If Men Give Love to Get Sex by M. Murray

If Men Give Love to Get Sex

(Link):  If Men Give Love to Get Sex by M. Murray

Excerpts:

• …One phrase emerged as a consistent theme, a thread of folk wisdom running across a spectrum of dating and marriage advice:
• “Women give sex to get love. Men give love to get sex.”
• It seemed reasonable enough. And it fit neatly with the gender stereotypes I’d heard all my life: Men think about sex every seven seconds. Women aren’t visual. Men are like microwaves; women are like crockpots.
• But, as a newly married man, I soon discovered that these ideas were both inaccurate and damaging in our relationship. Beneath the glib cliché was an economic model of sex-bartering that undermines the very essence of love.

• If it’s true that men give love to get sex, then our shared sexuality is simply a business arrangement, a deal brokered in flowers and kisses. My wife is a deluxe call girl with a long-term contract, marriage is sheer capitalism, and love is a filthy currency.
• This sort of thinking drives a wedge between my wife and me, as if we’re more different than the same.
• …This is every sort of false. Before we were lovers, we were friends. I can live without sex, but I deeply need my relationship with my wife.
• The gender roles perpetuated in this sex/love arrangement distort our humanity.
• (( please click here to read the rest ))

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