Redefining Family (How Christians Exclude, Marginalize Adult Singles) – post from Sojourner’s

Redefining Family

  • (Link): Redefining Family
  • by Juliet Vedral 04-30-2015 | 4:58pm
  • [Author explains how she was single again in her 30s after breaking up with a boyfriend]
  • …. And yet I can’t help but feel that in the short time I went from being in a relationship to being out of one, I have reverted back to a second-class status in the church. I recently watched a video in a series called  (Link): For the Life of the World that essentially said that God’s plan to show love, encouragement, and blessing to the world was through the nuclear (and in this video series, white, middle-class) family. The small group I attend rightly defended me and other singles — most of us who are not single by choice — saying that this was a too-narrow definition of family.
  • I’ve certainly felt like I was part of a larger family — a body if you will — in this time of loss. I would love to receive comfort and love from a husband, but I won’t deny that having the chance to receive comfort and love from at least 30 people over the past week and a half is a tremendous blessing.
  • One that has made me really wonder why the church is so quick to defend, define, and glorify marriage while ignoring the extremely unique way that the Body of Christ is called to supersede all other relational bonds and provide love and family despite heredity, gender, nationality, or economic status.

  • ….It strikes me as funny that we have to ask many of these same questions in the church. Is a Christian marriage worth less if the couple cannot conceive? Is a Christian’s contribution to bringing life to the world worth less if they never have the opportunity to marry or have children? Is a Christian’s ability to provide love, encouragement, or blessing diminished if they’ve been widowed?
  • …As a single woman who has committed her life to following Jesus, I reject the notion that I cannot fully participate in blessing the world because so far no one has put a ring on it. I am not single by choice, and I have had to draw deep from the well of God’s love to learn what it means to be God’s Beloved. I have had to cling to the truth that even though I may not get married in this life, I have a Maker and a Husband. I have had to learn to let Jesus fill my soul, and let me tell you, it’s a beautiful thing.

((click here to read the rest))

hat tip to Defend The Sheep’s Twitter, which is where I first saw this story

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Related Posts:

(Link):  Are Single People the Lepers of Today’s Church? by Gina Dalfonzo

(Link): Lies The Church Tells Single Women (by Sue Bohlin)

(Link): If Family Is Central, Christ Is Not

(Link): Never Married Christians Over Age 35 who are childless Are More Ignored Than Divorced or Infertile People or Single Parents

(Link): The Obligatory, “Oh, but if you’re single you can still benefit from my marriage sermon” line

(Link): The Problem with Platitudes – for Christian single over 35 years old never married

(Link): Myths About Never Married Adults Over Age 40

(Link): Isn’t It Time the Church Gave Singles a Break? (editorial from another blog)

(Link): Are Christian Singles The New Second Class Christian? by Duke Taber

(Link): Do You Rate Your Family Too High? (Christians Who Idolize the Family) (article)

(Link): Never Married Adult Woman Says Married Friends Did Not Help Her When She Was Sick

(Link): The Irrelevancy To Single or Childless or Childfree Christian Women of Biblical Gender Complementarian Roles / Biblical Womanhood Teachings

(Link): False Christian Teaching: “Only A Few Are Called to Singleness and Celibacy” or (also false): God’s gifting of singleness is rare – More Accurate: God calls only a few to marriage and God gifts only the rare with the gift of Marriage

(Link): Why all the articles about being Child Free? On Being Childfree or Childless – as a Conservative / Right Wing / Christian

(Link): Cultural, Church, Christian and Secular Discrimination Against Childless and Childfree Women – and link to an editorial by a Childless Woman

(Link): Single Christian Women Have No Protection according to some preachers – only married women have protection

(Link): The Netherworld of Singleness for Some Singles – You Want Marriage But Don’t Want to Be Disrespected or Ignored for Being Single While You’re Single

(Link): Singles Shaming at The Vintage church in Raleigh – Singlehood Shaming / Celibate Shaming

(Link): Christian TV Personality ( Jimmy Evans ) Says You Cannot Meet God’s Destiny For Your Life Without A Spouse = Anti Singleness Singlehood Singles Bias Prejudice Making Idol out of Marriage

(Link): Response to the Hemingway Editorial ‘Fecundophobia’ – conservatives and Christians continue to idolize children, marriage – which is unbiblical

(Link): Christian Gender Complementarian Group Teaching That There Will Be Marriage in Afterlife and That Women Must Submit To Males in Heaven (post at Spiritual Sounding Board)

(Link): Are There Any Protestant or Baptist Singles – Friendly Churches or Denominations ? / Singles Single Adult Childfree Childless Age 30 40 50 Christian

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