Don’t Listen to Assh-les Who Tell You When to Have Kids

Don’t Listen to Assh-les Who Tell You When to Have Kids

This editorial applies to anyone and everyone, but I’ve noticed that evangelicals, Baptists, and other conservative Christians are quite fond of shaming, arguing, or guilt tripping Christians into getting married and having children and by a certain age.

I would encourage you to click through and read this entire link below. I am not in the mood to copy or paste the whole thing here, and some people don’t like it when you reproduce an entire blog post from their blog on yours.

So do click through to read the whole thing, because there are huge chunks of arguments this author raises to defend you making your own choices on when to have children rather than being shamed into having kids when other people say you should – ones that don’t appear in my excerpts below.

(Link): Don’t Listen to Assh-les Who Tell You When to Have Kids

Excerpts

  • by Tracy Moore
  • For the first time in seven years, the birth rate has (Link): risen. The 1 percent increase is attributed to women in their 30s and 40s popping ‘em out a smidge faster.

  • But, before you begin to celebrate the expansion of motherhood’s age range, here are a bunch of statistics from a piece at Quartz that says that those older moms and dads are miserable—and that it’s high time they stopped pretending otherwise.

  • Emma-Kate Symons (Link): rounds up a slew of stats and some anecdotes that paint a bleak picture for the older parent.

  • Symons reports that there are nine times more first-time moms over 35 than there were in the 1970s, and that men with at least a bachelors are also breeding later, with a “steady increase” in dudes aged 40 to 49 who have kids under 6 years old.

    Symons writes:

  • —start quote
  • But contrary to a vociferous faction of the 40-plus (Link): “happymommy” blogger crowd and out-of-touch child-raising manuals, it’s not going well at all.

    Katrina Alcorn, author of the bestselling Maxed out: American Moms on the brink, says women who delayed having kids ‘‘to try to get a foothold in their careers or to get some financial stability’’ are being pushed beyond their limits as they struggle with work-life balance and the additional burdens that mid-life brings.

    ‘‘They find themselves in their 40s, sandwiched between raising young kids and trying to take care of aging parents while also trying to support their families financially,’’ she explains to Quartz.‘‘It’s too much.’’

  • —end quote

  • While I personally believe that absolutely anything can be shitty at any time if you frame it correctly with your shitty brain, I also have to say: You know what could also be “too much”? Having a kid in your twenties and forgoing vital career advancement, only to meet the bias of resume gaps when you re-enter the workforce.

  • Or, really, having a kid at all, if you’re a woman, because there’s a penalty for mothers (but not fathers!) for doing so— (Link): at any age. Other things that are too much: Having a kid at any other time than when you were personally ready for whatever reason because of statistics, or the suggestion that it might bring you less joy than some other person whose experience you will never know anyway.

  • …The truth is, and it must be repeated often: Nothing outside of your own calculations can help you decide (Link): whether or not to have kids.
  • These stats above, in particular, fail to calculate the (Link): economic, romantic, emotional factors that go into deciding when to breed, so they won’t help you either.
  • It is highly, highly individual and not a choice made in a vacuum of best-case scenario stats about how things are shaking out, grand-scheme, generally, the world over.

    Having a baby is a risk at any age, at any time, for any number of reasons; it’s also a reward in just as many unpredictable ways. Don’t let statistics—or anyone, for that matter—tell you otherwise.

———————————

Related Posts:

(Link):  Marriage, Parenthood, Judgment by Christians and Non Christians – You Can’t Win No Matter What Choice You Make

(Link):  This dad is glad he postponed fatherhood (commentary – first time father at age 40 or older)

(Link): The Trend of Older People Becoming First Time Parents

(Link):  Are Older Men’s Sperm Really Any Worse? (study) Also: article author assumes men single and/or childless until their late 30s and older are probably autistic, retarded, or drooling simpletons

(Link):  2014 Study: US Birth Rates Hit Record Low (but on increase for women age 35 and especially over 40)

(Link): Praying for a Child – The Catholic Church makes life impossible for infertile women.

(Link):  Why do we still have to justify the choice to be child-free? by H. Freeman

(Link):  Are Marriage and Family A Woman’s Highest Calling? by Marcia Wolf – and other links that address the Christian fallacy that a woman’s most godly or only proper role is as wife and mother

(Link):  Over 10 Million Men of Prime Working Age Are Unemployed in the US and Experts Think It’s Causing Declining Marriage Rates

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