, he didn’t mention her the night before. Apparently it had been going on for months.
  • Fast forward 7 years, she’s left him and broke up yet another marriage.
  • Luckily, we had no kids together–unfortunately for the new cheated-on wife, they have little kids and they are being forced to be around this narcissistic floozy.

by Cathy D

  • I was getting phone calls from dating services. When I said this is MRS. D, they hung up or did the ah, oh, well, dance. 19 years of marriage down the drains, and a divorce that took 14 years, will not get married again.I have my 3 beautiful kids tho, the only thing good that came out of that marriage.

by Gale W

  • The 136 “The Moment I Knew” Comments above and the Comments below remind me of how very happy I am to be divorced for the last 22 years.

by James M

  • The first time was only a couple of months after our wedding, first she started “working late”, the when were on opposite shifts I noticed that she apparently hadn’t been home at all while I was at work (her dogs had not been fed or let out). Like a fool, I stayed to “work on things” (which mostly consisted of her blaming me for her behavior), because I didn’t want to be one of those couple who divorced right after getting married.

    The second time I found out was because she had left her email open and I snooped a bit and found out about an affair she had been having several months before.

  • I didn’t leave, or even bring it up because she was five months pregnant at the time and I didn’t want to be the “dead beat” who “abandoned” his pregnant wife, and I thought maybe being a parent would give her some perspective on what was really important and settle her down.

    The final straw was when I found out she was having yet another affair while she was 3 months pregnant with her second child, and she couldn’t even reassure me that the child was mine (it wasn’t).

by Lorrie M

  • Found out the hard way. Soon after my future ex-husband came home from visiting his kids at his ex-wife’s house, I was in the ER with an infection so bad I couldn’t stand the pain.
  • Turned out to be herpes-my first outbreak.
  • The doctor said he could get a test that would show if my husband had gotten it within the last 3 months(we had been together for 5 years). He refused to take the test, saying it would prove nothing.
  • Found out soon after that he and his ex conceived her youngest kid while she was married to another man.

by Rebecca C

  • My ex sat me down one day, after graciously letting me attend a festival without him because our sitter backed out last minute, and he says to me, “We need to talk.” “About what?” I asked.
  • “Well,” he says, “unless you gave it to me, you need to know I have Chlamydia.” That’s right, not only was my finding out about his affair a public health message, but he also tried to blame it on me.

by Rose L S

  • Found out about the first affair when his sister told me.

    The second affair was when the hotel called to say I had left some articles of clothing in the room I didn’t spent the night in (but the “married couple” had.

    Third affair, he gave me an STD he caught from her.

by Karl A.

  • Facebook. It started online and moved to a physical relationship. She left it open one day and I got all the gory details.
  • Here’s a piece of advice to cheaters: If you have to hide behind a pseudonym on Facebook to say the things you want to say to your “special friend” without your partner finding out you are cheating.

by Julie B

  • I found out my ex was actually WITH another woman the whole time we were together the day AFTER I gave birth to my second son with him. I was actually the other woman, without me knowing.
  • Such a complicated story, where I was naive enough to believe everything he told me. I tried to get passed everything for the sake of my boys, but with everything I had endured, I ended up leaving him six months later. Best move EVER!

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Related posts:

(Link):  The Chump Lady Blog – covers some of the same ground this blog does -discusses Jesus Cheaters (Christians Who Have Affairs), other issues

(Link): New Study Released: Cheaters: More American Married Women Admit to Adultery (links)

(Link): Marriage Does Not Make People More Loving Mature Godly Ethical Caring or Responsible (One Stop Thread)

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