The real truth about sex: What we’re not telling our kids (article advocates teaching staying a virgin until marriage)

The real truth about sex: What we’re not telling our kids

I bet ol’ John Morgan will see this story via my blog and quote it on his blog and not credit me at all.

Please see these posts to see what I mean:

The person who wrote this page I am linking to below advocates that people wait until marriage to have sex.

This does seem to be the position of the Bible, and yes, people can stay celibate for many years.

However, I had expected to marry by my mid 30s at the latest, am still single and a virgin in my 40s, and have given up on the “virgin until marriage” belief (for myself personally).

If or when I get a suitable, long term or serious boyfriend, I am willing and ready to have pre-marital sex.

I do think it is prudent for anyone under the age of 25 to hold off on sex. If you are emotionally mature and have the financial means (to pay for birth control, etc), I would say if you find someone who loves you, go ahead and have sex, even if you are not married to the person (but only if you really want to – never cave in to a man who pressures you for sex, or who threatens to leave you if you don’t put out, or not as soon as he wants  you too. He is trash.)

I don’t think people need to “marry early” to avoid fornication, as some evangelicals advocate. I am proof that a person can maintain his or her virginity beyond their 20s or 30s. It’s not impossible to remain celibate for years.

But, I’m no longer completely on board with this “keep refraining from sex even if you still find yourself single past 35” view, either. It’s ridiculous.

(Link):  The real truth about sex: What we’re not telling our kids


  • By Marcia Segelstein
  • Published June 05, 2015
  • ….Here are some cold, hard facts to consider.  Every year there are ten million – ten million! – new cases of sexually transmitted diseases among our sons and daughters who are 15 to 24 years old.  As of 2008, one in four teenagers already had an STD, according to the Centers for Disease Control.
  •   The most commonly transmitted STD is HPV, or human papillomavirus.  We now know that certain types of HPV cause cancers of the head and neck.  Think Michael Douglas.  Others cause cervical cancer.
  • Another “common STD,” according to the CDC, is chlamydia.  In 2013, there were nearly a million cases among 15- to 24-year olds.  If our daughters are among that million, it could mean they’ll never be able to have kids of their own.
  • ….As for getting pregnant, the CDC reports that nearly half of all pregnancies in this country are unintended.  For women 19 and younger that rises to four out of five.  What’s not to understand here?  Sex makes babies!
  • According to the Guttmacher Institute, at 2008 rates, one in ten women will have an abortion by the time she is 20 years old.
  • Even if you’re morally neutral on the subject of abortion, the image of your  daughter crying in her college dorm room as she contemplates the possibility of aborting your grandchild can’t be a pretty one.
  • And even if you believe abortion is the equivalent of getting a tooth pulled, how could you not worry about the possibility of some psychological fallout.
  • Then there are the emotional consequences of sexual intimacy.  Studies have linked sexual activity with depression in teenage girls.
  • We now know about oxytocin, a hormone released in the female brain during sexual activity.  Among other things, it promotes feelings of bonding and trust.
  • Like it or not, sex comes with emotional strings attached.  Dr. Miriam Grossman is a psychiatrist who worked in the campus counseling center at UCLA.
  • She recounted the devastating effects of casual sex among her patients in her book, Unprotected.  “Almost daily, I prescribe medication to help students, mostly women, cope with loss and heartbreak.”  Are we willing to live with the prospect of our kids suffering from depression?  Depression that was preventable?

    As parents we spend our lives trying to protect our kids.  So here’s a radical thought.  How about urging them to wait till they’re married before having sex?  If we really want what’s best and safest and healthiest for our kids, let’s start a sexual revolution.  Hey, it’s been done before.


Related Posts:

(Link):  How About Using Celibates as Role Models For Celibacy? (Oddity: Christians Holding Up Non-Virgins [Fornicators] As Being Experts or Positive Examples on Sexual Purity)

(Link):  Slut Shaming and Secular and Christian Culture – Dirty Water / Used Chewing Gum and the CDC’s Warnings – I guess the CDC is a bunch of slut shamers ?


(Link):  Churches Would Rather Hear From Ex Porn Stars Than Adult Celibates or Virgins – Church Invites Ex Porn Star to be Guest Speaker



2 thoughts on “The real truth about sex: What we’re not telling our kids (article advocates teaching staying a virgin until marriage)”

  1. You see a similar kind of obtuseness about sexuality in atheist blogs. Bloggers like Hemant Mehta,”the Friendly Atheist,” post stories about christian women who grow up with negative indoctrination about sex. Yet the moment these young women remove their purity rings and renounce their abstinence pledges, they find a world of sexual fulfillment opening up for them.

    This doesn’t necessarily work for young christian men who grow up in these kinds of churches. A lot of them discover that women in secular society will still reject them any way, and for the real reason instead of the convenient excuse about how god forbids fornication.

    1. Thank you for leaving a comment.

      You said,

      This doesn’t necessarily work for young christian men who grow up in these kinds of churches. A lot of them discover that women in secular society will still reject them any way, and for the real reason instead of the convenient excuse about how god forbids fornication.

      Did you mean some secular women would reject such men for lack of sexual experience?

      I have seen some of them say so on other sites, that they would (and I believe I mentioned this in passing in a really old blog post on my blog here), but I feel that is a shallow and stupid reason to reject someone,

      I’ve also done a blog post or two here about secular articles that discourage men who have sexual experience from dating or marrying women who are virgins.

      I’ve been to the Friendly Atheist blog a few times and left a few comments there before.

      Yes, I’ve noticed that atheist (and other Non Christian), or ex Christian blogs or sites, are the same way. They make a little too much about the former Christian virgins who are now sleeping around with people all over the place.

      Although I am personally willing to toss the towel in on the “No Premarital Nooky” practice, I still respect the Christians who are hanging in there and sticking to that, and I still believe that the Bible says sexual acts are for marriage only.

      Which is why I do find the sort of blog posts you are referring to kind of annoying and insulting.

      Sometimes, the ex-Christian or liberal Christian blogs and Facebook groups post the same content, stories by women who were brought up Christian, were virgins, were taught to stay sexually pure, but who decided to fool around and now say how liberating it is.

      Which, to a point, is all fine and dandy for them, but I resent how these writers and blogs are there-by shaming the singles who still, due to religious or personal conviction, are remaining virgins / celibate.

      A lot of mature celibates / virgins are getting stomped on by all parties – conservative Christians, progressive Christians, secular feminists, atheists, ex Christians…

      It’s almost as though it’s “Open Season” on anyone who is a virgin over 25 or 30, and it doesn’t matter if it’s a Christian site, conservative, liberal, atheist, whatever, they all treat celibates and virgins like objects of mockery, or repressed individuals who should be pitied.

      Segments of our culture want us to tip toe around Bruce Jenner going transgender and becoming Caitlyn, or we’re told we’re bullies or bigots if we don’t agree with the legalization of homosexual marriage, or we are prudes if we are not cool with casual sex – but it’s fine and dandy with these same groups to ridicule or insult virgins and celibates who are adults.

      I wrote a blog post a few weeks ago about an exchange I got into on Twitter with a few atheists about celibacy.

      I don’t know if you’d be interested in reading that or not, but here’s the link:
      Some Atheists Are Just As Ignorant About Adult Singleness and Celibacy as Progressive Christians, Secular Feminists, and Protestant Evangelical or Conservative Christians

      Maybe I should do a blog post some time about some of this.

      Anyway, thank you again for leaving comments. 🙂

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