Seven Reasons Why It’s Hard To Be Single In The Church by Sarah The Barge
She covers some of the same points I’ve been raising at this blog the last few years. I thought any of my regular readers (assuming I have any) might enjoy this.
I am not going to copy her whole post to my blog. Please use the link below to visit her blog.
(Link): Seven Reasons Why It’s Hard To Be Single In The Church by Sarah The Barge
- 1) The mythical “gift” of singleness.
- I’ve heard many, many times from church leaders that some people have “the gift of singleness,” which is divinely given and has nothing to do with that person’s free will. Furthermore, if a person has the “gift of singleness,” they know from a young age that they’re meant to be single for the rest of their lives.
- Therefore, if you don’t know that you’re supposed to be single forever, that means you’re supposed to get married.
- This is nowhere in the Bible. Nowhere. Paul says in I Corinthians 7 that marriage is a concession, something you’re allowed to do as a last resort if you can’t resist sexual temptation.
- I know lots of single people, even single people who have been single for decades and died single. And I don’t know of a single person who knew they were going to be single forever.
- 3) Marriage is treated as the benchmark for maturity and adulthood.
- This is true in general society, but I think it’s even more noticeable in the church.
- 4) There are more resources to support marriage & family than singles.
- 5) I Corinthians 7 is acknowledged but not encouraged.
- 7) Single people are not discipled in their singleness.
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When I’ve spoken to pastors about being single, the immediate response has been to come up with solutions to make singleness not quite so painful until some guy wises up and marries me.
Singleness is not a disease, and marriage is not the cure.
Yes, singleness is sometimes a struggle and people in that season are sometimes miserable or discouraged or weary — but you could say the same thing about marriage, right? And we don’t offer miserable married people divorces; we teach them how to grow and persevere in the midst of the difficulties.
- I have never, not even once, been encouraged to persevere in my singleness because I could do something with it that I couldn’t otherwise do for God. Instead, I’ve been encouraged to look forward to marriage
Please click here to read the rest of her post
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Related Posts, This Blog:
(Link): Singleness Is Not A Gift
(Link): The Myth of the Gift – Regarding Christian Teachings on Gift of Singleness and Gift of Celibacy
(Link): There is No Such Thing as a Gift of Singleness or Gift of Celibacy or A Calling To Either One
(Link): The Gift of Singleness – A Mistranslation and a Poorly Used Cliche’
(Link): Are Single Christians Marginalised By Their Own Church?
(Link): Are Single People the Lepers of Today’s Church? by Gina Dalfonzo
(Link): Lies The Church Tells Single Women (by Sue Bohlin)
(Link): A Critique Of, More Singles Commentary by Mark Driscoll (“Two Mistakes Singles Make”)
(Link): The Obligatory, “Oh, but if you’re single you can still benefit from my marriage sermon” line
(Link): Ministering to the Unmarried by Noel Cameron
(Link): Single Adults – Why They Stay and Why They Stray From Church – Book Excerpts
(Link): Five Things Single Women Hate to Hear
(Link): Stop telling single women they’re fabulous! by S. Eckel
(Link): Myths About Never Married Adults Over Age 40
(Link): Isn’t It Time the Church Gave Singles a Break? (editorial from another blog)
(Link): Are Christian Singles The New Second Class Christian? by Duke Taber
(Link): No, Christians and Churches Do Not Idolize Virginity and Sexual Purity
(Link): Singles Shaming at The Vintage church in Raleigh – Singlehood Shaming / Celibate Shaming
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