Why 12 Year Old Girls Are Having Sex Rougher, Earlier
From the “Fight the Drug” blog.
One of my only criticisms of this is a line that reads something like, “teen girls today have it harder than ever before.”
Do they? Sexual mores were pretty loose when I was a kid, even though porn was more difficult to obtain in the 1980s. Almost every article I’ve seen since I’ve been a teenager, articles about sexuality and sexual sin, almost always say, “today’s teens have it harder.” It’s become a cliche’.
This article also says one reason young girls are becoming sexually active younger is that they are hitting puberty younger, and their fathers aren’t around.
Well, okay, but I don’t think that necessarily means a kid will start boinking around. My father was emotionally absent in my life, and I got my period really young, but I’m still a virgin over 40 years of age.
A lot of this boils down to self-discipline: if you determine early in your life that sex prior to marriage is wrong, due to your personal convictions and/or religious reasons, and/or you don’t want to risk pregnancy or STIs, you will not fall into peer pressure to have sex.
You remember how I ended my last post, the one right before this one? If you are a woman, do not permit any man to talk you out of your boundaries in regards to sex. If there are certain sexual positions or acts you don’t feel comfortable performing, for whatever reason, you tell the guy “no.”
If you don’t want to have sex at all, the guy are dating should respect that. If he whines, pouts, nags you, or abuses you over this, dump him already.
A lot of you women today, especially teen girls, cave in and engage in sexual acts because you’re afraid your boyfriend might dump you.
As I said on my last post (click here to read it), there are far worse things in life than being single. You are better off dumping a user or a controlling jerk than capitulating on your values or boundaries.
No man is owed sex – not even husbands, and not even Christian husbands.
(Link): Why 12 Year Old Girls Are Having Sex Rougher, Earlier
- This article was originally posted in Australian Women’s Weekly
- [Regarding today’s teens views on sex:]
- … That oral sex doesn’t count as sex. That sending nude pictures via text or Facebook is the new flirting. That boys their age watch porn regularly, and demand from their girlfriends the sexual menu they see online – hairless, surgically-enhanced bodies, ‘girl-on-girl action’, and much, much more.
- …They are learning from the 21st century’s version of sex education class: the internet; a more enlightening and forthcoming source than nervous parents and teachers. But these lessons are a dangerous mix of misinformation and distorted images of sexuality, which is contributing to behavior that can leave young women with deep psychological and physical scars.
- … For one thing, girls are becoming women earlier than they used to. Reasons range from better nutrition to obesity to the break-down of the family unit.
“When dads aren’t around, they’re more likely to move into puberty earlier,” says parenting expert Michael Grose. “If it starts earlier, I imagine this would mean they are beginning to be sexually active earlier.”
In the past 60 years, the age at which girls lose their virginity has dropped from 19 (when many women were just getting married in the 1950’s) to 16-years-old, but many start much earlier. Dolly magazine’s 2011 Youth Monitor found 56 per cent of teens first had sex between 13 and 15 years old, a figure backed up by an Australian study that found the age of girls’ first sexual experience ranged from 11 to 17 years, with a median age of 14.
- … Most worryingly, there has also been a marked increase in unwanted sex, an experience that can have a long-term effect on how a woman feels about herself and her sexuality. “The main reasons are being too drunk or high, and pressure from a partner,” Dr Mitchell says. “Alcohol [consumption] has gone up over time, too, and it’s intimately connected to their sexual behavior.”
Rates of sexually transmitted diseases are rising, especially in the 15-19 age group; in 2008, slightly more than 25 per cent of all chlamydia infections were in the 15- to 19-year-old age group, and girls were diagnosed at three times the rate of boys.
That’s just the statistics; the anecdotal evidence is more frightening. Parenting expert Michael Grose says there is a casual attitude to oral sex. “I’ve heard stories from teachers of oral sex happening at school,” he says. “My generation went behind the shed and had a smoke. It’s been put to me that oral sex at school is like smoking. That’s extreme, but I think extremes explain the norm.”
This doesn’t sound unusual to 16-year-old Anne. “Oral sex happens a lot, it’s before losing your virginity,” she says. “I had a 16th birthday party and apparently two people were doing it on my front lawn.”
Technology has also changed the sexual landscape. Once upon a time we would sit by the phone, praying our crush would call and hoping our parents wouldn’t listen in. These days, there’s constant contact via SMS, Facebook, Twitter, and instant messaging. Parents have little, if any, ability to monitor the conversation.
Teens flirt online, often with people they have not met.
- …Online flirting often becomes more daring, with one party – usually the boy – asking the other to send sexy pictures. “When you’re in year seven or year eight, it’s pretty big,” says Rebecca. “It’s more the younger years, they don’t do [sex] in person, they do it on the internet. One girl was talking to a friend’s older brother, she didn’t know him in real life. She sent him photos. The guy will ask, and the girl will think about it, and she will eventually end up doing it.”
Of course, this can go terribly wrong. “One girl’s photo was passed around,” says Rebecca.
- … A Sydney study found that almost half of all adults, like Mike, first watched pornography between the ages of 11 and 13. Further research found 92 per cent of the boys had been exposed to online pornography by age 16.
In a flooded market, the industry is producing more extreme material to get an edge. In her research into the impact of pornography, Melbourne researcher Maree Crabbe has found a trend towards sex that is rough, aggressive, and idealizes acts women don’t enjoy in real life – gag-inducing oral sex, anal sex, physical and verbal aggression.
The industry admits this. One porn star told Maree actors were required to be rough with the girl, and take charge. “He had moved from lovey dovey sex, towards material where the pornographers want to get more energy … ‘**** her to destroy her’ ”.
- ….For many boys, porn is their sex education. They copy what they see, and expect their girlfriends to be like the women in the film. “Young people have described to us again and again, that pornography is shaping their sexual imaginations, expectations and practices,” says Maree. “We have had young men who have been genuinely surprised that when they enact what they see in porn, their partner doesn’t like what they were doing, because they’ve always seen women enjoy it on screen.”
- Fight the New Drug is all about pro-love and pro-healthy sexuality. That is why we are anti-porn. Porn is full of ideals and beliefs that are completely opposite of what real relationships, real sex, and real love are like. Healthy relationships are built on equality, honesty, respect, and love.
- But in porn, it’s the reverse; interactions are based on domination, disrespect, abuse, violence, and detachment. Our generation is the first to deal with the issue of pornography to this intensity and scale.
- And, as we’ve seen with today’s society, if we don’t take a stand, the problem is only going to get worse and worse. By being informed and understanding porn’s harmful effects, we can make a much needed change to our perceptions about love, sex, and relationships.
Hat tip to @DefendTheSheep, where I first saw this article mentioned