Southern Baptist Leaders Highlight Benefits Of Youthful Matrimony – Southern Baptists downplay adult singleness, uphold trope that virginity past 25 is impossible etc

Southern Baptist Leaders Highlight Benefits Of Youthful Matrimony – Southern Baptists downplay adult singleness, uphold trope that virginity past 25 is impossible etc

So, if you are single and a virgin at 35 or 40, where is your support from Southern Baptists? They only care to scream and yell at the 20 somethings of today to get married.

Notice also that one guy in here spits out several of the stereotypes I’ve mentioned on my blog before – he feels that being a virgin past a certain age is impossible or too difficult, and that God has only “wired” men to want sex.

I’m a woman. I experience sexual desire. I’m a virgin in my early 40s. So, quite obviously, it’s not impossible to stay a virgin past 25 or 30, and, God has also wired women to want sex.

By the way, this is a battle they are not going to win. They can beg, cajole, plead, and shame all they like, but at this point in American culture, Americans are simply not going to marry young.

All the shaming, scolding, and cajoling to get Christians from the 1980s to “wait for true love” did not entirely work, because there are many individuals who identify as Christian who have committed fornication.

Not all, mind you – there are some Christian adults who never married and are still virgins. But if the “True Love Waits” type or propaganda did not work for many Christians, where Christians were encouraged to wait until marriage to have sex, what makes these Baptists thinks that similar tactics will work to get people to marry by a certain age?

(Link) Southern Baptist Leaders Highlight Benefits Of Youthful Matrimony

  • March 10, 2015
  • by Blake Farmer
  • Leaders of the country’s largest Protestant denomination have a message for millennials: get married already.The Nashville-based (Link): Southern Baptist Convention and its nearly 16 million members continue to resist societal trends like gay marriage and cohabitation. They also want to go against the grain on the rising marital age.

    But back in 1972, Pam Blume was pretty typical. She was just a few years out of high school when she walked down the aisle.

  • … Andrew Walker is out front on this issue, working for the denomination’s public policy division. Married at 21, Walker sees a sinful side to waiting. For one, it makes the church’s expectation of virginity, in his words, “impractical.”
  • “The reality is, starting at the age of 12, 13, boys and men, growing up into maturity, are hardwired for something that God gave us a desire for and an outlet for,” Walker says. “And so to suppress that becomes more difficult the older you get.”
  •  Walker says he isn’t suggesting a cut-off age to get married. But he writes articles and leads panel discussions on the benefits of youthful matrimony.His work is a minefield of potential awkwardness. During one conference, he introduced his colleague, Lindsay Swartz, but inadvertently made her feel like an old maid.
  • “As the single woman, which I’m not going to bring too much attention to…gentlemen?” Walker said.Swartz, who handles social media for the denomination, says she would love to get married and start a family. But the 30-something also sees drawbacks.

  • “I don’t necessarily think it’s better to be single, but I do think we run the risk, including myself, of idolizing marriage and children,” she says.

    She points out that key figures in the New Testament never married. Swartz also says it would be a shame if the marriage push resulted in more divorces. While evangelical Christians oppose divorce in many cases, surveys find they break up at roughly the same rate as society.

  • “I don’t think you can say people need to get married at a younger age today,” says Cindy Novinska of Wisconsin. “I think it’s much more complicated than that.”She and her husband Kenneth are Catholic. Both of them were married before but divorced.
  • “The lady I married was way too young,” Kenneth says.
  • One of his daughters also married right out of high school, only to split up. His son, on the other hand, waited until his late 30s.
  • “They had jobs,” Kenneth says. “They knew exactly [that] they wanted to have children. You can just see their marriage is very strong.”
  • Novinska believes it pays to wait. And even for Baptists, getting married needs to be considered on a case-by-case basis.
  • ….The “marry young” mantra gets complicated as it hits closer to home, but generally Baptist leaders say marriage should be considered a foundation for adult life. And right now, it’s often seen as the high point.

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Related Posts:

(Link):  Southern Baptists Pushing Early Marriage, Baby Making – Iranians Pushing Mandatory Motherhood – When Christians Sound Like Muslims

(Link):   Typical Erroneous Teaching About Adult Celibacy Rears Its Head Again: To Paraphrase Speaker at Ethics and Public Policy Center: Lifelong Celibacy is “heroic ethical standard that is not expected of heteros, so it should not be expected of homosexuals”

(Link):  Douglas Wilson and Christian Response FAIL to Sex / Sexual Sin – No Body Can Resist Sex (Part 2)

(Link): Why So Much Fornication Among Christians and Secular Society – Because Christians and Secularists Have No Expectation of Sexual Purity

(Link):  When Women Wanted Sex Much More Than Men – and how the stereotype flipped

(Link): Groundbreaking News: Women Like Sex (part 1, 2) (articles)

(Link): Christian Stereotypes About Female Sexuality : All Unmarried Women Are Supposedly Hyper Sexed Harlots – But All Married Ones are Supposedly Frigid or Totally Uninterested in Sex

(Link): A Case Against Early Marriage by Ashley Moore (editorial)

(Link): Study: Got Married Sooner Than You Hoped? That’s Depressing

(Link): Divorce Rates in America Decreasing But Divorce Rates on Increase Among Southern Baptists

(Link): Family as “The” Backbone of Society? – It’s Not In The Bible

(Link): Misapplication of Biblical Verses About Fertility (also mentions early marriage) – a paper by J. McKeown

(Link): A Response by Colon to Regnerus Re: Misguided Early Marriage Propaganda

(Link): Christian Early Marriage Position Advocates A Low View of Celibacy and Virginity and Adult Singleness – another example: Justin Deeter Blog about Early Marriage

(Link): The Nauseating Push by Evangelicals for Early Marriage

(Link): Typical Incorrect Conservative Christian Assumption: If you want marriage bad enough, Mr. Right will magically appear

(Link): Conservatives and Christians Fretting About U.S. Population Decline – We Must “Out-breed” Opponents Christian Host Says

(Link): Over 10 Million Men of Prime Working Age Are Unemployed in the US and Experts Think It’s Causing Declining Marriage Rates

(Link): A Critique of – 10 Men Christian Women Should Never Marry by J. Lee Grady / And on Christians Marrying Non Christians -and- Unrealistic, Too Rigid Spouse Selection Lists by Christians

(Link): Do You Rate Your Family Too High? (Christians Who Idolize the Family) (article)

(Link): Superman, Man Candy -and- Christian Women Are Visual And Enjoy Looking At Built, Hot, Sexy Men

(Link): Ryan Gosling and Shirtless, Buff Cowboy Photos on Social Media – Yes, Women Are Visually Stimulated and Visually Oriented (Part 2)

(Link): Boy Bands, Rock Singers, and Other High School Crushes – Yes, Women Are Visually Stimulated and Visually Oriented

(Link): Atlantic: “The case for abandoning the myth that ‘women aren’t visual.’”

2 thoughts on “Southern Baptist Leaders Highlight Benefits Of Youthful Matrimony – Southern Baptists downplay adult singleness, uphold trope that virginity past 25 is impossible etc”

  1. Now they are pressuring people to marry? That is nothing to pressure anyone about, ever.

    I remember talking to a young man who had come up through the church youth group and in his mid twenties was still dating the woman he’d taken to the Senior Ball. I asked how they were doing, and he said they were taking it slow but not counting out the possibility of getting married.

    “No need to rush,” I said, “life’s forever.”

    “You’re the first person who’s said that. Everyone else asks what we’re waiting for.”

    “Just tell them it’s none of their business.”

    He appeared to be a very relieved young man after that conversation.

    1. Thank you for the comments.

      Oh yes, Southern Baptists and some other types of Christians have been pressuring people to marry (“early marriage”) before they reach 25 for the last few years now. I have posts about it (with links to some of their articles) going back two or three years.

      I am in my early 40s and had wanted to be married. I was engaged years ago but had to break things off.

      Generally, when Southern Baptists (and Reformed guys, and some others) do bother to discuss adult singleness at all, they only bother to shame, scorn, and blame us older singles for being single.

      They only extend effort to help 20 year old kids get married.

      Many churches and Christians will NOT lift a finger to actually help their over age 30 single friends who want marriage to get married.

      Churches will not set up social events where single adults can mingle (which would lead to dating and possibly marriage). They say that is not the purpose of a church.

      We mature singles are sometimes told to go and try dating sites, and we are left to our own devices. (Dating sites do not really work, btw.)

      Meanwhile, churches and Christian groups (including Focus on the Family) trip all over themselves in seeing how they can help some 21 year old kid get married. They don’t care about you once you hit 30 and older.

      I remember when Christian radio personality Janet Mefferd had some guy on her show months ago, who said that some people are claiming Christians are pushing kids to get married prior to 25, she was incredulous.

      I sent Ms. Mefferd several tweets with links to articles that show yes, some Christians are in fact hounding kids to get married young – they are worried about delay of age of first marriage (many people today are not marrying today until they are 27 or older, if at all).

      Recent studies show that over 50% of the adult American population is now single, as of 2014 or so. Do churches care? Nope. They keep harping on marriage.

      Also, some Christians are so freaked out that marriage is not happening, one of them, a Christian sociologist (Regnerus), suggested in a blog post a few months back, that because porn use among Christian men is so high, that single Christian women should no longer consider porn use a “deal breaker.”

      He would rather women marry porn addicts than stay single, all to “save marriage.”

      Seriously. He was advising Christian single women to marry Christian men who use porn. I did a post about it here:

      (Link): Male Christian Researcher Mark Regnerus Believes Single Christian Women Should Marry Male Christian Porn Addicts – another Christian betrayal of sexual ethics and more evidence of Christians who do make an idol out of marriage

      Many Christians also assume every person is out having sex prior to marriage, so those of us who are virgins and/or celibate past the age of 30 get zero support from the wider Christian community – no blog articles, no magazines, no sermons.

      Part of the reason they are pressuring young folks to marry is that they do not believe that anyone can resist sexual urges past one’s mid 20s.

      However, I’m in my early 40s, still a virgin (I was waiting until marriage to have sex, haven’t been married yet), so I am proof that it can be done. I’ve met other virgins over age of 30 online who are Christians.

      But Christians are not interested in giving a platform to mature celibates / virgins. They act like we do not exist. We are fictional.

      You would not believe the insulting, weird, un-biblical, condescending, insensitive teachings and attitudes towards adult singles and singlehood that are out there by self-professing, Bible believing Christians (my entire blog here is a testimony to it, I cite many examples). It’s very depressing and hard to be an adult single in Christianity.

      Anyway, I have many links on my blog about these subjects, here are just a few:

      (Link): A Case Against Early Marriage by Ashley Moore (editorial)

      (Link): The Nauseating Push by Evangelicals for Early Marriage

      (Link): A Response by Colon to Regnerus Re: Misguided Early Marriage Propaganda

      (Link): Southern Baptists Pushing Early Marriage, Baby Making – Iranians Pushing Mandatory Motherhood – When Christians Sound Like Muslims

      (Link): Douglas Wilson and Christian Response FAIL to Sexual Sin – No Body Can Resist Sex – supposedly – Re Celibacy

      (Link): Typical Erroneous Teaching About Adult Celibacy Rears Its Head Again: To Paraphrase Speaker at Ethics and Public Policy Center: Lifelong Celibacy is “heroic ethical standard that is not expected of heteros, so it should not be expected of homosexuals”

      (Link): Churches Would Rather Hear From Ex Porn Stars Than Adult Celibates or Virgins – Church Invites Ex Porn Star to be Guest Speaker

      Sorry these comments were so lengthy, but some of these topics get me worked up. Most churches have failed at these things, and even when it’s called to their attention (like how to help adult singles, etc), they refuse to.

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