Seven Reasons Why It’s Hard To Be Single In The Church by Sarah The Barge

Seven Reasons Why It’s Hard To Be Single In The Church by Sarah The Barge

She covers some of the same points I’ve been raising at this blog the last few years. I thought any of my regular readers (assuming I have any) might enjoy this.

I am not going to copy her whole post to my blog. Please use the link below to visit her blog.

(Link): Seven Reasons Why It’s Hard To Be Single In The Church by Sarah The Barge

  • 1) The mythical “gift” of singleness.
  • I’ve heard many, many times from church leaders that some people have “the gift of singleness,” which is divinely given and has nothing to do with that person’s free will.  Furthermore, if a person has the “gift of singleness,” they know from a young age that they’re meant to be single for the rest of their lives.
  • Therefore, if you don’t know that you’re supposed to be single forever, that means you’re supposed to get married.
  • This is nowhere in the Bible.  Nowhere.  Paul says in I Corinthians 7 that marriage is a concession, something you’re allowed to do as a last resort if you can’t resist sexual temptation.
  • I know lots of single people, even single people who have been single for decades and died single.  And I don’t know of a single person who knew they were going to be single forever.

  • 3) Marriage is treated as the benchmark for maturity and adulthood.
  • This is true in general society, but I think it’s even more noticeable in the church.
  • 4) There are more resources to support marriage & family than singles.
  • 5) I Corinthians 7 is acknowledged but not encouraged.
  • 7) Single people are not discipled in their singleness.
  • When I’ve spoken to pastors about being single, the immediate response has been to come up with solutions to make singleness not quite so painful until some guy wises up and marries me.

    Singleness is not a disease, and marriage is not the cure.

    Yes, singleness is sometimes a struggle and people in that season are sometimes miserable or discouraged or weary — but you could say the same thing about marriage, right?  And we don’t offer miserable married people divorces; we teach them how to grow and persevere in the midst of the difficulties.

  • I have never, not even once, been encouraged to persevere in my singleness because I could do something with it that I couldn’t otherwise do for God.  Instead, I’ve been encouraged to look forward to marriage

Please click here to read the rest of her post

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Related Posts, This Blog:

(Link):  Really, It’s Okay To Be Single – In order to protect marriage, we should be careful not to denigrate singleness – by Peter Chin

(Link): How Christians Have Failed on Teaching Maturity and Morality Vis A Vis Marriage / Parenthood – Used as Markers of Maturity Or Assumed to be Sanctifiers – Also: More Hypocrisy – Christians Teach You Need A Spouse to Be Purified, But Also Teach God Won’t Send You a Spouse Until You Become Purified

(Link): Singleness Is Not A Gift

(Link): The Myth of the Gift – Regarding Christian Teachings on Gift of Singleness and Gift of Celibacy

(Link): There is No Such Thing as a Gift of Singleness or Gift of Celibacy or A Calling To Either One

(Link): The Gift of Singleness – A Mistranslation and a Poorly Used Cliche’

(Link): Want To But Can’t – The One Christian Demographic Being Continually Ignored by Christians Re: Marriage

(Link): Never Married Christians Over Age 35 who are childless Are More Ignored Than Divorced or Infertile People or Single Parents

(Link):  To Get Any Attention or Support from a Church These Days you Have To Be A Stripper, Prostitute, or Orphan (Many Churches Ignore Adult Singles)

(Link):  The Netherworld of Singleness for Some Singles – You Want Marriage But Don’t Want to Be Disrespected or Ignored for Being Single While You’re Single

(Link):  Are Single Christians Marginalised By Their Own Church?

(Link):  Are Single People the Lepers of Today’s Church? by Gina Dalfonzo

(Link): Lies The Church Tells Single Women (by Sue Bohlin)

(Link): A Critique Of, More Singles Commentary by Mark Driscoll (“Two Mistakes Singles Make”)

(Link): The Obligatory, “Oh, but if you’re single you can still benefit from my marriage sermon” line

(Link): Ministering to the Unmarried by Noel Cameron

(Link): Preachers and Christian Media Personalities: Re: Marriage – You’re missing the point stop trying to argue or shame singles into getting married

(Link): Single Adults – Why They Stay and Why They Stray From Church – Book Excerpts

(Link): Five Things Single Women Hate to Hear

(Link): Stop telling single women they’re fabulous! by S. Eckel

(Link): The Irrelevancy To Single or Childless or Childfree Christian Women of Biblical Gender Complementarian Roles / Biblical Womanhood Teachings

(Link): Myths About Never Married Adults Over Age 40

(Link): Isn’t It Time the Church Gave Singles a Break? (editorial from another blog)

(Link): Are Christian Singles The New Second Class Christian? by Duke Taber

(Link): No, Christians and Churches Do Not Idolize Virginity and Sexual Purity

(Link): Single Christian Women Have No Protection according to some preachers – only married women have protection

(Link):  Oh geeze. Another married Christian condescendingly patting single Christians on the head, reassuring them they are dandy as-is, and to remember they have the fictional Gift of Singleness

(Link): Gift of Singleness Gift of Celibacy Unbiblical – Those Terms and Teachings Contribute to Fornication / Editorial About Sex Surrogates

(Link): False Christian Teaching: “Only A Few Are Called to Singleness and Celibacy” or (also false): God’s gifting of singleness is rare – More Accurate: God calls only a few to marriage and God gifts only the rare with the gift of Marriage

(Link): ‘God’s Purpose for Women,’ by Matthew Hagee – Hagee Teaches that Single Unmarried Women Do Not Have a Purpose in Life God has no purpose for singles

(Link): Singles Shaming at The Vintage church in Raleigh – Singlehood Shaming / Celibate Shaming

(Link): Christian TV Personality ( Jimmy Evans ) Says You Cannot Meet God’s Destiny For Your Life Without A Spouse = Anti Singleness Singlehood Singles Bias Prejudice Making Idol out of Marriage