Father Teaches Son To Fly Into Rages Over Inconsequential B.S. (parody, funny)
Oh my goodness. This is too funny.
And this comes just right after I did a blog the other day about (Link): my hot head ex-friend Ellen who treated me like trash.
Both Ellen and my sister “Shirley” fly into rages and usually over very inconsequential bull crap.
Maybe someone at The Onion read my blog about Ellen? My sister is ten times worse than Ellen, though. I don’t know if I’ll do a post about my sister Shirley or not. If you thought Ellen was bad, my sister really takes the cake.
- RAPID CITY, SD—Saying that he always strives to set a strong example for his son to follow, local father Gary Dalton told reporters Tuesday that he has been carefully teaching his 9-year-old boy Zachary how to overreact with blind rage to completely irrelevant bullshit.
- “Now that Zach’s getting older, it’s important for me to show him how to deal with the minor inconveniences in life by blowing them totally out of proportion,” said Dalton, noting that he frequently tries to demonstrate to his son the proper way to fly off the handle both at home and in public. “Zach should know that small, trivial irritations, like misplaced keys or having to relight the pilot light in the basement, should trigger an unbridled anger inside him.
- And that’s not something he can fully learn from his friends at school or by watching TV—he needs a father figure right there, blowing up in his face about never, ever messing with the DVR again for him to see exactly how it’s done.”
- “It’s up to me as a parent to become unsettlingly irate over something as small as letting the screen door slam shut, so that Zach learns to never let even the most petty, negligible nuisance slide,” Dalton added. “He’s an observant kid and he really looks up to me, so I’m sure he’ll catch on quickly.”