Fatherhood and Marriage Bring Out the Best In Men says Conservative Think Tank

Fatherhood and Marriage Bring Out the Best In Men says Conservative Think Tank

I am a social conservative and a right winger who doesn’t have a problem with marriage, the family unit, or natalism per se, but I do object to how other conservatives place such a tremendous premium on such things to the degree that they marginalize singles, celibacy, childlessness, and the childfree.

I also completely object to the notion put forward by Christians and conservatives that parenthood and marriage are necessary components to make persons mature, responsible, or ethical.

The Bible certainly does not teach that marriage or parenthood are necessary to accomplish those traits, but rather, says that the indwelling Holy Spirit, self control, choice, and self discipline are crucial in that regard.

I was scrolling through my Twitter feed today when I saw this tweet by conservative think tank Heritage Foundation:

<blockquote class=”twitter-tweet” lang=”en”><p lang=”en” dir=”ltr”>Fatherhood and <a href=”https://twitter.com/hashtag/marriage?src=hash”>#marriage</a&gt; bring out the best in men <a href=”http://t.co/RXqPfqhVa8″>http://t.co/RXqPfqhVa8</a&gt; <a href=”http://t.co/chYGErsuJx”>pic.twitter.com/chYGErsuJx</a></p>&mdash; Heritage Foundation (@Heritage) <a href=”https://twitter.com/Heritage/status/615641144962125824″>June 29, 2015</a></blockquote>
<script async src=”//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js” charset=”utf-8″></script>

Heritage quote (from their Tweet):

I left them (Link): this comment:

  • So does single celibacy [bring out the best in men]. Jesus Christ was a never married, celibate / childless man. Paul commends singleness in 1 Corinthians 7

The link in their tweet is to this page:

(Link): Fatherhood and Marriage Bring Out the Best in Men

Excerpts:

  • by Vanessa Calder
  • Is fatherhood becoming a relic of the past?
  • The sad absence of fathers in American families is pervasive and has been growing for decades. In the 1960s, less than 10 percent of American children were born to single women, but as of 2013, the number had increased to 41 percent. Among Hispanic children, 54 percent are born to unwed mothers, and the figure is 72 percent for African-American children.
  • The institution of fatherhood is not merely a passé throwback to the mid-20th century. Active and engaged fatherhood is an integral part of nature’s design. As Rutgers University’s David Popenoe states, “The contribution of fathers to child-rearing is unique and irreplaceable.”
  • Research shows the absence of fathers in the home is associated with poorer outcomes for children.

I can’t be bothered to reproduce the entire editorial here; you can click on the link provided to read the rest if you like. I assume it’s probably filled with a bazillion stats presumably saying how much healthier and happier kids are if brought up with a father who is around – such editorials are so common, filled with the same points I tire of reading them in full.

I’m not opposed to the nuclear family, but I don’t think fellow conservatives don’t realize how incorrect and ostracizing headlines such as “Fatherhood and Marriage Bring Out the Best in Men” comes across to men who never marry, men who are infertile, or whose wives are infertile, men who would love to marry but who cannot find a wife, men who have no interest in marrying or who don’t want children.

The Bible does not teach anywhere that marriage or parenthood are necessary to bring out a person’s best. 

Jesus and Paul advocated and commended adult singleness, celibacy, and childlessness.

The Bible teaches that God can “bring the best out of” anyone, regardless of their martial status or ability or lack thereof to procreate.

While I often disagree with liberals, I do agree with the liberal author of the following – I don’t know of many people who are ‘anti father.’

It is simply not true that fatherhood or marriage “bring out the best” in men. It was an encounter with the risen Lord and repentance that “brought the best” out of the apostle Paul.

If marriage and parenting are necessary to bring the best out of people or build character, that would mean anyone who does not marry or have children – even women such as myself who want to marry but never found the right guy – are doomed; we have no hope.

We can never improve our lot. And what of people who do marry, but their spouse dies? Or they have to divorce, because their spouse was abusive? Are they without hope as well, incapable of being their best? No, of course not.

So, if my fellow conservatives want to keep writing editorials supporting parenting and marriage, they need to drop the strawmen arguments, the stereotypes, and unbiblical talking points and find some other grounds from which to launch their points.

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Related posts:

(Link): Parenthood Does Not Make People More Loving Mature Godly Ethical Caring or Responsible (One Stop Thread)

(Link):  The Holy Spirit Sanctifies a Person Not A Spouse – Weekly Christian Marriage Advice Column Pokes Holes in Christian Stereotype that Marriage Automatically Sanctifies People

(Link): How Christians Have Failed on Teaching Maturity and Morality Vis A Vis Marriage / Parenthood – Used as Markers of Maturity Or Assumed to be Sanctifiers

(Link): Fatherhood Not Quite the Producer of Manly, Mature, Godly Men Some Conservative Christians Make It Out To Be

(Link): Salvation By Marriage Alone – The Over Emphasis Upon Marriage by Conservative Christians Evangelicals Southern Baptists

(Link):  “Who is my mother and who are my brothers?” – one of the most excellent Christian rebuttals I have seen against the Christian idolatry of marriage and natalism, and in support of adult singleness and celibacy – from CBE’s site

(Link):   American Churches Idolizing Fatherhood: Churches Want Your Dad, and Will Give Him Bacon, Guns, and a Grill

(Link): The Irrelevancy To Single or Childless or Childfree Christian Women of Biblical Gender Complementarian Roles / Biblical Womanhood Teachings

(Link):  Church must avoid becoming Fight Club to attract men by H. Coffey

(Link): New father killed his five-week-old son by slamming his face into cot because he felt fatherhood meant ‘his life was over’

(Link): Un-Happy Father’s Day!

(Link): Why men are boycotting marriage, fatherhood and the American Dream (article by Matt K. Lewis)

(Link): Are Marriage and Family A Woman’s Highest Calling? by Marcia Wolf – and other links that address the Christian fallacy that a woman’s most godly or only proper role is as wife and mother

(Link): Father Leaves 2 Month Old Son Alone in Car So He Can Go Shopping on Black Friday

(Link): There Are No “Biblical Men” by B. Robertson

(Link): Why Men Don’t Go To Church

(Link): New father killed his five-week-old son by slamming his face into cot because he felt fatherhood meant ‘his life was over’

(Link): Why all the articles about being Child Free? On Being Childfree or Childless – as a Conservative / Right Wing / Christian

(Link): Do You Rate Your Family Too High? (Christians Who Idolize the Family) (article)

(Link): The Isolating Power of Family-Centered Language (How churches exclude singles and the childless) by E A Dause

(Link): If the Family is Central Christ is Not

(Link):  AZ GOP vice-chair calls for sterilizing poor women: If you want a baby, get a job

(Link):  Baby Making Fixation at Christianity Today Magazine Online – Shaming Women For Not Procreating, or For Delaying Motherhood, or For Limiting the Number of Children

(Link):  Marriage, Parenthood, Judgment by Christians and Non Christians – You Can’t Win No Matter What Choice You Make